How Can I Know?

[LittleWaySoul]

Okay, so recently I've felt very strongly called to religious life, but everyone around me is telling me to think about it more deeply and figure out what God truly wants.

So my question is... how can I know whether this is what He's calling me to?

Also...

How do I know which order is right for me?

And,

What should I be doing in my life right now to help myself discern better?

I appreciate all input! Thank you!

[Annie12]

I second this question! I really want to know this too.

[Queen'sDaughter]

Keep in mind that discernment is very personal, so what is true for one person may not be for the next. And what I say should be taken as general advice, not some formula for becoming a nun!

With that disclaimer in place, here goes!

First question: Pray, pray, pray! And then pray some more. If after hours of prayer the attraction is still there and desire still in your heart, start looking for orders. And keep in mind that one way to know God's Will is to start on a path and see what happens. If doors open every step to your goal, than likely that is what God wants! But be careful. Don't ignore any promptings, and don't "force" things to happen. For me personally, I didn't start researching seriously until I had prayed about it for a month. Then I went on a discernment retreat with the local sisters. They weren't right for me, but the retreat pointed me in the right direction.

Which comes to the second question. Go on discernment retreats! Talk to the vocation's director. Research orders online. A good rule of thumb that I once came across was to find the 3 convents you feel most attracted to and visit them, but not anymore, at least not right away. It only took me two visits to find the right one. Initially, I strongly resisted the thought that I could be called to an order as penitential as the Benedictines of Mary are. But the thought of them never went away, so I visited and fell in love. I cried the day I left! Now the thought of the perpetual fast is not as frightening, since I was able to do it while I visited.

Third question: See first answer. Prayer, especially before the Blessed Sacrament.. Set a schedule, or at least have things you do daily such as the rosary, spiritual reading, and sacred scripture. My SD set me some spiritual reading that I do daily, and I read the psalms, some old testament, and new testament. I have found this very helpful in learning how to do Lectio Divina. I have also found the structured meditation of Saint Francis de Sales very helpful as well.

Hope this helps!

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1342636720' post='2456809']
Okay, so recently I've felt very strongly called to religious life, but everyone around me is telling me to think about it more deeply and figure out what God truly wants.

So my question is... how can I know whether this is what He's calling me to?[/quote]
Pray

[quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1342636720' post='2456809']Also...

How do I know which order is right for me?[/quote]
Pray

[quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1342636720' post='2456809']And,

What should I be doing in my life right now to help myself discern better?

I appreciate all input! Thank you!
[/quote]
Pray

But seriously, pray about it...a lot. I did research at the beginning of my discernment--partly cause that's just what I do and partly cause I was 13 and couldn't really do much more than pray and research. If you find yourself overwhelmed by all the stuff that's out there, stop, that's not helpful.

The internet gives us access to communities across the globe. I would advise you to look locally first. That way you're not overwhelmed by the sheer number of communties and it gives you a place to start. After visiting a community halfway across the country, I'm discerning with one in my own diocese, so personal experience leads me to say that as well. When you find the right community, you'll know, you'll just know, so there's no need to worry too much about it.

Your last question is something I think most of us ask ourselves all the time, and I don't pretend to know the whole answer. Pray, grow in your spiritual life and relationship with God, you may want to get a spiritual director at some point. Can you get to daily Mass? Pray the Divine Office. I would love to hear what others have to say about this question.

[BigJon16]

[quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1342636720' post='2456809']
Okay, so recently I've felt very strongly called to religious life, but everyone around me is telling me to think about it more deeply and figure out what God truly wants.

So my question is... how can I know whether this is what He's calling me to?
[/quote]

He will let it be known to you. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year, but He will make it known.



Keep your eyes (and heart) open. Sometimes people will confirm the vocation. Its almost like they will know that you are thinking about it and will ask. They will either encourage it, or not. Some will offer advice, some will just say things like "I can see you as a sister!" Be wary of those that discourage it and don't immediately jump to conclusions when they do. Same goes for people who encourage it.

[quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1342636720' post='2456809']
How do I know which order is right for me?
[/quote]

You have to feel them out. It starts with a quick Google search or something. Look into orders in your area or ones that seem attractive to you. There might be a certain one you already have your eyes on. Call them, talk to their Vocations Director. Tell them that there is a possibility that God might be calling you to join them. They will be more than willing to help.

Pray about this too. God opens doors and will show you to which order He knows you will be happiest in.


[quote name='LittleWaySoul' timestamp='1342636720' post='2456809']
What should I be doing in my life right now to help myself discern better?
[/quote]

1. Pray. Pray and ask for God to show you His desire in your own heart. Ask for the intersession of the saints, especially the great Religious ones. (St. Clare of Assisi, St Therese of Lisieux, St Theresa of Avila, St Rita) They've "been there, done that" so to speak, and will really help you.

2. Be not afraid. Don't let anyone get in the way of what God's will is for you.

3.Find a spiritual director. (some one who can offer you more specific and personal advice, as well as help you to discern) Your local parish priest would love to help you, or if you know of any Religious Sisters that are accessible enough to help you.

4. Don't forget to live in the [i]now.[/i] God has a plan or you, and its amesome to sometimes dream about what it could be and be excited about it. But don't forget that God also has a plan for you in the present state that you are living in. That "plan" is the life you have around you, right now. Your family, your friends, your schoolwork; all of these are things God has put into your life right now so that you can embrace them and live in them.

5. Grow. Both spiritually and as a person. Pray, reflect, and as I have said before [i]live[/i].

6. Volunteer. At your parish, or a local shelter. Find out what kind of community work you enjoy and are best at. This will also help narrow down the list of Orders.

