When Should You Baptize?

[PhuturePriest]

Basically what we're saying here, FP, is that when to baptize is up to the parent's discretion and you should let your sister baptize her child when she wants to and not give her any grief about it.

 

I would never give her grief about it. That never even crossed my mind, to be honest. I just wanted to know what peoples' opinions were on how early you should baptize your children.

[Slappo]

 

Can.  867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

 

§2. An infant in danger of death is to be baptized without delay.

 

Can.  868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:

 

1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

 

2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.

 

§2. An infant of Catholic parents or even of non-Catholic parents is baptized licitly in danger of death even against the will of the parents.

 

More context for fides' jack's canon law quote.

[Slappo]

Basically what we're saying here, FP, is that when to baptize is up to the parent's discretion and you should let your sister baptize her child when she wants to and not give her any grief about it.

 

Except if she's not living up to the requirements set forth in Canon Law... Baptism isn't some optional thing that parents can choose to do when convenient.
 

 

It used to be or possibly still is common practice in the East  (Apotheun can you comment???) for the woman to stay at home with the child for 40 days and then come to the church for the first time after giving birth to recieve a blessing and begin receving the sacraments again. At that time the child would be baptized and churched. Wikipedia has an article called Churching of Women that has information on it, but I don't how accurate it is.

 

I won't vote in the poll as the options are lacking. What about the option of 15-29 days after birth? More than two weeks but less than a month. What if I think 1 month is ok but 2 months is too long (a few weeks being 3 or more, 4-5 weeks might be considered permissable under Canon Law)?

Edited April 22, 2013 by Slappo

[PhuturePriest]

Except if she's not living up to the requirements set forth in Canon Law... Baptism isn't some optional thing that parents can choose to do when convenient.
 

 

It used to be or possibly still is common practice in the East  (Apotheun can you comment???) for the woman to stay at home with the child for 40 days and then come to the church for the first time after giving birth to recieve a blessing and begin receving the sacraments again. At that time the child would be baptized and churched. Wikipedia has an article called Churching of Women that has information on it, but I don't how accurate it is.

 

I won't vote in the poll as the options are lacking. What about the option of 15-29 days after birth? More than two weeks but less than a month. What if I think 1 month is ok but 2 months is too long (a few weeks being 3 or more, 4-5 weeks might be considered permissable under Canon Law)?

 

I knew there were more options I could have done when I was making the poll. But if I made thirty separate options, that would have been excessive. If you think one month is okay but two months isn't, vote on that one and clarify with a post.

[Slappo]

My daughter was born July 24 and baptized Sept 1. We waited for my in-laws to get into town as one of them was a Godparent. It's about the longest I'd ever wait, and I was a little uncomfortable with how long of a wait it was.

 

My daughter was a week early. If she was two or three weeks early I may have required that we baptize earlier and have a stand in for my sister in law. We could then throw a baptismal party when family came in. Our priest visted within 24 hours of the baby being born to bring communion to us. I would have loved if the baptism just happened right then! It wouldn't have been following tradition though as baptisms are meant to take place in a church not a private home. circumstances of course could warrant an at home baptism - fear of death, persecution of the Church in your country, etc.

 

 

Edit to add: I don't recall if I was aware of the canonical requirement to baptize within a few weeks when Margaret was born. That may or may not have influenced me allowing 38 days between birth and baptism.

Edited April 22, 2013 by Slappo

[HisChildForever]

I was close to 2 months old before baptized

[Apotheoun]

In Eastern Christian (Catholic and Orthodox)  practice Baptism - along with Chrismation and Holy Communion - is conferred on the eighth or more commonly the fortieth day after the birth of the child.

[PhuturePriest]

In Eastern Christian (Catholic and Orthodox)  practice Baptism - along with Chrismation and Holy Communion - is conferred on the eighth or more commonly the fortieth day after the birth of the child.

 

I can't help but note the Old Testament roots of that. Do they do eight days for men and forty for women, or is this gender-neutral and depends on which Eastern Church?

[elizabeth09]

I was about 5-6 weeks old before I was baptized.  I am thinking because my birthday is close to Mother`s Day (about 2-3 weeks).

[Basilisa Marie]

Families are different. I know mine is spread out all across the country AND would make a HUGE stink about not being present for my potential future child's baptism. It doesn't seem like waiting a couple of extra weeks is going to make any difference at all in the grad scheme of things. If my kid was having complications and was in danger of death, I'd get him or her baptized. Otherwise I'm in the "wait until your family can get there" camp. 

 

Technically the norm in the Church is still adult baptism. So... yeah. 

[Basilisa Marie]

Blah double post. 

Edited April 22, 2013 by Basilisa Marie

[Apotheoun]

I can't help but note the Old Testament roots of that. Do they do eight days for men and forty for women, or is this gender-neutral and depends on which Eastern Church?

Most common forty days is done for both boys and girls. The Churching of the mother and child are done at the same time.

