How Did You Know?

[Kateri89]

Just curious, to all the discerners, how did you know if you were called to a cloistered, monastic, contemplative/active, or missionary type of order?  A lot of people seem to identify with a certain spirituality, i.e. Franciscan, Benedictine but even if you narrow it down to that spirituality, there are still a lot of options within.

 

Just curious how you discerned that you were called to that particular lifestyle within religious life.

Edited April 3, 2013 by SrKateri

[domenica_therese]

I've known I wanted to teach for a really long time. Once I realized that the desire to teach was a desire to spread the truth, and once I realized what the Dominicans were all about and what their spirituality was like, it was a natural connection.

[OnlySunshine]

When I was discerning religious life, I had a difficult time trying to figure out which kind of life I was called to.  At first, I really believed that I wanted to be cloistered because I admired St. Therese of Lisieux's life as a cloistered Carmelite nun.  But, after I woke up, I realized that was not a good idea for me since I have a history of depression -- especially since Prioresses were telling me they couldn't allow me to enter.  As time went on, I understood that, if I had a calling to religious life, I'd be best in active/contemplative because there is a balance between prayer and apostolate.  I love healthcare and I truly believed that I might want to be a nursing Sister or work in some other aspect of healthcare. 

Edited April 3, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae

[petitpèlerin]

I'm not totally sure yet. Sometimes there's only one way to know and that's to try it and see if it fits. I'm trying to discern between eremitical and contemplative/active, and realizing that the only way I'm going to know is to enter somewhere and see how it goes. And that's exactly what my spiritual director said. I guess sometimes we just have to go one step at a time.

Personally I'm Franciscan but have never found a Franciscan community that's a good fit. I have found another contemplative/active community that aligns with Francis' deepest principles, so I'm going to enter there and see how it goes. I trust that if I'm called to more solitude, now or sometime down the road, I'll know it and I'll find a way to live it out, either within that community, in a cenobitic type of community (like the Carthusians), or as a diocesan hermit or something.

Edited April 3, 2013 by petitpèlerin

[Spem in alium]

At this stage I feel most called to active/contemplative orders. I am an introvert and like spending time alone, but also enjoy being with others. At this moment spirituality isn't clear, but I do have a soft spot for Franciscans and Benedictines.

[Guest Allie]

When I finally knew I had to "do something", I went to my favorite former teacher (a Sister)  and talked her ears off. She listened to me very carefully (I still remember the quality of her attention.) and suggested I look up contemplative orders and start with Franciscans and Carmelites.  I never  made it to the Carmelites. On the advice of my Spiritual Director, I contacted the monastery that I felt most attracted to and that was the beginning. That the Poor Clare life is what I was made for seems clear at this point.  The next step is to find the monastery and get my (bare) feet wet.  Hopefully, the next few months will settle that question. :saint2:

[littlesister]

Read.  Check websites.  See what resonates. If it's apostolic, figure out what work attracts you.  If it's contemplative, figure out which description of the life draws you.   Then visit, enough to sample those that spoke to you but not so many that everything will get muddled.  Follow that with a long talk - or two, or several - with the Lord, and see what he has to say about it.  When together you find where your heart belongs...that will be the one for you. Then decide.  And don't be afraid.. 

A priest once told us that seeking a vocation is like standing on a landing before several doors.  If one doesn't decide which door to open, it is possible to stand on the landing forever.

Blessings.

 

Edited April 3, 2013 by littlesister

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

I've had a lot of trouble trying to figure that out, but ultimately I know God will call me to the place where I fit perfectly. I love contemplation, but I also really love people, recreation, crafts, laughing, etc. etc. I think that something that is very focused on Adoration is always something I NEED to have (or else I would be really sad!) Also, Rosary and spiritual reading. Also, however, being with people is important, so that I can spread God's love to the needy. I took a spirituality quiz on vocation network, and it said I had an Augustinian spirituality. That doesn't tell me much about a vocation, though, since many orders use that as a guideline becuase his rule is so basic. Another quiz I took said my results came 100% Franciscan, 75% Dominican, and some other ones. Having recently felt a call to Franciscans, this seems to fit me. Having a contemplative life is my #1 and then serving others, since without the proper prayer life, service is unfruitful.

Edited April 3, 2013 by Mary+Immaculate<3

[DiscerningCatholic]

I've known I wanted to teach for a really long time. Once I realized that the desire to teach was a desire to spread the truth, and once I realized what the Dominicans were all about and what their spirituality was like, it was a natural connection.

