An Update

[savvy]

 

I did get a response from the Jerusalem community about coming for a longer stay. The community is undecided about this. The reasons being my medication (which thank God is only temporary) and the fact that I am slower in speed than the others.  Their concern is that if they give me a three month stay, I would see this as a commitment on their part, when they are not completely sure.

 

They think I might be be overwhelmed by the fact that their life is demanding, and also could involve transfer to other convents, and learning a new language etc. 

 

I did tell the sister I talk to that I am drawn to this community, and that I am a lot more capable than people give me credit for.  I have lived in other places.  Know four languages, so learning a new language would not be an issue. I can go off the medication.

 

I told her that after the three months if they decide this is not for me, I will accept the decision, but at least I will have the satisfaction that I tried this out.

 

Sister told me she will bring this back to the prioress and get back to me.

 

I really need prayers. 

 

I understand the community's concerns. I am not going to have a nervous breakdown or go crazy incase that's what they are worried about. I accept that I have both strengths and weakness and I just want the community to be understanding.

 

 

 

Edited February 11, 2013 by savvy

[ChristinaTherese]

Prayers for you. :nunpray:

[HisAlone]

I will be praying as well. I love the way this community brings the beauty of contemplation to the heart of the city. Their chanting is so beautiful.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Prayers! That must be really difficult.

[Spem in alium]

You have my prayers.

[Julie de Sales]

Prayers, have confidence in God! What He wants, that truly happends, and if He wants you to this community, He will make things possible.

[organwerke]

I pray for you.

After all, I think that the fact that the community is not completely sure is a sign of maturity from the community, not for the fact that they have doubts on you, but for the fact that they do not accept without questioning any vocation but they are open to God's will, and I find your behaviour too very mature, so, whatever will, happen, you'll have the peace that you simply did God's will.

[nikita92]

Having taken into consideration of what Organwerke just wrote...can you get a "note" from your physical/mental health doctor to show and reassure them of your "green light" to proceed? When I recently went to my primary care physician for a check over and current blood testing etc (plus mammogram ) I got a note from him to show the sisters of my health status in case they wanted to see "proof" of such. ( I was asked on the phone) I may have been a step ahead of myself...but I had it as back up just in case.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

Prayers! When we are detached and God's will is made known, we won't be disturbed. Everything will come together. Continue to trust and hope and be assured that you will end up where your supposed to be. Remain close to Our Blessed Mother and ask for her help and prayers. She is the great and perfect example of how we should be surrendered to God and His plan. If you would, please say a prayer for me too. :)

[macguy4143]

I can only imagin you frustration, I to have been faced with problems where people have not sceen my full compasity. I believe god will make the right choice with this and I'll pray that they except you in.

[savvy]

I have bad news. The community said no. They feel their way of life might be too demanding for me. I however, do not think so. This is what I get for being honest. They did tell me that they have no doubt, that I do have a vocation or some form of consecration. They said they could recommend some coummunities if I want. They think a rejection might be harder for me after a three month stay.

I still said, I would appreciate a longer stay. The last time we spoke sister said that the best thing would be a community that is stable and does not move around. After my experience at Carmel, I am a bit hesitant to try out another cloistered community. It is hard to find a community that is contemplative, but not cloistered. With Jerusalem, I thought I had found the right match.

I really do not know where to go from here.

[EmilyAnn]

I have bad news. The community said no. They feel their way of life might be too demanding for me. I however, do not think so. This is what I get for being honest. They did tell me that they have no doubt, that I do have a vocation or some form of consecration. They said they could recommend some coummunities if I want. They think a rejection might be harder for me after a three month stay.

I still said, I would appreciate a longer stay. The last time we spoke sister said that the best thing would be a community that is stable and does not move around. After my experience at Carmel, I am a bit hesitant to try out another cloistered community. It is hard to find a community that is contemplative, but not cloistered. With Jerusalem, I thought I had found the right match.

I really do not know where to go from here.

I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my prayers. 

Have you considered Passionists? I believe they are contemplative but not cloistered. Or the Trinitarians of Mary. Visitationists maybe as well. 

[beatitude]

Savvy, it is difficult, but I think you must trust in God here. It may be that the time will come when you are very grateful that you received this answer.

 

The Monastic Community of Jerusalem are in the spirituality of Bl. Charles de Foucauld. There are other communities sharing his spirit. Why not look at them? Have you heard of the Little Sisters of Jesus? They too are non-cloistered contemplatives, although their contemplation is of a special sort: they aim to share in the working conditions of the poor wherever they live, so they undertake simple low-paid jobs to support themselves. They were once described as 'combining the charity of the Vincentians with the prayer of Carmelites', or words to that effect. I've stayed with them a few times and it was wonderful. Very rich deep prayer life and a simple friendship with anyone and everyone who came to their door.

[Pax_et bonum]

I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my prayers. 

Have you considered Passionists? I believe they are contemplative but not cloistered. Or the Trinitarians of Mary. Visitationists maybe as well. 

Passionist Nuns are cloistered, but their cloister is much less strict than Carmel. They can even leave for family events such as funerals, I believe, and discerners are allowed to enter the cloister. I believe it's similar with the Visitation Sisters but not sure.

