LinaSt.Cecilia2772 Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 So I woke up this morning and I felt like I needed to go to mass. There is a church walking distance from my house, and I go there a lot for daily masses. So I went, and during communion I saw that there was a sister there, and I knew she had to be a DSMME because of her habit. Before I saw her, it was just a regular mass that I would go to, but after I saw her, I felt a weird calling/nervous/curiosity/guilty/scared feeling that wouldn't go away. I wanted to talk to her, ask questions and hope that I would get some answers that weren't scary. I didn't get to talk to her, but I wanted to really badly. Everytime a sister vocation topic comes up, or anything really that reminds me of being a sister I freak out and get really nervous. I don't know why, and it worries me because I want to be open to His will, but I don't know how NOT to be scared. I feel guilt sometimes too because if I am called to be a sister, right now I feel like I'm not worthy. I don't know, I guess I just needed to vent to vocational people. Any thoughts or advice would be helpful. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaberry Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 (edited) From your own sig: "When the devil tries to tempt you, just tell him to go to hell." Seriously, I can identify with your feelings of unworthiness. But, to me as an outsider, that makes it seem like you are the right person for a religious vocation! Let me explain: St Francis was never ordained because he did not feel worthy of the dignity of the priesthood. Most people's reaction to this is: but because of his humility, St Francis would have been one of the best priests!!! I feel the same way towards your situation. Unless you have a serious obstacle to the religious life in your present state (not being catholic, dependent children, etc) then your humility in rightly deeming yourself unworthy seems to be an indicator that you are the right gal for that state! By unworthy, I only mean that none of us is worthy to be Christ's bride (except Mary )...it is such a gift! Edited June 3, 2012 by emmaberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 You know, during Papal elections, after a new Pope is elected he goes to this room where he clothes himself in the Papal garments, and this room is known as the Room of Tears (Or something similar) because just about everyone that walks in there cries in despair. Do you know why? Because these men do not feel worthy, and they feel as if there could've been so many good candidates that could have been elected in their stead. Pope John Paul I once asked his secretary "Why? Why me?". His secretary replied "The Holy Spirit always knows what he is doing." "No, I know that." he said. "But why me? Why not Karol Wojtyla? He was sitting right behind me." He doubted why the Holy Spirit chose him, but the Holy Spirit knows what He is doing. Once I told a Franciscan Friar that I didn't feel as if I was worthy, but he told me the most wonderful vocational advice I was ever given: "We don't enter the consecrated life because we are worthy. We enter because we hear Jesus say, "Come. Follow me."" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 (edited) Feeling unworthy is a good realization because Religious Life and the priesthood is not about us but about Him. I too have felt unworthy in the beginning of my discernment however I came to realize it's not about anything but the fact that the Lord chose me for this wonderful life. If you look at the apostle Paul one would say he definitely was not worthy, he was a murder of Christians!!! Prayers for you. Edited June 3, 2012 by HopefulBride Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 We are all unworthy - that is part of our human condition and what He died on the cross to redeem us from. Hardly surprising that you feel that unworthiness. However, I will also add that it is not about feelings....feelings are never a reliable guide to action or inaction. Acceptance of our unworthy state and acceptance of His redeeming love are an excellent basis from which to discern, IMO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 (edited) This come from my diocesan website on vocations. The section is about how one may experience discerning: [quote] A feeling that you are not worthy to be a consecrated person. This might seem like a paradox, but it can be true. Sometimes someone may have a deep feeling that the consecrated life is too much of an ideal for them, that they are not worthy, or not good enough, or not capable enough. These feelings can be a sign of humility, an indication that someone has a healthy sense of their own limitations, and a high sense of the dignity of this calling. The feeling of unworthiness may, strangely, be a sign that someone has a true appreciation for what this vocation means, and that they will be open to asking for God’s help and the help of the Church. It would be worrying if someone thought any kind of Christian commitment was easy; or if they thought they could achieve it through their own efforts. [/quote] Fear is natural. Religious life is a radical change from what we experience in our lives now and we are naturally afraid of change. When I was at St. Cecilia's and first felt God was calling me to enter there, I was petrified. Being scared doesn't mean we are not being open to God's will: it means that we are human. It become a problem only when we let our fears control us, rather than pushing forwards in spite of them. Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith despite our fears and trust that God knows what He's doing! Edited June 3, 2012 by EmilyAnn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 You have been given some wonderful advice. What you feel is shared by many others. Trust that anything you experience - any fear, doubt, sadness, unworthiness - is not isolated and specific to you. You are not alone. Even our Blessed Mother felt unworthy and fearful. Pray and trust in the Lord. I will keep you in my intentions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinaSt.Cecilia2772 Posted June 3, 2012 Author Share Posted June 3, 2012 Do any of you think I was meant to see that sister? That morning I woke up with the feeling that I should go to mass, and I didn't think I would see someone that significant there. I didn't even see the sister until communion. Was I meant to see her, as a sign or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 [quote name='LinaSt.Cecilia2772' timestamp='1338750214' post='2440277'] Do any of you think I was meant to see that sister? That morning I woke up with the feeling that I should go to mass, and I didn't think I would see someone that significant there. I didn't even see the sister until communion. Was I meant to see her, as a sign or something? [/quote] Perhaps. It definitely would have been a good idea to speak with her, if nothing else. I wouldn't beat yourself up for not speaking with her, though. But I would say that if you got another opportunity go ahead and speak with her. She probably has better advice about feeling unworthy than any one of us has (Except for those that are Religious, of course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinaSt.Cecilia2772 Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Well i tried to talk to her, but she was with a group of women and I didn't want to disturb them. The parish I attended just got a new associate pastor who is a Dominican, so it would make sense that a Dominican sister would be there. I just wish that I would stop being scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 [quote name='LinaSt.Cecilia2772' timestamp='1338768918' post='2440376'] Well i tried to talk to her, but she was with a group of women and I didn't want to disturb them. The parish I attended just got a new associate pastor who is a Dominican, so it would make sense that a Dominican sister would be there. I just wish that I would stop being scared. [/quote] There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Being brave is not doing something when the feeling of fear is absent, it's acting in the face of fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 What is it you are scared of, and what evidence have you that this is a potentially dangerous situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinaSt.Cecilia2772 Posted June 6, 2012 Author Share Posted June 6, 2012 [quote name='maximillion' timestamp='1338800172' post='2440483'] What is it you are scared of, and what evidence have you that this is a potentially dangerous situation? [/quote] I wouldn't say it's a dangerous situation, but one that a lot of people (including myself) wouldn't have ever thought for me. I'm scared of why these feelings are coming up in me, why I should or shouldn't discern, why it's so easy to mistake the signs and the calling, why I should start thinking about religious life instead of marriage or vice versa. It's the confusion i'm scared of, and the unworthiness I feel over things in my life that I have and haven't done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 [quote][color=#282828]I wouldn't say it's a dangerous situation, but one that a lot of people (including myself) wouldn't have ever thought for me. I'm scared of why these feelings are coming up in me, why I should or shouldn't discern, why it's so easy to mistake the signs and the calling, why I should start thinking about religious life instead of marriage or vice versa. It's the confusion i'm scared of, and the unworthiness I feel over things in my life that I have and haven't done. [/color][/quote] If it is any comfort at all I think most of those discerning or who have ever discerned feel exactly the same way. I know I did. Should I, ought I, can I? The doubts are understandable and natural but don't let them be your guide to action or inaction. Accept that they are there, that they will be around, pray, put your faith in Him, and search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 [quote name='LinaSt.Cecilia2772' timestamp='1338695653' post='2440130'] So I woke up this morning and I felt like I needed to go to mass. There is a church walking distance from my house, and I go there a lot for daily masses. So I went, and during communion I saw that there was a sister there, and I knew she had to be a DSMME because of her habit. Before I saw her, it was just a regular mass that I would go to, but after I saw her, I felt a weird calling/nervous/curiosity/guilty/scared feeling that wouldn't go away. I wanted to talk to her, ask questions and hope that I would get some answers that weren't scary. I didn't get to talk to her, but I wanted to really badly. Everytime a sister vocation topic comes up, or anything really that reminds me of being a sister I freak out and get really nervous. I don't know why, and it worries me because I want to be open to His will, but I don't know how NOT to be scared. I feel guilt sometimes too because if I am called to be a sister, right now I feel like I'm not worthy. I don't know, I guess I just needed to vent to vocational people. Any thoughts or advice would be helpful. Thanks. [/quote] a lot of people (if not everyone) who has a calling goes through these feelings! I did! The key in surrendering to God's grace and realizing that no one who is called is ever worthy of any of Gods Gifts but God is LOVE and MERCY its self. So, God wants us to be in heaven with him and create us ( designs our vocations) in a way that will be most effective in getting us there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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