MonjaFutura Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I used to be very sure about my vocation. I'm 15, but since I was 12, I've felt called to become a nun. A lot of things have happened over the years that would suggest religious life as my vocation. This summer, I really wanted to know what GOD wants for me, because I didn't really know what I want in life. The next day, I walked into my church, and I was swept up in a wave of God's love for me. I knew that God is the only one who can love me like that, and that He wants me as His Bride. Then, a few months later, I realized that I have fallen in love with Christ. I told Him this and He said "Mary, I love you! I want you to be My Bride." That made me even more sure. But now, I just don't know. I started getting interested in guys and fell away a bit. I committed many mortal sins and rejected Jesus' love for that of a mortal guy. I don't know if I'm worthy of a vocation. Like maybe I've lost it...I feel attracted to religious life, and I feel like it's my vocation but I don't know how to distinguish between desires and God's Will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Monja! The fact that you are attracted to religious life means you should continue to discern it. However, because you are interested in guys shouldn't be a reason to think of yourself unworthy of a vocation. You mention that you have committed sin, realize that none of us are perfect and I'm sure if you asked many sisters, nuns or discerners they will tell you that they have sinned (some even gravely) What is important above all is the fact that you have remorse and have a resolve to sin no more. I do not know if you have a Spiritual Director but it would be very helpful to get one. I do not know what your schedule is like but do your best to spend as much time in prayer as possible. Realize that being attracted to Religious Life doesn't mean that you are turned off to marriage (at least it has not been in my case nor has it been for many sisters I've come across) If you feel that you must discern marriage, do so. It is better that you wisely and prayerfully look at whatever alternate path the Lord may be calling you to. Just focus on doing His will for you and growing closer to Him, trust Him to lead you to whatever vocation He is calling you to. I will include you in the list of discerning PMers on my intentions list. Pax! Hopeful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 First of all, welcome! We are all here to support each other as we discern where God's calling us. Next, everyone is a sinner, including those in religious life. None of us are worthy or righteous enough to deserve a religious vocation. Rather, a religious vocation is a gift He freely gives. If you do continue discernment with a particular religious community, it will probably be important to talk about major sins with the vocation director, but that's a ways away. If you haven't already, run to the graces available in confession. He loves you very much and desires deep union with you, no matter what. That starts today, and continues in the long run whether as a nun, a single person, or a wife/mother. But our sins do keep us from that union. Discernment always starts by growing closer to Jesus; it's impossible to know His will if we are keeping ourselves away from Him. We will be praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Welcome to the Pham! Lots of us here are teenagers discerning. There's me (Orders), FuturePriest387 (Orders and/or Religious), FutureCarmeliteClaire (Religious), and at least one other girl discerning religious life. I think there are others, but that's all I remember. It's a good place to be. Although your spelling will be affected [quote name='MonjaFutura' timestamp='1331409877' post='2398738'] I committed many mortal sins [/quote] The life of St. Augustine renders your fear unnecessary, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysisterisalittlesister Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 [quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1331415088' post='2398765'] Welcome to the Pham! Lots of us here are teenagers discerning. There's me (Orders), FuturePriest387 (Orders and/or Religious), FutureCarmeliteClaire (Religious), and at least one other girl discerning religious life. I think there are others, but that's all I remember. It's a good place to be. Although your spelling will be affected The life of St. Augustine renders your fear unnecessary, in my opinion. [/quote] Don't forget me!! I'm currently seriously discerning religious life. My sister is already a Little Sister of the Poor (http://www.littlesistersofthepoor.org/) and I feel strongly called to this order as well. If you really feel called, I say pursue it. I have found asking St Therese for roses to clarify a calling really helps, and it is a great way to grow closer to her. Religious life is a beautiful thing, and to be called is a wonderful gift! That being said, don't push married life away. That too, is a beautiful thing. Just my little two cents! But, I'm only 13, so my opinion is not exactly that of a theologian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byzantine Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) [quote name='mysisterisalittlesister' timestamp='1331416361' post='2398783'] Don't forget me!! [/quote] Sorry! Edited March 10, 2012 by Byzantine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysisterisalittlesister Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 [quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1331416533' post='2398786'] Sorry! [/quote] thats ok and i<3LSOP too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 There are a few sayings that might be of interest to you. One is 'You become like the company you keep.' and another is "If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas.' By these sayings, I don't mean that you should never be around those who sin (we all sin), but I do recommend avoiding spending a lot of time in the company of those whose life styles are not in accordance with the virtues, especially at your tender age. Sure, Jesus ate with sinners and we are all called not to judge one another, but we also need to remember that we are easily tempted and should not put God to the test by thinking that we can avoid sin while courting it at the same time. This means that you need to look at your peer group of friends and acquaintances and see if they are helping you to become more holy and to sanctify yourself, for love of Jesus. We all sin and we all fall down over and over again, but if being with members of the opposite sex at this time in your life leads you into occasions of mortal sin, I suggest never