 

DOM DOMS FTW!!!!!!!! :dance: :nun: I have nearly the same reasons!!!! 

[Gabriela]

Here's an interesting pattern: Most of the contemplative sisters I interviewed considered active life but, on discovering contemplative life, felt a "click" with that that just "made sense". On the other hand, most of the active sisters I interviewed never for one second considered contemplative life. Their faces wrinkled up or their eyes popped when I asked about it, and I heard responses like, "Oh my gosh, no way!"

 

Personally, whenever I think of active life, I get a sort of tenseness in my chest that I recognize as anxiety. That life seems so harried to me. I could never. But then, I am a slow live-er, and I have always been very solitary (two weeks without leaving the house is a joy to me). "Grace builds on nature," Mother Abbess said... :)

 

As for spirituality: That was more difficult. I thought I was attracted to Benedictines, but on going to visit a monastery for a week, I just felt the life was "empty". Like, I didn't feel fulfilled there. It was just "empty". I don't know how else to describe it. I felt no attraction whatsoever to the saints, even though I love the liturgy and the fact that Benedictine communities support themselves. Spiritually, it was just "empty". The day after I arrived home from the Benedictines, I read about St. Francis de Sales for the first time, and my heart leapt—over and over and over again. I was so excited about this man's spirituality, I went to Mass and cried. Finally, I understood what it meant to "be attracted to an order's spirituality".

 

Now, I'm discerning with Visitandines.

Edited April 6, 2013 by curiousing

[maximillion]

I was already an RN when I began looking seriously (as in visits) and initially chose active orders, but after the third, I knew something was missing for me in that lifestyle.

To the surprise of many I felt much more at home the first Contemplative community I visited (Benedictines). I didn't enter with them because I didn't consider myself their intellectual equal, and had a very strong devotion to the Sacred Heart, so began looking for a Sacred Heart Contemplative community, and that was where I entered.

[maximillion]

Realise I still didn't really answer the question.

 

I was always a full on person. I never did or do anything by half measures, so when I realised God was calling me to Himself, I wanted to give myself, rather than my works of mercy or compassion, I wanted to be all His, I wanted to unite myself radically in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, hidden in His Most Sacred and Compassionate Heart. I didn't know it when I started looking (discerning) but He planted in me a strong desire for Adoration and praise, I loved plainchant already and was part of a Gregorian Chior, TBH if I had know more about Religious Life I never would have looked at the active orders, since it's clear to me the signs were there of a penchant for monasticism already!

 

When I went to France and visited with the community devoted to the Sacred Heart, with perpetual adoration, Papal Enclosure, a rich tradition of plainchant and a vibrant loving community life, it was like He gave me back tenfold what I had actually wanted to be a gift to Him!

[marigold]

I've had a lot of trouble trying to figure that out, but ultimately I know God will call me to the place where I fit perfectly. I love contemplation, but I also really love people, recreation, crafts, laughing, etc. etc. I think that something that is very focused on Adoration is always something I NEED to have (or else I would be really sad!) Also, Rosary and spiritual reading. Also, however, being with people is important, so that I can spread God's love to the needy. I took a spirituality quiz on vocation network, and it said I had an Augustinian spirituality. That doesn't tell me much about a vocation, though, since many orders use that as a guideline becuase his rule is so basic. Another quiz I took said my results came 100% Franciscan, 75% Dominican, and some other ones. Having recently felt a call to Franciscans, this seems to fit me. Having a contemplative life is my #1 and then serving others, since without the proper prayer life, service is unfruitful.

 

I think I know what you mean, but there will be "people, recreation, crafts, laughing, etc." in contemplative communities as well as in active ones. Sometimes people seem to think very simply about these things (not saying you do). It's not a choice between living for God and living a normal life. Contemplative, enclosed enclosed community life will be very much about other people (I will always remember my surprise at being told that for a nun, the sisterhood are the poor and needy she needs to spread God's love to!), and stretching your horizons; equally, even the activest active life will involve quite a bit of solitude and cleaning the house for the 1022nd time. The reason I point out the obvious is just that those particular things you mentioned reminded me immediately of the good women of VS who are in contemplative communities ;)

[Guest Allie]

