Charity Towards Elderly Parishioner

[inunionwithrome]

Take it to Confession and talk with your parish priest about the situation. This will help to release the grudge that you are feeling towards him and lighten your load.

[OnlySunshine]

Take it to Confession and talk with your parish priest about the situation. This will help to release the grudge that you are feeling towards him and lighten your load.

 

I actually don't feel a grudge towards him.  I was shocked when I heard him say it out loud, is all.  I'm going to keep an eye on him and, if he says it again, I'll bring it to my pastor.  :)

[BG45]

I'd say let it die or talk to the pastor.  When my neighbor Tony was alive, he had a handicap sign installed on the street next to his house so he could have "[my] spot".  One day, someone was in "his spot" and he called the police.  They told him the other person had a handicapped tag as well, have a nice day and don't call for false reports again.

 

It's always amazing to me how quickly "the mass has ended, let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord" goes out the window for parishioners once everyone's out in the crowded parking lot and behind the wheel. 

 

Wait they wait until the final blessing to flee to the parking lot?  You must go to a really devout parish. :|  (We have at least 1/3 of the congregation not return to the pews after Communion.)

[WillT]

Take a nail to the side of his car.

This. Then he's not lying and your character will fit the assumptions of your fellow parishioners. It's a win-win situation, really.

[Deb]

I would suggest just letting it go. He obviously has something wrong with him. If something happens again, then talk to the church administrator. I am not sure the pastor wants to hear the "he said, she said" stuff.  I would bet everyone else knows what he is

like and your reputation will be fine. We are not here to please others nor worry about what they think. We only need to please God.

Now, if he tried to sit in my :saint2: pew, that would be a completely different matter.

[CatherineM]

We have an upstairs neighbor like this. He's 78. A Jamacian retired music professor. He can make our lives hell at times. Today, we had an inch of water in our hallway and bathroom floor. Traced it to his apartment. He wouldn't open the door and we thought he had overflowed his bathtub again on purpose.

We called the cops. That's what we have been told to do so they can document his increasing dementia issues. They broke in his door and found him near death. He'd been sick for days. The EMTs worked on him for over an hour before they took him to the hospital. They said he would have been dead by morning.

The leak turned out to be the water in his toilet tank running to the point of overflowing. The cops fixed it by adjusting the ball float thing. Saved by a toilet. I'm glad we called.

[AnneLine]

^^  THIS.  That's a story for the books, Catharine.  

 

The documenting stuff is what we were told in counseling school as well.  It's not about complaining about him or bring authority down on him.  It is that something could be seriously WRONG and the problem not being caught until it is way late. 

 

Whether or not a pastor wants to acknowledge it, part of his job -- the MOST important part of his job -- is watching over his flock.  The Administrator will want to know if the guy is driving into things... but the pastor needs to know to watch if his flock is in trouble.   My 2 cents....

 

Reminds me of when I lived in a slum neighborhood directly across from a dive bar.   Our living room windows looked INTO the place, and the loud music, 'quality of life' issues (drinking, and getting rid of fluids from one end or the other after too much drinking....) were just INTOLERABLE.  They ran loud music and live loud traveling musicians all afternoon, night and upt to and AFTER closing at 2AM  (There's a reason AnneLine started having an odd sleep schedule.....)  

 

When they started tossing beer bottles at people, running drugs, having prostitutes, etc.... we finally started calling the police.   Took almost 2 years before there was enough stuff documented to do anything about it.   The documentation is and was the key to getting the size and scope of the problem made clear.

 

This guy doesn't sound dangerous, but he could be in trouble.  I still come down on the side of let the pastor know about the incident -- while making clear you aren't asking him to take sides, just to keep an eye open....

 

And I am praying for you and for him, Mater.   Not easy choices.

[OnlySunshine]

I would suggest just letting it go. He obviously has something wrong with him. If something happens again, then talk to the church administrator. I am not sure the pastor wants to hear the "he said, she said" stuff.  I would bet everyone else knows what he is

like and your reputation will be fine. We are not here to please others nor worry about what they think. We only need to please God.

Now, if he tried to sit in my :saint2: pew, that would be a completely different matter.

 

:hehe2:

[Norseman82]

The problem, though, is that it is the elderly man who won't let it die, and he is disparaging MaterMisericordiae's good reputation and her mom's.  Until HE stops, it won't die.  Those are the facts of the matter here.  The only question is how to get him to stop.