[Lilllabettt]

My mom had twins her first go round as a parent, so she had terrible nerves about us falling and hitting our heads and dying unbaptized. So one day while she was giving me and my sister a wash, she baptized us in the bathtub. She told no one and went through with the "real" baptism at the local parish in case the one she did "didn't take."  Mom was/is not a theologian.

 

By the time she got to #4, my brother, she was more relaxed, and he was pushing like 6 months when he got his. She just drove up with us to St  Patricks in NYC and demanded they baptize him. They said, "um no, not how it works." There was an incredible scene.  So ... they did it quick, and they just grabbed some random seminarian who was there to be the godfather. No one says no to Mom.

 

 

[Slappo]

Families are different. I know mine is spread out all across the country AND would make a HUGE stink about not being present for my potential future child's baptism. It doesn't seem like waiting a couple of extra weeks is going to make any difference at all in the grad scheme of things. If my kid was having complications and was in danger of death, I'd get him or her baptized. Otherwise I'm in the "wait until your family can get there" camp. 

 

Technically the norm in the Church is still adult baptism. So... yeah. 

 

Umm??? Source for that? Canon law requires parents have infants baptized.

 

A few weeks doesn't make a difference unless your kid gets SIDS and dies in the middle of the night. No opportunity to baptize in danger of death if you wake up and the child is already dead. Or if your child gets into a car crash on the way to a doctor's appointment. Or any number of possible things that could cause an infant to die very early and very quickly without an opportunity for baptism in danger of death. Yes those things are somewhat rare. No they are not fun to talk about, but when talking about the immortal soul of a child whom you are responsible for you have to take them into consideration.

 

The spiritual wellbeing of my children far outweighs the emotional well being of my extended family.

[Apotheoun]

I like the Eastern Christian practice, which is to give all the mysteries of initiation (Baptism, Chrismation, and Communion) to the child at the same time, so that he is a fully initiated Christian as a baby. Plus then the child can be given communion from infancy onwards.

[PhuturePriest]

My mom had twins her first go round as a parent, so she had terrible nerves about us falling and hitting our heads and dying unbaptized. So one day while she was giving me and my sister a wash, she baptized us in the bathtub. She told no one and went through with the "real" baptism at the local parish in case the one she did "didn't take."  Mom was/is not a theologian.

 

By the time she got to #4, my brother, she was more relaxed, and he was pushing like 6 months when he got his. She just drove up with us to St  Patricks in NYC and demanded they baptize him. They said, "um no, not how it works." There was an incredible scene.  So ... they did it quick, and they just grabbed some random seminarian who was there to be the godfather. No one says no to Mom.

 

Your mother sounds like an interesting woman.

[Apotheoun]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l09khpR4XVk

 

[Archaeology cat]

I like the Eastern Christian practice, which is to give all the mysteries of initiation (Baptism, Chrismation, and Communion) to the child at the same time, so that he is a fully initiated Christian as a baby. Plus then the child can be given communion from infancy onwards.

So do I.

Kieran was 2 months old when baptised. He was born at the beginning of Advent. Our parish had 1 priest, and he actually oversaw 3 parishes. He asked us to let him get through Christmas. If I were to do it over, I might've spoken to a priest I knew at the Cathedral to see if he'd do it.

Charlotte was 3 weeks old, I think. She was born the day before Palm Sunday. We had to schedule in advance, and that's when Deacon could do it (different parish run by Benedictines).

Leo was 6 weeks. We again had to schedule in advance, and then he was born at 38w1d instead of closer to his EDD. The baptism wouldve been a week earlier had my husband not been out of town. We were lucky, though, in that he was baptised in December, because now my parish does baptisms en masse once a month.

For each, we told people the date and if they made it fine, if not, fine. My first two were born in England (we're from the US), so not many came. My parents aren't Catholic and didnt care as much. My husband's parents planned to be there each time, but missed Charlotte's due to the Icelandic volcano. Godparents made it each time, but I didn't see that as imperative. I was unable to attend my godson's baptism, actually.

[Apotheoun]

I really do not understand holding off the Mysteries of Initiation, because today more than ever before I really think that small children could use the infusion of grace that comes with the Holy Mysteries, and especially with the frequent reception of Holy Communion.

[GeorgiiMichael]

I really do not understand holding off the Mysteries of Initiation, because today more than ever before I really think that small children could use the infusion of grace that comes with the Holy Mysteries, and especially with the frequent reception of Holy Communion.

 

I tend to agree with this sentiment. Although there are some benefits to waiting. For example, I worked as a Youth Minister this past year, and a majority of my high school students were going through confirmation classes, preparing for their confirmation that happened in March. The rules that my diocese has in place for the sacraments (First Holy Communion and Confirmation) is that the students have 1 year of religious ed. prior to the year of their sacrament and 1 other year while preparing for their sacrament, in addition to specific sacrament classes. These kids had such poor catechesis at home, that most of their religious education came from these programs that the parish offered. If these kids had received all of their sacraments at birth, it's unlikely that they would have gotten any sort of catechesis. And while 4 years minimum isn't a lot, it's certainly better than none.

 

If children got good catechesis at home, I would definitely prefer the way that the East distributes the sacraments. If only we lived in such a world.