I think I know what you mean, but there will be "people, recreation, crafts, laughing, etc." in contemplative communities as well as in active ones. Sometimes people seem to think very simply about these things (not saying you do). It's not a choice between living for God and living a normal life. Contemplative, enclosed enclosed community life will be very much about other people (I will always remember my surprise at being told that for a nun, the sisterhood are the poor and needy she needs to spread God's love to!), and stretching your horizons; equally, even the activest active life will involve quite a bit of solitude and cleaning the house for the 1022nd time. The reason I point out the obvious is just that those particular things you mentioned reminded me immediately of the good women of VS who are in contemplative communities ;)

When I read the following on the Bethlehem Monastery website, I finally understood how it is possible that the Lord could call me, me who was never on anyone's  "most likely to enter the convent" list. I mean, when I was lurking about VS for a year  or so I was amazed at how many of you were seriously discerning at an age when I was quite shallow and self absorbed. So it helps to understand that one is called in one's weakness by His Love.

 

Thank you Marigold for sharing your hard won wisdom with us.  And thank you all of you who share what you learned through your faithful discerning.

 

 

   " The Sacred Liturgy gives us two pathways into the splendor of his reign. The first is through the "sacrament" of brothers and sisters in need; the second is through the lowly door of our own weakness. At different moments in a Poor Clare's life, she may find herself led by the Holy Spirit along one or the other or both of these paths. What is clear to those who love and observe the Holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is that there is no other way into the mystery of his hidden Kingship. This is why she binds herself by holy vows to live in obedience, without anything of her own, in chastity, and in the observance of enclosure. Obedience obliges her again and again to "come up from the wilderness, leaning upon her Beloved". Dispossession of anything of her own will oblige her to live from the resources of the King. Chastity will free her heart to love her sisters in community, and to assume the amesome and joyful responsibilities of spiritual motherhood in the Church, especially in favor of sinners, of the dying, the lonely, the tempted and the poor. The observance of enclosure anchors her in the reality of the little and poor for whom there is no escape from the daily experience of lowliness and need, no escape from perfect joy!"

[cartermia]

I just took a quiz and it said:

Your Spirituality Type: PATH OF SERVICE (Franciscan prayer)

About 38 percent of the population is this spiritual type--but far fewer of this type come to church regularly.

Like Saint Francis of Assisi, those who follow the path must be free, unconfined, and able to do whatever their inner spirit moves them to do. They don't like to be tied down by rules. One thinks of Saint Peter impetuously jumping into the water to join Jesus as a typical action of this type.

Franciscan spirituality leads to acts of loving service which can be a most effective form of prayer. The gospel stories about Jesus have a special appeal, particularly the Incarnation of God in the life of Jesus, which is the center around which Franciscan life and spirituality revolve. Franciscan prayer is flexible and free-flowing making full use of the five senses and it is spirit-filled prayer.

Those on this path can make a meditation on the beauty of a waterfall, flower, meadow, mountain, or ocean—all of God's creation. There is more stress in payer on the events of Jesus' life than on this teaching Like Saint Therese of Lisieux, prayer is done with total concentration—as if this is the most important thing to be doing at this moment Therese did all tasks knowing that each was a part of the total harmony of the universe.

[nikita92]

Are You Being Called?




Discerning a Vocation
by Fr Anthony Bannon
INTRODUCTION

Over the years I have had occasion to speak to many young people who have told me they were trying to discern if they had a vocation to the priestly or consecrated life, and I have had to tell them, sometimes to their surprise and consternation, that they were on the wrong track, that they should not be ‘discerning’ but doing something else.

Let me explain lest you think I am against vocations.

The big problem with discernment, at least as many understand it, is this: it often turns what should be a vital conversation with God, the experience of the breath of God on one’s life, the stirring of our deepest and noblest aspirations, into a cold examination and spiritless calculation of risk, preferences and rewards, and the ceaseless rummaging for signs. Instead of increasing trust, discernment — as practiced by many — stifles it, robs our search of all élan, and overrides love as a factor in our decisions.

The nature of discernment itself has something to do with this, and also the fact that in the matter of vocation, discernment is only one element, and perhaps the one that we have least control of, though it commandeers most of our attention and is the one we are most anxious to embark upon.

THE WHOLE CONTEXT

The fundamental truth about a vocation is that its source is not us but God. God calls. From the moment he creates us God has a specific dream for each one of us. It follows that God in his providence and intelligence will make sure we receive sufficient indication of what it is he wants of us. We need not worry about that.

