InPersonaChriste Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 So, I have been having this problem. I cannot tell if I don't have a vocation, or if I am just in denial. I know all the beauty which comes from each vocation, yet I am not willing to make a decision. I feel like maybe I am being to hard on myself, pressuring myself to make a decision sooner than later. I might just be having a really bad couple of days, but lately I have started to give up. Please pray for me.
PhuturePriest Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 If you would like any feeble advice I may give, the Lord will show you the way. You must simply listen and do what you think he wants you to do. Relax and know you don't have to enter tomorrow or start looking for suitable marriage candidates immediately. If you're supposed to enter tomorrow you'll be informed in a dream or something. You'll know your vocation when God wants you to. In the meantime, be easy on yourself and relax. There's no hurry. I will pray for you.
emmaberry Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I am sorry you are feeling that way right now. Discerning is literally the hardest thing I think a lot of us will ever do--it is TOUGH! Praying for you!
maximillion Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 There is no need or reason to make any kind of decision right now. Watch and pray, He will reveal His will for you in the course of time. Prayers...........
Strictlyinkblot Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 I know exactly how you feel! I struggled for years with this. Prayers! And please, don't be too hard on yourself. Our Lord is a gentle God.
BarbTherese Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Yes, do be gentle and compassionate with yourself - as The Lord is gentle and compassionate with all of us. Don't put pressure on yourself to make a decision. Do you have a spiritual director?
organwerke Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 How old are you, if I may ask? My opinion is this: there is a sort of pressure when we have to make a decision, but usually there is a sense of peace when we have done it. I mean: when a person has found the right place there is a sense of peace and stability and of course it is better when it happens soon. So the only thing I can say is that I hope you'll be able to find your place soon so that you'll be happy, fulfilled and in peace!
Queen'sDaughter Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 It is interesting you say that IPC, because I raised that very question to Sister Scholastica. I told her that I didn't know if I had the virtue of persistance, or if I was simply pig-headily stubborn. She told me that the only person who could make that call was myself. So I decided that I would follow the path I was on until the door shut in my face. And it hasn't, and I am at peace with my decision. I cannot tell you whether or are in denial or if you have a vocation, and I cannot use my own experience as a guide, because God works for the individual. But I can tell that the most helpful thing for me to determine what I should do was to let all my prayer follow one theme: Let me do Your Will. This is the only thing I ask of God now for myself, because anything other than His Will will not make me happy. Ask Him everyday to give you the grace to follow His Will, and He will guide you. Maybe slowly and painfully, but His path will lead the most easily to Heaven.
i<3franciscans Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 Offering a rosary for you tonight! Place all your worries with Jesus, He will carry you through this hard time.
InPersonaChriste Posted June 1, 2012 Author Posted June 1, 2012 Barbara Therese, I do have a spiritual director, he has been with me since I was thirteen. This worry actually stems a bit from his guidance. He had told me that I must make a decision instead of pushing it to the side. This is good advice for me, but definitely hard advice. organwerke I am still very young in age. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers. It had been a pretty rough couple of days. I am still super worried about this and I know that God loves me.
PhuturePriest Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1338590625' post='2439682'] Barbara Therese, I do have a spiritual director, he has been with me since I was thirteen. This worry actually stems a bit from his guidance. He had told me that I must make a decision instead of pushing it to the side. This is good advice for me, but definitely hard advice. organwerke I am still very young in age. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers. It had been a pretty rough couple of days. I am still super worried about this and I know that God loves me. [/quote] Well, what first comes to my mind is to ask why you are so worried? This is of course a very big decision, but you will have seven to eight years before you say final vows. It's not as if you enter tomorrow and you're a Nun for life. The Nuns/Sisters will test you to see if you are able to live in their way of life and will see if you are truly called. I would recommend doing what I believe female communities call a "live-in", or, if you haven't even visited the community, make contact and see when you can. You cannot really discern from a computer screen or a nice booklet with some attractive pictures of the Monastery and a brief bit about their way of life and what they do. Perhaps you should ask the vocations director of the community what she thinks you should do? Despite what your spiritual director wants you to do, you can't follow his advice unless the superior gives you the O.K. anyway. Edited June 2, 2012 by FuturePriest387
Indwelling Trinity Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 The hardest thing in life is not to choose between goo and evil... The hardest is to choose between two goods. Take your time, listen and pray much and in your sleep your answer will come, as gently as the whisper of a gentle night breeze bringing you certitude, peace and an inexplicable joy. The all you need to do is say yes....
emmaberry Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 [quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1338603924' post='2439775'] [b]The hardest thing in life is not to choose between goo and evil... The hardest is to choose between two goods.[/b] Take your time, listen and pray much and in your sleep your answer will come, as gently as the whisper of a gentle night breeze bringing you certitude, peace and an inexplicable joy. The all you need to do is say yes.... [/quote] (emphasis mine) Wow! Great words right there. [u]InPersonaeChristi:[/u] I came across a good Ignatian rule of discernment--whatever you do, DO NOT make any decisions in the shadow of despair. Wait until these dark feelings have lifted to make any important choices, and remember that this confusion is only for a time. I know I replied to this thread previously, but I wanted to pass on this advice I just heard.
Spem in alium Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 Prayers for you. Do not give up. There seems to be a general human desire to make decisions quickly and to know where we are going in life as soon as possible. With a vocation, we can't rush. There is no time limit or deadline by which you need to have made a decision - in fact, I think vocations should take extra time and thought than most other things Live each day in patience, faith, hope and trust. Let the Lord enter your heart and guide your life. Take each moment just as it comes, full of joy and readiness for any consequence or change. In the beginning stage of my discerment, I was lost and feeling similar things to those you describe. I started to begin each day by telling the Lord that I am His servant, and asking Him to do with me what He wills. This really helped me, because it made me realise that as much as I wanted to, I couldn't control or instantly decide this. You may also find it beneficial. May the Lord bless you in this time.
Because I love Him Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Hi! So I am more of a lurker here but I thought I would reply to this one. The point of religious life is to love, it is to love the whole world through Christ and by imatating Him. Do you want to be married for the sake of being married, or do you want to marry because you want to love? Do you want to be a nun for the sake of being a nun, or to love? Also, don't worry about over romanticizing what it is like to be a nun, it can happen and you should procide with caution but the happy things are more often than not a sign of vocation. Think of your self on your death bed as well, would you rather die a nun or a wife? What would make you happiest? Because ultimately that is what will make Jesus happiest. And finally, in Gods time. He will make it known to you what he wants when he thinks it is right. Live your life day to day looking for the smallest hints in either directions and when he wants it known to you, he will make it known. Hope it helps!!! And good luck :D
Briananne Posted June 4, 2012 Posted June 4, 2012 + M Making a decision can be tricky, I agree! But know that just because you make a decision to enter a community you are not pressured into staying. I know of many nuns who have been in a different community than they are in now. So do not fear about making the wrong decision. He has been guiding you.. and still is guiding you. (: Trust in Him. Once you are a nun you will look back and see that He was there all along, but sometimes it may be hard with the devil trying to distract us and overwhelm us with questions or doubts. Know that you are not the only one who gets these times in their discernment.. I have been through many times of doubt, discouragement, fear.. and I am sure there are many discerning here that have been through the same. If my advice helps, I would say to have fun in your discernment. Don't worry to much on if you are called or not. Visit different communities and experience the life. In time God will make it very clear to you what He wants of you. Be patient
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