Soul Mates, Etc

[gaudium et spes]

I'm focusing on religious life and marriage here, but if you want to bring CV into it, say "If I choose a different vocation than consecrated virginity, I'll be less happy." Or something. That's harder to incorporate. 

Edited March 11, 2013 by gaudium et spes

[Luigi]

I voted False on all of the above. I think in both cases, it comes down to availability and familiarity, plus your own commitment.

 

MARRIAGE - I've known people who have been married twice and even thrice - specifically, mostly widowers but also widows who remarried - and they were happy with all of their spouses, because they were generally happy people who knew how to love and get along with other people. Love and marriage are decisions, processes. If you were living in a different country when you got to be marriageable age, you'd find somebody there just as well as you'd find somebody back in your home country. 

 

RELIGIOUS LIFE - This is a little different. Some monastic orders - I think the Carmelites? - figure that God calls a woman to a specific monastery. Another exception would be if there's only one order that sponsors the apostolate you want prefer - such as the Religious of the Good Shepherd working with delinquent girls.

 

But I opine that in general - or maybe generally in the active orders - a person who wants to serve God & HIs people could do it effectively and happily in a number of congregations. In my diocese, there are at least four orders that (historically) staff grade schools, staff high schools, run hospitals, (a couple also staff/sponsor colleges,) run retreat centers, etc. Their habits differed but their religious practices didn't differ much. From what I can tell, the main factor that led a girl to join one congregation over another had to do with who taught her in high school - so, familiarity with the order on the part of the girl. 

 

Pretty much the same thing went for men, although there were fewer orders to choose from, and fewer apostolates. The big difference in male orders is priesthood - Alexian Brothers aren't priests, I don't think Christian Brothers are priests, Society of Mary has some brothers and some priests, Jesuits have mostly priests, Dominicans have mostly priests. But all of them (except the Alexian brothers) teach in high school and colleges. 

 

And back when there were only one or two orders in a diocese, people joined those orders and lived productive religious lives. Now that travel is easier, people can choose from any order in the entar' nation, and we've seen people on this board who choose institutes in other countries.

 

But for most centuries in most places, for both marriage and religious life, it was a matter of availability and familiarity, plus personal commitment.

[PhuturePriest]

I voted False on all of the above. I think in both cases, it comes down to availability and familiarity, plus your own commitment.

 

MARRIAGE - I've known people who have been married twice and even thrice - specifically, mostly widowers but also widows who remarried - and they were happy with all of their spouses, because they were generally happy people who knew how to love and get along with other people. Love and marriage are decisions, processes. If you were living in a different country when you got to be marriageable age, you'd find somebody there just as well as you'd find somebody back in your home country. 

 

RELIGIOUS LIFE - This is a little different. Some monastic orders - I think the Carmelites? - figure that God calls a woman to a specific monastery. Another exception would be if there's only one order that sponsors the apostolate you want prefer - such as the Religious of the Good Shepherd working with delinquent girls.

 

But I opine that in general - or maybe generally in the active orders - a person who wants to serve God & HIs people could do it effectively and happily in a number of congregations. In my diocese, there are at least four orders that (historically) staff grade schools, staff high schools, run hospitals, (a couple also staff/sponsor colleges,) run retreat centers, etc. Their habits differed but their religious practices didn't differ much. From what I can tell, the main factor that led a girl to join one congregation over another had to do with who taught her in high school - so, familiarity with the order on the part of the girl. 

 

Pretty much the same thing went for men, although there were fewer orders to choose from, and fewer apostolates. The big difference in male orders is priesthood - Alexian Brothers aren't priests, I don't think Christian Brothers are priests, Society of Mary has some brothers and some priests, Jesuits have mostly priests, Dominicans have mostly priests. But all of them (except the Alexian brothers) teach in high school and colleges. 

 

And back when there were only one or two orders in a diocese, people joined those orders and lived productive religious lives. Now that travel is easier, people can choose from any order in the entar' nation, and we've seen people on this board who choose institutes in other countries.

 

But for most centuries in most places, for both marriage and religious life, it was a matter of availability and familiarity, plus personal commitment.

 

To build on this, Saint Padre Pio joined the Capuchin Franciscan Friars because they were the one that lived near him. He could have traveled far off somewhere else, but he didn't. He never discerned with any other Community (To my knowledge). He could have been successful as a Dominican, Carmelite, Jesuit, or any other Order you can name.

[Nihil Obstat]

I think that is a very limiting way of framing the question. The conclusion I have come to right now is "God has a specific plan for me at this point in my life. If I should fail in carrying out God's current Will for me, He may, or He may not offer me different opportunities at some point in the future."
This allows the intuitively strong idea that there is one person, or perhaps for you discerners, one community, to whom/which you are being called to pledge your life (at this exact moment), but it also allows that an immediate failure does not mean that your life is a permanent failure- making a mistake now is not an all-or-nothing proposition.
 
The more I think about this, the more confident I am in my answer. :)

[petitpèlerin]

I agree with just about everything that's been said here. But just to point out a seemingly contradictory aspect of divine will, after entering the Sisters of Mercy St Faustina felt she had made a mistake and was ready to leave, and God made it clear to her that this was exactly where he wanted her: he wanted her to be a Sister of Mercy and he wanted to give her an extremely important message of mercy. He probably had some real designs on her life. We never know what designs he might have on ours.

 

A different but maybe similar thing happens when it becomes clear, at least at some point in time, that a particular individual or community is God's will for a particular person. And I won't try to presume to make a science of divine will. I am grateful, though, that he gives us the grace to fully embrace whatever person or community we discern is right for us, and to feel like it was meant to be from all eternity.

Edited March 11, 2013 by petitpèlerin

[HopefulBride]

I think that is a very limiting way of framing the question. The conclusion I have come to right now is "God has a specific plan for me at this point in my life. If I should fail in carrying out God's current Will for me, He may, or He may not offer me different opportunities at some point in the future."
This allows the intuitively strong idea that there is one person, or perhaps for you discerners, one community, to whom/which you are being called to pledge your life (at this exact moment), but it also allows that an immediate failure does not mean that your life is a permanent failure- making a mistake now is not an all-or-nothing proposition.

The more I think about this, the more confident I am in my answer. :)

This times three