The other side to the equation is that for God’s plan to come true we have to perceive it and act upon it. This perception and acceptance has to happen at all levels of our nature, not only the intellectual but also the spiritual and the emotional.

Though a person will pray about it, what is commonly understood as discernment is a process of trying to satisfy our skeptical intellect as to the existence of our call. Purely and simply. This involves many an omission.

We do not normally take into consideration as a factor, for example, our willingness to accept the call — nor do we consider the influence of this willingness on our ability to perceive it, nor the obstacles that there may be within us to perceiving and acting upon a call. Yet all of these are of enormous consequence in our vocational search, and frequently are the hidden factors in determining its success or lack thereof.

THE KEY TO SUCCESSFUL DISCERNMENT

Discernment will be truly successful if we find out what God wants of us, and then go do it. So much is obvious. It is not difficult to see how pointless it would be to search for our vocation if we are not willing to follow it.

What some might find surprising is that our willingness to follow our vocation is a major factor in our willingness to accept it, and our willingness to accept it is a major factor in our ability to discover it. Discovery is acceptance on an intellectual level that the vocation is there, acceptance is to admit it is something that should be acted upon, and action is the crown of the whole process — it is love made practice.

We cannot help but approach discernment with a certain number of prejudices and biases, be they positive or negative. Indifference in this matter is not part of our nature. The sacrifices we know are entailed in following a vocation do color our willingness to accept its existence. Often, like a border guard faced with a person of questionable origin, we can question the vocation to death, playing it all by the book, prudently.

So the real challenge for a person considering a vocation is to be willing to follow it if he has one. The real problem is to acquire this disposition of willingness, unconditional openness. And this, rather than mere discernment, should be our concern.

OPENNESS AND ITS RIVALS

Often we understand by openness that we accept intellectually the fact that conceivably God could call us. There is a more useful form of openness. It consists in the ability to say to God, and mean it, ‘whatever you want of me I will do.’ It is therefore a fruit of prayer, and is expressed in prayer that is more offering than petition. This kind of openness faces significant obstacles, most of them at work inside us. The parable of the sower can help us understand some of these. (cf. Luke 8, 4-15)

The devil comes and takes the word out of their hearts. Because we haven’t invited him, we practically never consider the tempter as an active participant in our vocational discernment. But he gatecrashes anyway. Remember Peter? As long as he followed the Holy Spirit he could see (‘discern’) that Jesus was the Messiah; but when he thought ‘as men did’ he was unable to accept Christ’s passion and death, and Christ had to call him a ‘satan’ for the one he was following.

In struggling to open ourselves to a vocation we are trying to open our minds and, more difficultly, our hearts to God. But the Enemy, the father of lies, is doing all he can to cloud our judgment and harden our heart. At times the chilling indifference with which we stand on the sidelines while our brothers and sisters suffer need, and die of hunger and thirst for the truth, is due to this action of the evil spirit. And when we go through our difficulties and trials we often forget that they are not in themselves indicators of God’s will, but may also be the action of the same evil spirit, allowed by God for our purification.

Emotions

‘They are enthusiastic for a while but then they fall away in times of trial.’ The ups and downs of our emotions often affect our openness. One day we are, and another we aren’t. One day we would give our lives for Christ, and another we say we do not know him. At one moment we want to know what he would have us do, and the next we walk away sad at what he asks. To be truly open we have to overcome the instability of our emotions. Our Christian life must not be a matter of emotions but of convictions and love.

The attraction of the world

Many things pull at our heart and mind. We have instincts and passions which have their place in God’s plan but are not the final arbiters of truth nor of God’s will. Further, it is still an understatement to say that the ‘worries and riches and pleasures’ of this life exert an enormous attraction on us through these same instincts and passions. There is a real battle to be fought at the very core of what we are, flesh and spirit, at the encounter of these two elements.

Jesus’ words here put us on guard against thinking that just because we have not out and out rejected God’s will, we are necessarily following it. The seed is not lost, it does not die for lack of moisture, but still it does not bear fruit — other things get in the way and do not let it grow. Perhaps a common fate for many a possible vocation. We don’t dare say no to it outright, but we do put it off, occupy our minds and engage our energies in activities and projects that take us away from it, and so let other things displace it. The result is the same: no fruit.

Good soil

Jesus gives here a wonderful description of the person who is truly open to his vocation, he is of ‘noble and generous heart, who hears the word and takes it to himself, and yields fruit through perseverance.’ Shouldn’t that be the description of each one of us? Isn’t that what attracts us about the saints, the living ones we see and those we read about?

