A Question About The Call

[KnightofChrist]

If I have 'the call', it is like being beckoned, like being awoke in the dead of night because you thought you heard someone call your name. Or like waking up early in the morning, in between being in a dream state and awake, and having a feeling that you have something important to do but can't remember what. Those are ultimately poor analogies though, but it's not easy to put in words.

Another thing that may or may not be part of it is when I pray and try to live the vocation I want, marriage, it doesn't feel right or it goes wrong, like there's somewhere else I should be. Then there are the interesting things that may be hints. For example many months ago when I was being to focus on the possibility of the call again. I prayed that God just give me any sign if I am called to the Priesthood. Very few days later my mom brings me a surprise gift she picked up at a evangelical thrift shop that doesn't have any Catholic Church near by for at least an hour drive. It was a Old Rite Missal, and not one used for the laity in the pews, but the one for the Priest on the Altar. Perhaps a mere coincidence, perhaps not. Sign or not the call if it is a call is strong with or without it.

[Kateri89]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1353473715' post='2514059']
Discernment shouldn't be exhausting or cause anxiety/anguish. Sr. Lois says that often; she told us just the other weekend at the discernment retreat. Hopefully the link will work and start when she's talking about stress, but it's at about 13:40
[url="http://youtu.be/8DKm3-XPWIk?t=13m39s"]http://youtu.be/8DKm3-XPWIk?t=13m39s[/url]
It's a good video, so I would recommend watching the whole thing. If you can't, definitely watch the part with St. Estelle right after that clip with Sr. Lois.
[/quote]

The thing is, I'm not anguished or anxious because I'm unhappy about religious life. One of my good friends just got engaged and I found myself thinking that I had the same excitement about entering as she does about getting married. I think my stress stems from not knowing where I'm called to specifically because I'm afraid that when I pray I'm asking but I don't know how to listen for the answer. I worry that I'm reading too much into "signs" or overlooking them. I truly believe that when I find the community I'm called to, I'll feel that inner peace that Sisters talk so much about.

That video was great Thanks!

[Starets]

Feelings are fickle and variable and not to be trusted.

Sometimes, God's will can be determined by circumstance. I experienced my first "tug" while a teenaged fundamentalist. I was part of a choir that sang vespers with a local Trappist monastery. There was something about the beauty of the simplicity and chant that awakened my curiosity.

I have never had a desire for marriage. Not something you say publicly as a fundamentalist, as I found out. I have neve seen myself as "married".

One circumstance that led me to suspect that I might be called to a life of prayer was the number of priests who used to ask me if I had thought of being a priest. I was in my teens and a fundamentalist so I would always say, with a smile "I hear you have to be Catholic for that".

Back in the early naughties I made a directed retreat at a Jesuit retreat center about the possibility of a calling. One thing my director said is that the longevity of the call is a good indication of its genuineness. After all, I was in my late 30s and Catholic by then.

Just some scattered thoughts

[nikita92]

SRKateri- have you determined if you are a people person? Have a genuine intrest in people and their problems. I mean if you were to join a contemplative/active communinty,that might be a complimentary fit for you. (As a example) your nursing skills would be right in line for a missionary community. Im sure you know this. I am a people person...my work deals with the public at times. I can see myself as a extern sister...helping people out. So cloister wouldnt be the best fit. But...I am older, so that isnt happening anyway. Being a wife and mother....you could still serve the parrish...yet you said you would want 100% of yourself given to our Lord. If you havent visited communities yet, maybe in doing so..would help your discernmemt. Prayers for you!

[Kateri89]

[quote name='nikita92' timestamp='1353862634' post='2516325']
SRKateri- have you determined if you are a people person? Have a genuine intrest in people and their problems. I mean if you were to join a contemplative/active communinty,that might be a complimentary fit for you. (As a example) your nursing skills would be right in line for a missionary community. Im sure you know this. I am a people person...my work deals with the public at times. I can see myself as a extern sister...helping people out. So cloister wouldnt be the best fit. But...I am older, so that isnt happening anyway. Being a wife and mother....you could still serve the parrish...yet you said you would want 100% of yourself given to our Lord. If you havent visited communities yet, maybe in doing so..would help your discernmemt. Prayers for you!
[/quote]

Nikita, I am passionately pro-life which is why I'm discerning with the Sisters of Life right now. I have a feeling that God's calling me there and I love the fact that it's a contemplative/active community. I went on retreat with the Nashville Dominicans in March of this year and loved them but didn't feel called there but they are also a contemplative/active community which I find so beautiful. To spend so much time in prayer but to still be able to go out into the world and share God's love with His people--I can't think of anything better

I was supposed to go on retreat with the Sisters of Life earlier this month but my flight got cancelled and I couldn't get another one so I missed it. I'm still planning on visiting them for their next vocation retreat in March 2013. Thanks for your prayers!