Annie12 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Ive been having trouble with feeling attraccted to guys lately even though I'm 99.99999999999% sure I have a vocation to religious life (ie I'm still discerning.) Is this okay? I feel like a traitor for this! I gave my heart to Christ so I wish I could suppress these silly feelings! Please help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 It is normal to be attracted to the opposite sex. Because a person is called to religious life doesn't mean those feelings just shut off. They are just redirected and intensified for the Lord. I would encourage you to "And You Are Christ's" By Fr. Dubay. http://www.amazon.com/You-are-Christs-Thomas-Dubay/dp/0898701619 He gives a great insight of this great grace and mystery is of celibacy. By far the best work I have read on this issue. But don't stress, you aren't a traitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 That makes two of us! Especially when you find a seemingly chivalrous and holy guy. I can't offer you much more advice then that you're NOT a traitor, these feelings are normal, don't close out your options, I'm praying for you, don't beat yourself up, these feelings only mean that you're a human and have the capacity to love, and we're all in this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Monster Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 That makes three of us....even though I am still not sure if Religious life is for me....I am a baby discerner. But guys are attractive...jus sayin Especially Catholic guys.....hawt and holy.......gets me everytime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Attraction -- physical or emotional -- is 110% normal, even for someone with a vocation. Remember that in a lot of ways, biology is the reason why you feel attraction. God made us to give ourselves to each other, and He gave us the desires we have to help make that happen. Remember, too, that religious life (or celibacy in general) is considered a higher calling [i]because [/i]it asks you to surrender that aspect of your life to God. It doesn't mean you're never going to feel butterflies over a guy ever again ... honestly, you will probably deal with that forever! And that's OK, really and truly. There's a big difference between feeling attraction or a tugging in your heart and feeling the desire to use and take advantage of a guy because of his body. Be at peace. You don't need to worry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 It's absolutely normal to feel this way. Wanting security and love from one person for the rest of your life is a 100% natural human vocation. The vocation to religious life is a [i]supernatural[/i] vocation from God to those whom He chooses. I was reading a really beautiful story about the vows a religious takes yesterday and a new novice explained about her natural attraction to a kind, Christian man and she was worried that meant she wasn't called to religious life: [url="http://www.vocationnetwork.org/articles/show/30/"]A new Sister looks at the vows[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 As others have said, these feelings are totally understandable and natural. So long as they are not acted upon, then you have nothing to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted July 16, 2012 Author Share Posted July 16, 2012 I don't have a huge issue with this but yesterday... it was WEIRD. Like, At church and then when I was watching music videos at home. It was the weirdest thing ever because I don't ever feel "boy crazy" but yesterday was freaky. It kinda scared me to be honest! I wonder if it was meant to be a trial? I did gain a deeper since of the vow of chastity though it. Hmmm.... I feel like it will happen more often when I go off to college. OH BOY! (no pun intended) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 A Sister of Christian Charity once told me that if someone DIDN'T feel attracted to someone romantically than that was a bad sign and not at all normal. Teenagers feel tons of attractions because of hormones and puberty, and completely natural things that God created! Now if you start to struggle with lustful thoughts, then it's time to talk to a priest, trusted religious, or spiritual director. It helps me to remember to find God in everyone--to make sure I recognize the face of God and then put my thoughts in check. If you don't already have a spiritual director, I recommend you try to find one. They can help way more than we can, and they are trained to help with such things. Paix! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NonNovi Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 It's completely normal, Annie. As you see, we all experience this. I think it would be weird if you suddenly stopped having those feelings. But suppressing them is not good. You have to accept you can be attracted (even if you have a vocation) and then "bend" those feelings in another way. Like St.-Augustine said, if you are too attracted to someone physically, first thank God for creating such a beauty. Always try to think about God first. When lustful thoughts appear when you see a handsome person, you should try to have some short prayers in mind to distract you. Ask Our Lady to help you. What I usually use to avoid lustful feelings when I see a pretty girl is this little prayer: "By your immaculate conception, oh Mary, purify my body and sanctify my soul!" (don't know if the translation is correct, but I think you get what it is about). And then you can add a Hail Mary and repeat this until the feeling is gone. And when we are not speaking of possible feelings of lust, when you just meet someone you really like, you can try to "bless" them and thank God for such a wonderful person (something like: May God bless you, save you from all evil and guide you to the eternal life). Do this in your head, otherwise the other one will think you're crazy These things have helped me a lot with how to deal with attraction to the opposite sex. It's just a matter of keeping God in mind. With prayers you let the temporaly feelings pass by and get a whole new view on other people. I use that last one also with people I really don't like, just to correct my thoughts. We are all children of God and it's not up to me to judge. See every attraction as a test. If one boy "survives" all the tests, if God is still number one but He doesn't exclude the boy, then you might have a different vocation. But give this a lot of time, it's like a religious vocation. Years may pass by, but a real vocation stays, and so will that boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 Good points! I want to clarify though, that this isn't about lustful thoughts. I just felt like I was going crazy! Ha ha! I have the butterflies like normal females but wow, the other day scared me! lol! I just didn't understand what was happening! I was wondering if God was trying to point me somewhere else or if he was sending me a trial. But I appreciate all of the advice! I understand it all a lot better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) [quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1342458612' post='2456094'] A Sister of Christian Charity once told me that if someone DIDN'T feel attracted to someone romantically than that was a bad sign and not at all normal. Teenagers feel tons of attractions because of hormones and puberty, and completely natural things that God created! Now if you start to struggle with lustful thoughts, then it's time to talk to a priest, trusted religious, or spiritual director. It helps me to remember to find God in everyone--to make sure I recognize the face of God and then put my thoughts in check. If you don't already have a spiritual director, I recommend you try to find one. They can help way more than we can, and they are trained to help with such things. Paix! [/quote] This is very true! The Vocation Director of the RSMs of Alma told another girl that I was on the retreat with that every girl that is interested in religious life should have a natural attraction to marriage otherwise how will they ever cope with spiritual marriage which is twice as hard as natural marriage? The girl she spoke to was very new to discernment so she took offense to it, believing it to mean that Sister said she didn't have a vocation when the girl said that she absolutely didn't feel called to be married to a human man. I had to explain it to her. [i]God calls only a few to embrace a life of consecrated, celibate love for the Kingdom. He does this so that those who are in the world can be continually reminded of where we are going, that heaven is our true homeland. Because it is a supernatural vocation, the Church upholds the great dignity that Religious Life and Priesthood is. Because marriage is a natural vocation, it is upheld with the great sacramental dignity in the Church, it will be the way of salvation and sanctification for most of the Church. The vocations of Religious Life and Priesthood compliment the vocation of Marriage. God wants both to be present in the Church; our task is to fulfill His call for us personally.[/i] "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; [b]and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven[/b]. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."--Matthew 19:12 BTW, the bolded part is a metaphor for celibacy, not making oneself sterile. Edited July 17, 2012 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1342490632' post='2456256'] "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; [b]and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven[/b]. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."--Matthew 19:12 [color=#ff0000]BTW, the bolded part is a metaphor for celibacy, not making oneself sterile.[/color] [/quote] Edited July 17, 2012 by Annie12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 [quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1342491710' post='2456260'] [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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