How much richer we all are for the good soil God’s word found in the heart of a Pope John Paul or a Mother Theresa, and what wonderful fruit they have brought forth in their perseverance – a perseverance by which they withstood temptation, let the Word go deep into their lives and make extraordinary demands of them, and cleansed their hearts of any attachment or ambition that might smother that seed.

Christ here opens an invitation to each and everyone of us. He describes his dream for us. He tells us that this is what we can be with his grace.

ELEMENTS OF DISCERNMENT

Though ‘discernment’ is not the most important facet of a successful vocational search, let us nevertheless insist that it is necessary, and find a way to do it well.

Attitude

At the risk of repetition: if you are scared stiff of what a vocation entails, you will find it harder to be open and accept that it might be happening to you. But take heart, besides prayer there are several other relatively simple and practical means that can be of help to overcome this fear.

One is getting to know people in the walk of life (Community, Movement, Seminary...) that you are thinking of. Visit them, see that they are made out of the same stuff as you, that they had (and have) their trials, and that still they are answering the call.

Another is to try the life yourself. A visit. Long enough to get a good feel for it. If this is where God wants you, you will begin to discover the aids that God has built into that way of life for a poor, weak human being like you to be able to live it. This is a great vocation enhancer.

Another is to shake of all spiritual narcissism. Stop thinking about yourself and your gifts. Think about how best you can help others and Christ. Do not seek personal comfort.

Read. But read inspiring things. The Gospels. The Acts of the Apostles. Lives of saints. Their heroism can help us transform our attitudes. They can set our hearts on fire.

Prayer for enlightenment

There is not much — as a matter of fact there is nothing — we can do as regards getting in tune with God without the help of the Holy Spirit. This enlightenment comes through the exercise of faith, allowing faith to let us see everything in a new light. (Without faith your birth was a chance event explicable by the confluence of certain conditions; with faith your birth, life, is a gift given you by God….)

Self-knowledge

We have a certain amount of self-knowledge, but in order to be sure we are not deluded, we need the benefit of an outsider’s objectivity. We need:

Spiritual direction

We have to run by somebody else, someone we trust, our thoughts and experiences. And then heed his advice.

Signs?

We need them, but most especially we need to recognize the ones we already have. This means:

Acceptance of the ordinary

There is a certain compulsion afoot to go seeking for extraordinary signs and experiences. Here are some of the ordinary ones that we risk missing, and are more compelling: the fact that you are thinking about a vocation; your personal spiritual journey and experience; God’s providence in your life (from the gift of life itself, to the circumstances in which you have had to live it; the blessings God gave you; the trials he allowed you to go through…), all of these mark us and show us the path God has been nudging us along.

Shake off the skepticism

Idealism is no longer kosher. No wonder, in an era that has reduced love to sex and happiness to self-indulgence.

To discover your vocation and accept it you must dream and hope at least as much as the young man and woman who are getting married. You have to dream even more.

To discern a vocation you have to loosen the ties that bind us to the merely pragmatic, the distrust that our society breeds in us. You have to believe in a dimension of life and of people that is not tangible — the dimension of the spirit, the thirst for goodness and truth there in each one’s soul, untapped and unsatisfied.

You have to believe enthusiastically that Christ is more necessary to your fellowmen than the new boat, the second house, the third car or the next promotion. That society needs him more than NAFTA, the EURO or IMF handouts. That success and happiness are measured in the next life rather than in this. That eternity lasts whereas this life is passing.

You have to be ready to do what almost without exception your friends think is madness.

BALANCE IN DISCERNMENT

From the above it is clear that the step of discernment (which only has value if it is a prelude to action) involves two different aspects that could be interpreted as conflicting.

One is to intellectualize, turn it into a problem to be solved mostly in my head — although perhaps, yes, with the help of prayer — but the emphasis is on me figuring it out. The other is intuitive, an inner recognition, guided more by the movement of my heart, with the emphasis on faith, and which is often sparked by living example and direct experience.

Both have to be present. The mix will depend on the individual, but the analyst in me has to make room for the believer, and the believer has to use God’s gift of reason. And neither should forget that it is where we put our treasure that our heart will be, and that our heart more than our reason will determine our actions, at least in the long term.

So it is ultimately a question of giving God his place, and making him my treasure.







© Copyright 2007 Holy Spirit Adorations Sisters