Spiritual Directors.

[Spem in alium]

Hi guys. So I know I post often... but I'm a bit lost and need to get some advice on something.

To keep it brief: I would love to get a Spiritual Director, but is there much point in getting one now if I'm soon going to be leaving my country for at least four months? And if so, who would be the best person to speak to?

Edited July 2, 2012 by Spem in alium

[PhuturePriest]

You can get a spiritual director even if you are going to be leaving the country soon. You can get sound advice for your spiritual life and discernment even in a tight time schedule.

The way to find one is to ask a Priest if he had the time or if he knew someone else that did. Explain to him that you are leaving soon and I doubt anyone will care. Getting a spiritual director is one of the best ideas I ever had and I am sure you will not regret it. The only problem is getting attached and having to leave. Spiritual directors become great friends even in a short amount of time and I can imagine having a hard time trying to move away from mine.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1341195830' post='2451347']
You can get a spiritual director even if you are going to be leaving the country soon. You can get sound advice for your spiritual life and discernment even in a tight time schedule.

The way to find one is to ask a Priest if he had the time or if he knew someone else that did. Explain to him that you are leaving soon and I doubt anyone will care. Getting a spiritual director is one of the best ideas I ever had and I am sure you will not regret it. The only problem is getting attached and having to leave. Spiritual directors become great friends even in a short amount of time and I can imagine having a hard time trying to move away from mine.
[/quote]

Thanks I know that it would help me so much, as I just feel so lost and have practically no one in my life who would understand or want to listen to how I feel. I'm suffering a bit for it - I know things could be much easier if I just had guidance and a listening ear.
I'm thinking of asking one or both of the priests at my church. I don't know them as well as I know other priests, but they're both lovely, local and have obviously been through their own experiences with discernment. I think my main problem is that the feelings I have are just pushing me to do so much and to rush, when I know I need to be taking things slowly and maturely.

My only real concern with getting a director now is that I'll start with them and then go through a tough time leaving. But I guess I'll never know what will happen if I never try.

[somethingfishy]

If it turns out to be a really good fit between you and the director, you can always pursue spiritual direction once you've left the country over Skype or by letter (though I'd recommend the former).

Hope it goes well for you.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='somethingfishy' timestamp='1341204626' post='2451388']
If it turns out to be a really good fit between you and the director, you can always pursue spiritual direction once you've left the country over Skype or by letter (though I'd recommend the former).

Hope it goes well for you.
[/quote]

Thank you. That's a great suggestion! I'd never considered it

I checked out the website for the national Vocations Centre here. They recommend a very detailed discernment process, with a lot of Scripture reading, journal writing, contemplation etc. I think I'll try some of it in the hope of better knowing myself, and then seek out some direction. But I'm glad to know that arranging something now is not a silly idea

[AveMariaPurissima]

Are letters, phone calls, or e-mails a possibility for further communication? I know that being able to talk face to face is preferable, but the other options are better than nothing. My SD lives in another state, and since he doesn't have a phone or computer, he and I write letters. We pretty much only get to talk when he's in town for his annual home visit (he has family that lives around here.). It's not a perfect arrangement, but better than nothing!

[Kylie Spinelli]

This topic has actually been on my mind a lot... I've been discerning religious life for about 9 months... Do you think I should ask around for one, or should I wait a bit longer into my discernment??
Thanks and God Bless!

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='AveMariaPurissima' timestamp='1341262912' post='2451598']
Are letters, phone calls, or e-mails a possibility for further communication? I know that being able to talk face to face is preferable, but the other options are better than nothing. My SD lives in another state, and since he doesn't have a phone or computer, he and I write letters. We pretty much only get to talk when he's in town for his annual home visit (he has family that lives around here.). It's not a perfect arrangement, but better than nothing!
[/quote]

Thank you; those kinds of communication would be good for me, I think. I've not yet organised a director as I'm still sorting out a few things. But emailing and letter-writing could work very well.