7. Pray some more. There is no such thing as praying too much!


Here is a link to a very helpful website, that I highly recommend: Check it out, and try the "Vocation match". Its kinda like an online dating site, except for religious vocations!

[url="http://www.vocationnetwork.org/"]http://www.vocationnetwork.org/[/url]


We will all be praying for you!!!

Edited July 18, 2012 by BigJon16

[LittleWaySoul]

Queen'sDaughter-- thanks for that advice! :D

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1342640418' post='2456832']
Can you get to daily Mass?
[/quote]
Yes! I've been going daily over the summer and to adoration as much as possible. In fact, I feel as though the decision to do so has prompted me further toward religious life! I'll continue to discern, though! Thanks!

[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1342641504' post='2456841']
We will all be praying for you!!!
[/quote]
Thank you so much for all of that wonderful advice and for your prayers! I'll be sure to check out the vocation match thing :D

Edited July 18, 2012 by LittleWaySoul

[emmaberry]

[quote name='Queen'sDaughter' timestamp='1342638943' post='2456827']
Keep in mind that discernment is very personal, so what is true for one person may not be for the next. And what I say should be taken as general advice, not some formula for becoming a nun!

With that disclaimer in place, here goes!
[/quote]
Could not write a better disclaimer.

LWS and Annie: I could write a long post, but that really would just be my own experience-which does not seem to be how discernment usually goes for most people. I might have better advice for you when I am accepted somewhere..as of right now, my only advice is Mother Teresa. The below quote has been something I have rolled my eyes at, so to speak, in my discernment. "It's not that easy!" I insisted. But it turned out to be. Pray and trust God, and also trust dear Mother Teresa.

[quote]"Mother Teresa has managed to draw a large number of single, chaste women into her order, the Missionary Sisters of Charity, to spend their lives serving the poor and unwanted. Describing these women in a recent documentary on her life, Mother Teresa said, [b]"The person Christ has chosen for himself, she knows. Maybe she doesn't know how to express it, but she knows."[/b][/quote]

It is so true. We really do complicate things for ourselves a lot. I know I did. God has made you for this. Your vocation is in your being, and God answers our prayers. If you ask Him you [i]will[/i] receive and if you seek you [i]will [/i]find, Scripture says.

Praying for yall.

Edited July 19, 2012 by emmaberry

[mantellata]

1. Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, reading Scripture, Daily Mass (when you can), rosary, spiritual reading (lives of the saints etc)
2. Being "normal". If you have a vocation, that little "prodding" that doesn't go away - it means God is choosing you, right now, not some imaginary picture of you.
3. Visit communities and talk with Sisters. Start with some communities "close by" that you have an attraction to.
4. Talk with other Sisters about their life, what makes their life beautiful and why they chose to follow Christ in this manner.
5. Pray some more. (A spiritual director helps).

Many prayers for you as you discern God's will!!!!

[Luigi]

This advice is perhaps for later in your discernment - when you're ready to make a decision. The words were written by Bro. Paul Byrd, OP on his Cooperator Brother blog at [url="http://dominicancooperatorbrother.blogspot.com/2011/06/two-more-candidates-for-novitiate.html"]http://dominicancooperatorbrother.blogspot.com/2011/06/two-more-candidates-for-novitiate.html[/url]. The advice itself comes from Fr. Benedict Ashley, OP:

"An important step of the process [of becoming a Dominican] was discussed at lunch today, and I feel I have to share it, because it came from the oldest member of St. Albert's province--Benedict Ashley, OP [age 97]. At one point in the conversation, Fr. Ashley lamented the fact that the young people of today are eager for the faith, and eager to give their lives to good works--but they are so weak in their commitments. His advice was simple, "Make up your minds, and then stick to your decisions!" Sage advice, not only to the two young candidates at the table, and not only to the young friar about to profess solemn vows (yours truly), but to us all. Fr. Ashley's advice recognizes that along with God's grace, the human will is a key component to living out one's vocation. We have to not only desire to do God's will, we have to actively will to keep willing that--to recommit, even in the face of difficulties."

[Lisa]

[quote name='Luigi' timestamp='1342703020' post='2456988']
This advice is perhaps for later in your discernment - when you're ready to make a decision. The words were written by Bro. Paul Byrd, OP on his Cooperator Brother blog at [url="http://dominicancooperatorbrother.blogspot.com/2011/06/two-more-candidates-for-novitiate.html"]http://dominicancoop...-novitiate.html[/url]. The advice itself comes from Fr. Benedict Ashley, OP:

"An important step of the process [of becoming a Dominican] was discussed at lunch today, and I feel I have to share it, because it came from the oldest member of St. Albert's province--Benedict Ashley, OP [age 97]. At one point in the conversation, Fr. Ashley lamented the fact that the young people of today are eager for the faith, and eager to give their lives to good works--but they are so weak in their commitments. His advice was simple, "Make up your minds, and then stick to your decisions!" Sage advice, not only to the two young candidates at the table, and not only to the young friar about to profess solemn vows (yours truly), but to us all. Fr. Ashley's advice recognizes that along with God's grace, the human will is a key component to living out one's vocation. We have to not only desire to do God's will, we have to actively will to keep willing that--to recommit, even in the face of difficulties."
[/quote]

Luigi, thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over.

[loveletslive]

i've met fr. ashley!!!

[Luigi]

I Googled him and found a good brief biography. He's had quite an interesting life, written a great deal,served the Church long and well.