allowing yourself to be in situations where these kinds of temptations are easily available to you, especially as you say you are considering a possible religious vocation. That means avoiding being alone with a male you are strongly attracted to physically.And it means avoiding being with girls who think that sinful behaviour is acceptable and/or normal. Become like the company you keep - so keep holy company and become holy. If you want to stay open to the possibility of marriage as well, then perhaps you should try to do things in groups with other Catholics who are trying to stay chaste and holy - double dates or group activities. Any Catholic man who encourages you to sin with him is not worthy of your time and attention and certainly will not be a good candidate for marriage. And if religious life is a real possibility, then you certainly don't want to put yourself in situations that will lead you into sin. This is a beautiful time in your life and you should cherish and nourish your faith and your love for God through every means possible. Emulate our Blessed Mother by living in a chaste and holy way, whether you end up getting married or entering religious life. Prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feankie Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Welcome to the phorum! Okay, my 2 cents worth (I'm a wife, mother, grandmother, and someone who almost entered religious life - long story and you can find it on several other threads). It's fantastic you feel called to religious life this early in your life. Getting a spiritual director is a great thing, hanging out with others who have a similar spirituality is another great one. But....do take the time to be a teen! Enjoy these years, relish them, learn from them. Learn more about yourself, the world around you, your spirituality, your faith, your likes, dislikes, etc. Don't shut yourself off from normjal teenage experiences as they are catalysts for growth (both spiritual and temporal) and change. Examine your feelings, reactions, desires, etc. in light of Christ's love for you, and you for Him. It will help clarify what you are feeling, doing, saying.....all facets of your life. These things help us strengthen our faith, crystalize our vision, and aid in our discernment of our future. God bless you on your discernment journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Something I thought I would share. My priest once gave a talk on vocations to the RCIA group. He said that a Religious vocation (sister, nun, brother) is very much like the vocation to marriage, more so than it is to the priesthood. When he said that it made sense why so many of us girls struggle with discerning religious life vs marriage. I think often an element of what draws us to one is also present in the other. So if you feel attracted to guys that simply means you are normal. Whether you choose to act on that attraction is what makes the difference. Right now I would suggest pray and receive the Sacraments as often as possible. You have time, so just enjoy life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Welcome to the Phorum! Bienvenido! I myself am attracted to men which is nothing to be ashamed of. We are made naturally to be like that, and as for the mortal sins that you committed they should not hinder you from accepting God's call. St. Augustine is a perfect example of someone who put off God for so long because he enjoyed his worldy pleasures. And through the grace of God he became a saint! We will always fall into sin, but it is getting up, asking forgiveness, and starting anew that keeps us on the path of God. Do not be afraid to contact orders you feel called too. Feeling unworthy of this call is something everyone experiences (to my knowledge anyways) and it is completely natural to feel that way. But if God thinks you can handle it, I say go for it! Que dios te bendiga mi hermana en Cristo. IPC [size=2][font=georgia,serif]"Cuanto más amamos, más nos necesita sacrificio y cuanto más ardientemente desean"-Santa Teresa de Los Andes[/font][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictlyinkblot Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Welcome to Phatmass. As the others have said we all sin. I've done so many things in my life that I'm ashamed of but I've left them behind in the confessional. When I told a friend a few years ago that I was thinking of becoming a nun her response was 'You couldn't possibly be a nun, you like men and shopping too much. And you're cheeky.' I'm sure she meant it in a nice way. Just because we feel we are called to religious life doesn't mean we stop being attracted to others. It can be really hard to keep on track. I've been discerning on and off for about ten years (yeap, I'm a slow learner but I get there eventually). In that time I've fallen in love three times and each time I could have sworn it was the real thing. Could I make a suggestion? Give your vocation to Our Lady and ask her to keep you on track. You could be in no safer hands. And I found making a novena to St. Therese really helped me sort my head out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Welcome the Pham! I too am a young teen who feels called to this way of life. You see, I have very much had difficulty trying to figure out how God thinks I am worthy of this, if it be my calling. Recently, I have come to terms with myself and reasoned that God does not think I am worthy, because I am not, nor will I ever be. I am a huge sinner, and why would I be worthy of this? I strongly believe that the reason I feel God has called me is because of the beautiful life He has already given me. He has given me a life that I can never repay Him for. Because of this blessing, I believe that is the reason I am called to this life, that is, if it is my calling. "God gave Himself to you, give yourself to God." ~ Blessed Robert Southwell Prayers for you on your discernment journey. FCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen'sDaughter Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Everything that they said. It's all good stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuthorOfMyLife Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 God bless you, MonjaFutura! The other posters have given wonderful advice that I will not repeat. But I will say that you shouldn't forget your age. At 15, the hormonal systems are particularly developing (sorry if that is TMI) and so it is perfectly normal to be more interested in boys your age. It doesn't mean that, as you get older, you will not be able to follow a vocation. I will be praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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