[quote name='Kylie Spinelli' timestamp='1341368340' post='2452208']
This topic has actually been on my mind a lot... I've been discerning religious life for about 9 months... Do you think I should ask around for one, or should I wait a bit longer into my discernment??
Thanks and God Bless!
[/quote]

Personally, I'd say that it would be a good idea. But hey, I'm veeeeery new when it comes to discernment, so really don't have much of an idea

[Kayte Postle]

[quote name='Kylie Spinelli' timestamp='1341368340' post='2452208']
This topic has actually been on my mind a lot... I've been discerning religious life for about 9 months... Do you think I should ask around for one, or should I wait a bit longer into my discernment??
Thanks and God Bless!
[/quote]

I think a SD i something that everyone could benefit from, discerning or not. We have a SD that comes in once a month at school, and probably 90% of the girls she sees aren't discerning. It might take some time to find one, so I would start asking around now.

[Spem in alium]

I found a couple of websites that put you in contact with spiritual directors. They look very useful, so I might try them. Kylie, the same sort of thing may work for you. I've started journalling and writing some prayers, and that's helped me lots too.

[Kylie Spinelli]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1341439271' post='2452397']
I found a couple of websites that put you in contact with spiritual directors. They look very useful, so I might try them. Kylie, the same sort of thing may work for you. I've started journalling and writing some prayers, and that's helped me lots too.
[/quote]

Okay. I actually talk with my youth minister a lot, but I feel like I'm annoying him since he's not [i]actually[/i] my SD... so maybe next time I stop in to see him, I can ask him if he knows anyone or where I can find one...
Thanks and God Bless!

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Kylie Spinelli' timestamp='1341526287' post='2452650']
Okay. I actually talk with my youth minister a lot, but I feel like I'm annoying him since he's not [i]actually[/i] my SD... so maybe next time I stop in to see him, I can ask him if he knows anyone or where I can find one...
Thanks and God Bless!
[/quote]

No worries, blessings to you as well Speaking with your minister would be a good start. You never know, he may just encourage you to keep coming to him!

[Annie12]

Is a spiritual director necessary for dicernment?

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1341543742' post='2452742']
Is a spiritual director necessary for dicernment?
[/quote]

That's actually another question I have. Personally, I do feel a bit lost so can see the great benefit in receiving such direction, but am unsure as to whether it is necessary. Having a director would probably make discernment much more easy and fruitful.

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1341543742' post='2452742']
Is a spiritual director necessary for dicernment?
[/quote]

I think the answer to that would be "yes" and "no".... while you can discern without a spiritual director, it is more than beneficial to have one. I guess you could say that it could be likened to being in the middle of the forest: if you have a map (which everyone has with the Word of God, and the teachings of the Church) and a compass (prayer) you can find your way home! But your trip is much more secure when you have a real live guide walking you through the steps.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Kylie Spinelli' timestamp='1341368340' post='2452208']
This topic has actually been on my mind a lot... I've been discerning religious life for about 9 months... Do you think I should ask around for one, or should I wait a bit longer into my discernment??
Thanks and God Bless!
[/quote]

It is NEVER too early to get a spiritual director. They are invaluable to your discernment and finding a good one is like finding gold. There are so few priests that are experienced or that have the time, so you may have to ask around a bit. If you are in college and you have a Newman Center, that is a good place to start. Otherwise, I'd begin with asking your parish priest(s). You can also ask a Sister or Brother religious to help you. There are some lay people who have received certification for spiritual direction. Personally, I think having someone who is a member of clergy or religious life is the best idea because they've been there and done that.

I had a spiritual director for a short period of time from January 2009 to July 2009. He also doubled as my regular confessor and we met every 2 to 4 weeks depending on his schedule. He also assisted me when I needed a reference letter for when I was planning to work with the community I was discerning in their apostolate. Unfortunately, I did not feel that I benefited very much from our meetings. I liked being able to have regular Confession, but that was all I was gaining from it. He was not experienced in spiritual direction and it was apparent that his pastoral duties were causing problems with our meetings because he was so busy. I eventually broke of our relationship, but I still maintain friendship with him and see him from time to time. I haven't found a spiritual director since. My Catholic therapist is unofficially playing the role, but I wish my pastor was able to give me direction. He has offered to help as much as he can. Fortunately, I just found out that we are getting a deacon soon, so that may give me a better opportunity.

Anyway, I would recommend that you read [i][url="http://www.amazon.com/Seeking-Spiritual-Direction-Divine-Within/dp/0892838108"]Seeking Spiritual Direction[/url][/i] by Fr. Thomas Dubay. It gives you an idea of what to look for and who to ask.