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Poll: Discernment Rings


Discernment Rings  

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well, I think when one is discerning, one should strive to live according to their current state in life.

If a man or woman is a Christian lay person, they should dress and behave like dignified holy lay people. They should not dress and behave in ways that are more fitting to those in the consecrated state.

one can dress and act in a way that is befitting to one seriously discerning though.

 

for women, they may no longer wish to wear pretty dresses and trouses. they may prefer dark or boring coloured clothes, long dresses, no/very simple makeup, no jewellery apart from the discreet, inexpensive and functional. if ebracing the evangelical councils, buying expensive jewellery and fashion clothing is not befitting.  - i am not talking about wearing a habit!

 

whereas a married/single person discerning marriage may wear bright clothing, knee length fashionable dresses, makeup, pretty jewellery, and can indeed spend money on such things.

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This is not a problem that I struggle with...  :hehe2:   Once, I thought I might try wearing a "chastity ring" but that only invited comments about my supposed engagement, and it was really awkward

I have one that has a cross made out of sapphire. It also has the words, "With God, all things are possible," written on the inside of the band. I originally used it as my purity ring, but now that I'

See, I am rather opposed to the above. I know it is different with consecrated virginity, because there is no "post-entrance" preparation period before consecration.  But in my opinion a person who is

one can dress and act in a way that is befitting to one seriously discerning though.

 

for women, they may no longer wish to wear pretty dresses and trouses. they may prefer dark or boring coloured clothes, long dresses, no/very simple makeup, no jewellery apart from the discreet, inexpensive and functional. if ebracing the evangelical councils, buying expensive jewellery and fashion clothing is not befitting.  - i am not talking about wearing a habit!

 

whereas a married/single person discerning marriage may wear bright clothing, knee length fashionable dresses, makeup, pretty jewellery, and can indeed spend money on such things.

 

See, I am rather opposed to the above. I know it is different with consecrated virginity, because there is no "post-entrance" preparation period before consecration.  But in my opinion a person who is discerning entrance to a convent or seminary should dress in a simple, modest, becoming way befitting a holy Christian layperson in whatever culture they find themselves living in, not in anyway that will draw attention or make him/her stick out. After all -- it is possible for a person to live Poverty in an ostentatious way. Better for him/her to do what is in keeping with his or her state in life.

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See, I am rather opposed to the above. I know it is different with consecrated virginity, because there is no "post-entrance" preparation period before consecration.  But in my opinion a person who is discerning entrance to a convent or seminary should dress in a simple, modest, becoming way befitting a holy Christian layperson in whatever culture they find themselves living in, not in anyway that will draw attention or make him/her stick out. After all -- it is possible for a person to live Poverty in an ostentatious way. Better for him/her to do what is in keeping with his or her state in life.

actually yes you are completely right there!!

 

as we remain in the world, I found having the distinction i described above helpful. it was when i made my private vows and started discerning formally (you are discerning up to the day you are consecrated/ ordained!) that i threw out most of my wardrobe except for a few plain maxi dresses in grey, black, navy and purple (for sundays), stopped wearing makeup and jewellery except for my ring (stainless steel $5) and silver stud earrings for work.

 

But for one who does have a post entrace preparation period, i suppose that would be the time for such things

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i am of the opinion that it is not in keeping with evangelical poverty to buy a nice ring for discernment, besides, you might discern the call to marriage then need to throw it away.

you can get some very cheap stainless steel rings from Amazon for just $5. some are nice with a stone in, some look like wedding bands, some are gold. they are stong and simple. you can get it engraved too.

 

I have to be careful with rings -- some rings cause a blistering on the finger.  So -- I usually have to go with something more expensive.

 

Eh if you get a good quality ring (ex: gold) and then discern a call to marriage you can always sell the ring.  Sure -- you won't get the same that you paid for it, but at least you can get some of it's value back.  And -- you may even be able to come up with a way to turn it into your wedding ring.

 

The ring I had -- I had been able to get it for a very good price (for gold -- it was less than 50 when gold rings at the time were running at about $200). 

 

I guess there is also a difference with respect to what is too expensive in the US.  In other countries even $50 would be too high.

 

And yes -- there is a difference when talking about a ring signifying a commitment.  Then I'm all for getting a good quality item that will last for years but that isn't "flashy"

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My grandmother liked to wear a lot of costume jewelry but she also had a few "real" rings. Her original wedding ring was too tiny and had to be cut off of her finger during a hospital stay; she was buried with her second wedding ring. The ring that was cut was molded back together, and recently my mother was cleaning out the jewelry box and decided to give me the ring. I told her to keep it for my niece, but in the meantime, the ring is just sitting in a box, so I decided I might wear it as a "discernment ring" for now and see how that goes. (Grandma's rose gold engagement band was refashioned into my sister's wedding ring).

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Could we please, please not bring the discussion of evangelical poverty to this thread?  I think that'd how the whole bruhaha started in the thread re: consecrated virgins/evangelical poverty.  Thanks

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Sadly mine is too big for my ring finger now :( (I guess I shouldn't be sad that I lost weight but still, I miss it!) Right now it's on my left middle finger as that's where it fits. I'm hoping soon to be able to get it re-sized but it's a bit expensive to make them smaller. 

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I'm hoping soon to be able to get it re-sized but it's a bit expensive to make them smaller. 

 

There are very inexpensive solutions for a loose ring,  I don't know what it' called, but I've got one on several of my rings as my fingers swell up and then return to normal size if I eat food with MSG, lots of salt,etc.  There are several different types you can get on line (try Amazon) for less than $5.00.  They are easy to use, economical, and not permanent in case your finger size changes again.  Just put "instant ring sizer" in your search engine. Hope that helps.

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I originally voted "Not yet, but I want to in the future." In hindsight, I have a few concerns about such a practice. Rings are associated with symbolising a commitment, e.g. engagement, marriage, final religious profession, etc. Even purity rings (which I'm also not a big fan of) are symbolic of a commitment. Discerning the religious life is not a state in life, it's not a commitment. So, is a ring really appropriate? I notice a tendency among discerners to view themselves as future religious, and as committed to the religious life in some way (I know I was guilty of this).

 

I suppose my issue is basically, what is the ring symbolising? Why does one need such an outward sign, and is it appropriate?

 

NB: I apologise if this steps on anyone's toes. I'm not trying to say it's wrong, just sharing my concerns. 

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I originally voted "Not yet, but I want to in the future." In hindsight, I have a few concerns about such a practice. Rings are associated with symbolising a commitment, e.g. engagement, marriage, final religious profession, etc. Even purity rings (which I'm also not a big fan of) are symbolic of a commitment. Discerning the religious life is not a state in life, it's not a commitment. So, is a ring really appropriate? I notice a tendency among discerners to view themselves as future religious, and as committed to the religious life in some way (I know I was guilty of this).

 

I suppose my issue is basically, what is the ring symbolising? Why does one need such an outward sign, and is it appropriate?

 

NB: I apologise if this steps on anyone's toes. I'm not trying to say it's wrong, just sharing my concerns. 

i think they are saying it stops guys hitting on them, then having to give an awkward explanation

 

if people are wearing it on their wedding finger, how do you know if they are married, engaged, or discerning and mahy be avaliable?

Edited by oremus1
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Surely there are simpler and more appropriate ways of doing so. A ring still just doesn't seem appropriate. 

 

Besides, how hard is it to turn a guy down? Unless he's a really close friend (In which case he should know about your discernment), turning someone down isn't that difficult, especially if it's because you're discerning. It's easier to be turned down if the reasons are discernment and not because you're an undesirable snot rag. :P

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