 

I cannot stress this enough: Carmel does not represent all cloistered life. Carmel is to contemplative life as Missionaries of Charity is to active life, to give a rough analogy. (I've never been to Carmel, only read about it, so apologies if I'm totally off.)  Aside from the fact that even within the same charism you may have entirely opposite experiences in 2 communities, let alone in 2 different charisms.  Just be open to anything and look at each community as individual, don't write off cloistered life entirely just because of one experience in Carmel of all places.

I agree.

 

The Monastic Community of Jerusalem are in the spirituality of Bl. Charles de Foucauld. There are other communities sharing his spirit.

The Daughters of Mary of Nazareth. They say they're "An Apostolic and Contemplative Community" but they do seem to be more apostolic than contemplative.

 

If Jerusalem has some suggestions of communities you might fit with, that may be helpful to listen to. Or have you checked out some of the communities that are geographically near to you, if there are any? This may be a good time to take a short break from contacting communities and just pray. Praying for you!

[petitpèlerin]

I'm so sorry to hear this disappointing news. Prayers for you.

 

Have you taken them up on their offer to suggest other communities? Another one that comes to mind as contemplative but not cloistered, I can't remember if it's come up here before, is the Children of Mary in Newark, Ohio.

[EmilyAnn]

Passionist Nuns are cloistered, but their cloister is much less strict than Carmel. They can even leave for family events such as funerals, I believe, and discerners are allowed to enter the cloister. I believe it's similar with the Visitation Sisters but not sure.

 

Oops. I knew they weren't as strict as Carmelites are. Perhaps they have a constitutional enclosure as opposed to a papal enclosure. 

[Lumiere]

The Little Sisters of Jesus look wonderful!

[OnlySunshine]

I have bad news. The community said no. They feel their way of life might be too demanding for me. I however, do not think so. This is what I get for being honest. They did tell me that they have no doubt, that I do have a vocation or some form of consecration. They said they could recommend some coummunities if I want. They think a rejection might be harder for me after a three month stay.

I still said, I would appreciate a longer stay. The last time we spoke sister said that the best thing would be a community that is stable and does not move around. After my experience at Carmel, I am a bit hesitant to try out another cloistered community. It is hard to find a community that is contemplative, but not cloistered. With Jerusalem, I thought I had found the right match.

I really do not know where to go from here.

 

Oh, dear, savvy!  I really do sympathize with you because that's almost the exact same thing the community I applied to said last month.  It's so difficult to hear these things when we thing everything is going right.  Especially since you did everything they asked you to do and they still turned you to other communities.  However, I firmly believe God uses these events for our benefit.  Had I not learned that I wasn't accepted, I might never have considered LAMP seriously.  I would have missed the opportunity entirely and I'm thinking this is what God wants of me.  Still, there are days where I find questions popping up in my mind about what I could have done differently, but the past is past.  Consider those communities that the Monastics are referring you to.  I also know of a few non-cloistered contemplative communities in the USA and one in England if you are interested:

 

Sister Servants of the Eternal Word

 

Dominican Sisters of St. Joseph (UK)

 

Little Sisters of St. Francis

 

Trinitarians of Mary

 

Children of Mary

 

Georgetown Visitation

 

I hope this helps!  It may take some time for you to not feel the sting anymore (I'm still not there) but it WILL past.  As my therapist discovered from a priest and then told me, resiliency and perseverance are very necessary for discernment.  Keep trying!  Prayers!

[AnneLine]

It is very hard to have something like this happen; I know, because it happened to me long ago.

 

But... God knows you and will lead you to the right place. 

 

As a very holy priest once told me regarding my own desires for a vocation to the cloister, "If God wants you in, nothing on earth will keep you out; if God doesn't want you in, nothing on earth will get you in.  So.... be at peace and trust God.  He will lead you home."

 

 

 

Have you considered the Dominican Sisters of Bethany? They are also non-cloistered contemplatives, and sometimes can be more open than many communities to people with barriers. Their charism is very unique. They are in France and Germany and Italy, I believe.

 

The closest community in their charism that is English speaking is in USA and is an Association of the Faithful in Maine, the Community of the Resurrection. You can find out more about them and the charism from the website below.

 

They are currently Dominican Laity living in community, and hoping to get enough people to establish a Dominican Sisters' community in the USA....

 

http://www.communityoftheresurrection.com/

 

You indicate you speak several languages; if you speak either French, German or Dutch (and I think maybe Italian?) you can check out the two communities of these sisters in Europe:

 

In French

http://dominicainesdebethanie.org/

 

In German, Dutch and a language I can't identify ;)

http://www.dominikanerinnen-von-bethanien.de/

 

My bet is that those communities have someone who speaks English if you don't know any of those languages. 

 

I will pray hard for you. :)

[Luigi]

Benedictines are contemplative without being strictly cloistered. One on the vows they take is stability. The ministry varies from monastery to monastery - there's one in Arkansas(?) that runs a nursing home, a number of them run schools, some run retreat centers. 

 

Second federation Visitation nuns are also stable without being strictly enclosed. Again, there are degrees of enclosure (not from a canonical perspective, but as a matter of practice), but you should be able to find one that suits you. Most Visitation monasteries (at least those in the second federation) run girls' schools.