Age Requirements

[emmaberry]

I have a question. If I feel like I am supposed to leave college and enter somewhere, and so many contemplative communities have a 21 and up age range, does that mean that I am not called to those communities by default because I am not 21 yet?

I am mainly confused because the Cistercian nuns in Wisconsin just sent me an email saying I could make a visit, but I am 19! I don't want to visit them, fall in love, and then they say, 'You are not old enough." Do any young discerners have advice about this? Or older people who entered young?

Thanks! (Happy month of Mary btw)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln1uMWZqo8k

Couldn't find a way to embed....trust me I would not give y'all a virus.

[beatitude]

Entrance takes time. It's not like you go on a visit and enter the next week - most people have a protracted time of getting to know the community better. Just because you are too young to enter doesn't mean that you are too young to visit and start talking to the sisters.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

An age requirement above your current age is not a sign that you are not called there. You should go visit the Cistercians (AMAZING ORDER). But my point is that if you fall in love with a religious order that you are not old enough to enter, you just have to wait! And maybe God will show you another order during that time or use you for some great thing. I am in love with a community right now, but God has opened other doors, and God-willing I will be visiting some other communities.

"Patience is adjusting your time to God's time." ~ Mother Angelica

[OnlySunshine]

Age requirements are always a tricky subject. You are either too young or too old or right in the middle. Too young maybe means that the community thinks you need a few years more of life experience before entering. Take the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, for instance -- their age requirement is 21 to 35 -- but they admitted a girl this past September who was 20. Now, perhaps she was going to turn 21 before they admitted her to the postulancy this past February, but it's just an example that not all age requirements are written in stone. It's just a good guideline to follow.

If you truly feel that God is calling you now and you can't get rid of the desire no matter what, sit down and talk to the Vocation Director or Novice Mistress and be honest with them. Obviously, don't start crying and saying "your age limit isn't fair!"

If they think you are ready in spite of the limit, they will probably give you a chance with the permission of the Superior. Just remember, God's time is NOT our own. Only He can truly decide when we are ready or not.

[Strictlyinkblot]

Did you tell them your age when you contacted them? All you can do is ask. Discernment with a particular community takes time. I can think of at least 3 communities I really liked but once I stepped back after visiting I found that I wasn't called to them. 'Come and see' as Our Lord says. Discernment is hard and painful but then isn't it worth it, to find the place where we belong? 'The pearl of great price'

[emmaberry]

Yes-when I originally contacted them I was 18!

Thank you so much for all the great advice--it can just be so hard to have faith and patience. And you're right, if the Cistercians did happen to be the community for me, then by the time I entered I would probably be pretty close to 21.

[InPersonaChriste]

My sister for example sent in a letter at 13. The sisters immediately wanted her to visit but then found out how old she was. But they impression she gave was much more mature than her age.

I was actually asked what university I went too on more than one occasion. We just talk like people with life experience i guess :D

[TheresaThoma]

For me it isn't exactly an age issue its been more of me being a convert. Most communities won't really start formal discernment with you until you have been a Catholic for at least 3 years. I've only officially been a Catholic for just over a year but I have considered myself Catholic for close to three years now. My "Catholic age" hasn't stopped me from discerning though and it can sometimes be frustrating. The responses I have received from communities have ranged from "we'd like you to wait a while before moving forward at all" to "come and visit!" For the communities that asked me to wait I "put them on the back burner" so to speak. I haven't ruled them out completely yet I have continued on with other communities that are open to it.
As far as being invited to go visit I think that would stem from the fact that they know it takes time to discern a vocation. You said yourself you would most likely be close to 21 before you could enter. Going on a visit with that attitude can make all the difference.

[Spem in alium]

I'm kind of in a similar situation - discerning while studying. Recently I was speaking with a priest, and he said that many orders like young entrants to have some life and work experience after they leave university. He encouraged me to conquer all my academic goals before I commit to vocation discernment. While that's kind of frustrating (because I'm spiritually passionate and really want to dedicate as much time as I can to this), I can understand why it would be of importance to prioritise like that.

As others have mentioned here, discernment does take time. There's no problem with contacting a community even if you're too young to enter. I'm 20, and most of the orders I'm interested in don't take women below 21. But it's still nice and helpful to get in contact with the sisters who interest you, learn more about them and grow closer to a decision with time.
I will be praying for you in this time of discernment.

[emmaberry]

spem in alium: thank you! Sounds like you have a wise priest. It is hard to be patient though...

[Gemma]

Respond to Him in your heart first and foremost. The cloister of the heart is of the utmost importance.

What attracts you to the Cistercians? Have you looked at the Trappistines?

Blessings,
Gemma