Divine Mercy 9999 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I should have said a prayer to St Anthony. I'm looking for a list of questions to ask communities. I think it might have been TradMom that posted it. I've searched and looked and am not finding anything. It was a very comprehensive and excellent list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Hi, Divine Mercy 9999 and all, I can't promise that this was the total list or the final list, but I was able to track down Tradmom's list for you--it was quoted in a totally different posting, but here it is! (There are some advantages to having 'lurked' on PhatMass for a long time -- I remembered the discussion!) Blessings, AnneLine TradMom's list ==================================== Posted 06 August 2009 - 10:53 AM +Praised be Jesus Christ! I have received a couple of emails and PM's with questions and comments from people in discernment. I dug up a list of questions we (daughters and husband) used as discernment tool when they were looking. It is an extensive list and I don't recommend bombarding a Vocation Mistress with the whole thing at once, but as I told one Phatmasser, it is a good thing to tuck away in one's journal and refer to. I had posted this once before, but I have no idea how to find it! Hope it helps! Pax, TradMom What is the process of formation? How long is the postulancy, the novitiate and temporary vows? Does the community "share" formation with another community (or communities) or send you to a different location? (If they do share formation, is it co-ed? ) What is involved in the process of application? (Letters from spiritual directors, psychological testing, medical and dental records, behavioral assessments, etc.) What sort of financial arrangements would you need to organize in order to enter? (Meaning: Would you be responsible for your medical insurance, rent stipend, etc. until you enter novitiate or make temporary vows? Does the community ask for a dowry?) Do they have the means and willingness to "care for you" in the event of a serious disease, illness or accident before you make solemn/perpetual/final vows? If something unfortunate were to occur in your life (God forbid...cancer, an accident, etc.) would they ask you to leave the community? Would they help you get settled outside of the community? Other than a community with strict papal enclosure, how do they handle family emergencies (in the event you live in another area)? In the event an immediate family member were seriously ill or died, would you be allowed to return home? If you were a postulant, novice or in temporary vows, would they find the means for you to return home? (There are Canon laws about how long you can be out of the novitiate, but it is important to know if they would help you financially in a time of need.) How do they live out the charism of the founder or foundress of the community? What spiritual or religious practices/devotions are particular to them? Have they ever undergone a reformation? If so, why and how did it impact the community? Do they have different "branches" - if so, what are the differences? Have their constitutions changed? If so, how and why? How did the Community incorporate the spirit of Vatican II into their daily life and spirit? In what ways did they change? Did the habit change? Please explain why or why not: How do they manage the "corporate" life of the community? Do they exist purely on donations and benefactors? Do they have arrangements for the care of the elderly sisters? (I would ask to visit the "retired/elderly" sisters/nuns.) Do they send the elderly, sick or ill nuns to a nursing home? How do they "govern" the community? How is it organized? If the Foundress/Founder is living, is a council in place that has a voice? Do they have an Abbess/Prioress/Mother Superior for life? How and when are elections held and what is the process? Who is the Novice Mistress and what is her background? Has she had training outside of the community? Is your introduction to religious life an individual process (based upon your progress, temperment, educational background) or is there a specific formula/process that is more group-oriented? Do you see diversity in the community? Are they open to women based upon their call from Jesus or is there another criteria they consider? (Example: education level, color, age, country of origin, etc.) Would you have access to an outside Confessor/Spiritual Director not connected to the community? If you felt you needed therapy at some point, would they object or would that be seen as a "weakness" or problem? Are you "allowed" to have private (unrestricted) conversations/communication with family members and/or close friends? How often? If not, what restrictions are in place (as in...does the Novice Mistress read the mail and then decide whether or not to pass it along to you)? How do they handle "problems" within the community? (Anger, conflicts, etc.) How is intellectual growth stimulated and encouraged? Creative growth and/or expression stimulated and encouraged? How do they encourage and promote a healthy (physically) lifestyle? (Foods, exercise, etc.) How do they balance integration into a communal lifestyle while maintaining healthy personal space and privacy? Another way of asking is how do they create healthy interdependence with healthy independence? In addition to the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience, do they take another vow? If so, what it is? What is their understanding of the vows? (Some communities have a very different understanding of what it means to be obedient...as an example.) Do they incorporate any other sources into their lifestyle and/or formation that is not Roman Catholic? As an example, do they practice Zen Meditation, or host Inter-Faith Days of Prayer? If so, what are they? If it is a missionary order or a congregation that is international, could you be transferred to another country? Do you have a voice in where you might go? If not, how do you feel about being completely open to God's Will through the voice of the Superiors? If it is an Order/Congregation that has a specific ministry, how are the assignments given out? Are you involved in the process or choosing a location, or are you assigned where needed? Do they practice corporal penances? If so, what and how? In addition to their individual charism, do they follow a specific rule or hold special a particular spirituality? ("Sisters of Mary" might have Ignatian Spirituality) How do they interact with the community in which they live (as in neighborhood)? Are they in good standing? (One community we visited had been involved with a variety of lawsuits.) How do they actively live the corporal works of mercy? Especially serving the poor? Do they have a chaplain (if they are cloistered) on the grounds? (Sadly, some cloistered communities do not have access any longer to Daily Mass.) Do they offer hospitality to others? If you have a special talent or hobby (weaving, music, art, etc.) would it be encouraged and put to use or would you be asked to give it up as a sacrifice? Lastly, do you have any input into your name? Many communities allow the woman to submit three choices. What are some of the more recent novices names? Ask them to recommend any appropriate books or reading material that would be of help to better understand the charism, spirituality and work of the community under consideration. ==================================================== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divine Mercy 9999 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 That's what I'm looking for - Thank you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 amesome questions! Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divine Mercy 9999 Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 It is a pretty comprehensive list. I had a copy, but have no idea (have had a few computer issues) what happened to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (edited) This is a great list. I like it because for me it is a way of checking to see if I really know the community that I am discerning with. I thought of a couple of things to add (things I wished I had asked earlier on or did ask), these are more the "logistic" side of things but getting these things worked out early on can remover a ton of stress from the process. What is the best way to contact the community/VD (phone, email, letter etc)? If it is by phone when in general is the best time to call? Do they have a "formal" discernment process (ie short visit then a live in etc)? If so what is it? What is their "visitation" policy? Do you have set times for home visits? Can family come and visit you? If so are there particular days or is it more flexible? (Edited because I remembered something else and I can't spell.) Edited February 29, 2012 by TheresaThoma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 These are great questions TT. Some communities do have a process and want the young man/woman to spend a certain amount of time getting to know them (and vice versa) before they are willing to move to the next step. I think one of the questions to also add on there would be on continuing education. I know some communities encourage sisters to finish degrees before entering while other communities would encourage a young woman to enter say halfway through a degree but would work with the sister after entrance and allow her to continue and get her degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Here's a thought -- let's do a bit more brainstorming and then start a thread with the topic of 'Questions for use by those Discerning" or something like that. That way we'll be able to find it - you have NO idea how long it took me to find this list because it was buried in a thread with a TOTALLY different name.... just like this one. Maybe once it is closer to finished we could ask a mod to pin it... but let's be sure we haven't left off any questions. What do you think? Any more questions we should include? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Good idea on pinning this. Maybe we could also have a separate set of general discernment questions within the thread, not just ones you would ask a VD. I met with my priest and he gave me a couple of questions to ask myself when looking at different communities. Such as, what part of this community's charism really speaks to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Bumping this because I needed it again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictlyinkblot Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Good idea, there's so many things you wish you ask five minutes after leaving the parlour. Maybe it could go under discernment resources Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now