Help Byz Thread

[MIKolbe]

that's what cinched the marriage proposal....

[Jaime]

I would suggest getting to know her as best you can before asking her out. Find out where her favorite restaurants are and what her favorite foods might be. If you know she's heading to the mall, perhaps you could go too and discretely follow behind her for several hours! Keep a list of the places she goes to and especially of men that might have talked with her at the various stores. I find it to be a good idea to go back to those stores and mention that the girl he just spoke to has a very contagious disease (especially if the guy seems good looking).

Also maybe take a day and go over to her house when no one is home. Then you can adequately prepare for asking her out on the big first date! You can find all sorts of interesting information that can make that first date perfect by merely spending some time in her room! Also an unexpected present at an unexpected time can really make a difference! You don't have to spend a lot of money either!! A home made gift with some hair from her brush adds that personal touch that so many women love!! Once I made a small booklet of all the pictures I had taken of a girl I really liked then I framed some of the pictures with her own hair! She never knew I took the pictures and let me tell you she was SPEECHLESS when I gave it to her! We would have gone out on that first date but her family moved suddenly. Apparently some creep was stalking her family.

[sixpence]

Maybe get a coffee or some appetizers or something before the move? Its kinda hard to get to know someone during a movie... or maybe bowling! My boyfriend #2 first took me on a date to dinner and the second one was bowling.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1337703629' post='2433690']
I would suggest getting to know her as best you can before asking her out. Find out where her favorite restaurants are and what her favorite foods might be. If you know she's heading to the mall, perhaps you could go too and discretely follow behind her for several hours! Keep a list of the places she goes to and especially of men that might have talked with her at the various stores. I find it to be a good idea to go back to those stores and mention that the girl he just spoke to has a very contagious disease (especially if the guy seems good looking).

Also maybe take a day and go over to her house when no one is home. Then you can adequately prepare for asking her out on the big first date! You can find all sorts of interesting information that can make that first date perfect by merely spending some time in her room! Also an unexpected present at an unexpected time can really make a difference! You don't have to spend a lot of money either!! A home made gift with some hair from her brush adds that personal touch that so many women love!! Once I made a small booklet of all the pictures I had taken of a girl I really liked then I framed some of the pictures with her own hair! She never knew I took the pictures and let me tell you she was SPEECHLESS when I gave it to her! We would have gone out on that first date but her family moved suddenly. Apparently some creep was stalking her family.
[/quote]

As dUSt said, the real story here is that Jaime has a fiance.

[Papist]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1337684954' post='2433605']
How exciting! I remember when I asked Shea out for the first time. Thank goodness the charm and good looks worked!!
[/quote]

Yes. I hear Shea does have charm and good looks.

[Papist]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1337651806' post='2433441']
I want to ask out a girl and this is an exaggeration but pretty much communicates my point:

[img]http://anongallery.org/img/4/1/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-dog.jpg[/img]

So if anyone wants to chime in, the more detail, the better. And please don't let any of my non-Phatmass friends know this thread exists.
[/quote]

Arrange a group get together, such as a happy hour, game night or movie night. Once that is set up, simply invite her. If she declines, you still got a fun night to look forward to. If she accepts, chat her up. If it feels that you two have a connection, then ask her to go do something, sometime that is of a common interest to you both.

Edited May 22, 2012 by Papist

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Aw, that's so exciting for you!

Definitely everything Missy said. How old is this girl?

I think the movie is a good idea, sounds like a lot of fun. Depending on what time it is, it doesn't have to include dinner, maybe you guys could just get some ice cream or coffee or something?

[Anomaly]

[quote name='jaime' timestamp='1337703629' post='2433690']
I would suggest getting to know her as best you can before asking her out. Find out where her favorite restaurants are and what her favorite foods might be. If you know she's heading to the mall, perhaps you could go too and discretely follow behind her for several hours! Keep a list of the places she goes to and especially of men that might have talked with her at the various stores. I find it to be a good idea to go back to those stores and mention that the girl he just spoke to has a very contagious disease (especially if the guy seems good looking).

Also maybe take a day and go over to her house when no one is home. Then you can adequately prepare for asking her out on the big first date! You can find all sorts of interesting information that can make that first date perfect by merely spending some time in her room! Also an unexpected present at an unexpected time can really make a difference! You don't have to spend a lot of money either!! A home made gift with some hair from her brush adds that personal touch that so many women love!! Once I made a small booklet of all the pictures I had taken of a girl I really liked then I framed some of the pictures with her own hair! She never knew I took the pictures and let me tell you she was SPEECHLESS when I gave it to her! We would have gone out on that first date but her family moved suddenly. Apparently some creep was stalking her family.
[/quote]Thanks for the tears and the Coke Zero I just expelled through my nose.

Congrats on you getting her to rescind the restraining order and the subsequent engagement. I hope your marriage will be joyful, happy, and fufill [u]both[/u] your fantasies.

[Jaime]

[quote name='Anomaly' timestamp='1337706984' post='2433713']
Thanks for the tears and the Coke Zero I just expelled through my nose.

Congrats on you getting her to rescind the restraining order and the subsequent engagement. I hope your marriage will be joyful, happy, and fufill [u]both[/u] your fantasies.
[/quote]

Thank you sir! I sincerely appreciate the wishes!

[MissyP89]

OK, Byz. Let's see...

Yes, you should take her out 1-on-1 a few times before you ask her out. The idea is to start getting the message across that you'd like to be exclusive with her, so hanging out with just her is the place to start.

I understand the money situation, so no, you don't have to do dinner. I just suggested it because 1) it's a great time to talk and share good company, and 2) I just love food.

Movies are OK, but as others have suggested, you're not really deepening the friendship that way. It's best to do a movie and something else.

Before my boyfriend and I got together, we hung out in big group settings. Eventually, he started to ask me to spend time with him just the two of us, or he would eat dinner with me. That was when I started to wonder if he had feelings for me, because he was going out of his way to spend time with just me.

Then early last summer he came over and asked if I wanted to get ice cream. I didn't think anything of it ... until he paid for it. And that sent the message loud and clear that he was interested. Of course it also sent me into a secret panic, but that's another story.

How good do you think your chances are with her? You don't want to be too aggressive in your attempts to get her attention or it might intimidate her if she's not quite ready.

I have to wonder why it's not OK for her to come over, but I trust that this girl is a good person ... it's a bad sign if for some reason you don't feel right about letting your family meet her. But too, I know there are other reasons. I just wanted to make sure she's OK.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1337659086' post='2433549']
Don't sell yourself short
[/quote]

she is short.

[Slappo]

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1337661505' post='2433578']
Hm

You have a very pretty staff


[img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yWuLagY_B40/Sc1EzSVQQ8I/AAAAAAAABf8/alq4MZxxknE/s320/McDreamy_vs_McSteamy.jpg[/img]
[/quote]

You forgot Avery [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb3y9rVqX91qb84lwo1_500.jpg[/img]

[MissyP89]

[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1337708898' post='2433720']
she is short.
[/quote]

And you have bad hair.

[missionseeker]

Good thing for me that's something that will eventually change!



Stupid hair people.

[Vincent Vega]

Everything has a price.

[Vincent Vega]

Everything has a price.

[Byzantine]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1337708588' post='2433718']
How good do you think your chances are with her? You don't want to be too aggressive in your attempts to get her attention or it might intimidate her if she's not quite ready.

I have to wonder why it's not OK for her to come over, but I trust that this girl is a good person ... it's a bad sign if for some reason you don't feel right about letting your family meet her. But too, I know there are other reasons. I just wanted to make sure she's OK.

[color=#0000cd]It's mostly because I think there would be a very high chance of my autistic sister assuming that there's an imminent wedding or that we're boyfriend and girlfriend. And we haven't graduated high school yet. At the very least, it could be awkward. For character description, see below.[/color]
[/quote]


There is a reason I was thinking of asking her on our last day of classes in senior year and qualifying it with something like "I'm about to do something that might be really stupid. You have to promise that if it doesn't go well, you'll forget it ever happened..."

She's more grown-up than I am to the point that my best friend has called her "mom." I'm not quite sure how she actually feels toward me, but the feelings she expresses are always really warm and kind. I am about to write a senior letter to her beginning with the quote "preach the Gospel... when necessary, use words" and proceeding to tell her what a wonderful person she is. She'll read that on Friday and I have until Thursday to act.

She's a little over a year older than I but we're in the same grade. We're friends, but I'm not really in her inner circle. Her mom likes me (though I don't think she's thought of me as a suitor for her daughter), brother doesn't generally pass in my orbit, and father may or may not mind me (again, I don't think he's thought of me as a suitor for his daughter). Her best friend, who knows I like her (potentially a really bad idea to let her know, but I suppose also potentially good), I'm pretty good friends with.

I've regularly told liked girl that she's a wonderful person etc. (like, I suppose just as a friend might do because she really is) and she knows that she can basically get me to do whatever (morally acceptable, although the odds she'd ask me to do anything bad are, in my view, exceptionally slim) without even using an appeal to chivalry. It's more of a look coupled with some words on the theme of "you know I'm right and I've already won this argument." Main problem is I don't think I've ever seen her at an event that isn't school related. We can carry on a good conversation, though.

I'm hoping to ask for her best friend's input tomorrow as well as a trusted mentor of mine who's known her since she was a babe in arms. One of my friends told me to do it or he'd ask her for me (can you spell dishonor/shame?).

Thursday is probably the latest I can say anything. And here it's late on Tuesday night. She reads senior letter on Friday, which I will give even if rejected Thursday. Finals are next week in mornings. Neither of us is taking any, I think. Graduation practice is next Thursday. Graduation is Sunday the 3rd. Is now the time to be bold and/or stupid? Not like I have much to lose.

Thanks!

Edited May 23, 2012 by Byzantine

[Byzantine]

Those of you who were with me on the prom-blem thread... She was the preferred one and ended up deciding not to go with a date before I even spoke a word to her. At the time, I pretty much thought of her only as a friend. The feelings developed later.

[Byzantine]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1337725829' post='2433777']
Everything has a price.
[/quote]

So, having said that, would you recommend just giving it a shot?

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1337743821' post='2433882']
So, having said that, would you recommend just giving it a shot?
[/quote]
Yes. Though that was in jest (I am fairly certain, based on your description, that she does not peddle her wares for money, as it were), you only live once. Just ask her if she'd want to do something sometime. What's the worst that can happen?
[spoiler]Of course, I realize that that's easier said than done.[/spoiler]