Friends

[Annie12]

I ask this because almost all of my friends have walked away from our friendship.I wanted to see if others were going through the same thing as me. I'm not a bad friend. But, for some reason, people think I'm disposable because I'm Catholic. It started when I was just a little kid. I think I was 7. My friend didn't want to speak to me after she saw my scapular. It only got worse from then on. I can't help but feel hurt by this and I know my past should make be better not bitter but I just cant feel any better. Every time I speak up for the truth it seems like someone I know doesn't want to know me anymore. I try praying for them but I still feel hurt inside. I don't know how I can help this. Is this the just price of being a Catholic in these times?

[Lilllabettt]

How old are you/your friends? The very young tend to be absolutist about friendships. They will drop you like a hot potato if you disagree about whether Justin and Selena are meant to be.

[arfink]

I ask this because almost all of my friends have walked away from our friendship.I wanted to see if others were going through the same thing as me. I'm not a bad friend. But, for some reason, people think I'm disposable because I'm Catholic. It started when I was just a little kid. I think I was 7. My friend didn't want to speak to me after she saw my scapular. It only got worse from then on. I can't help but feel hurt by this and I know my past should make be better not bitter but I just cant feel any better. Every time I speak up for the truth it seems like someone I know doesn't want to know me anymore. I try praying for them but I still feel hurt inside. I don't know how I can help this. Is this the just price of being a Catholic in these times?

 

I had a thought here, and that is, you should probably watch this video by Fr. Barron:

 

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bBMOwZFpZX0[/media]

 

If you are trying to witness to the faith, you may actually be pushing too hard. Many of us assume that because the truth is true that we must say it as directly as possible, as soon as possible. This does tend to drive people away, not because we are wrong, but because they perceive an affront. You can still stick up for the truth of the faith with a more gentle witness which will be far more effective, if you coax them to open the door to their hearts by the beauty of your example and by your friendship rather than by battering the doors down by telling them what they ought to believe and what they ought to do.

 

Once they have opened themselves you will have an opportunity to tell them hard truths. Until you get that opportunity, doing so will drive your friends away.

Edited April 27, 2013 by arfink

[Annie12]

I'm not trying too hard. I think I just hang around people who are mean. Mea culpa I suppose. Because, as long as I don't tell them what I believe, they are fine. But, when they find out what I believe they leave. I'm not trying to convince them of anything and I don't bring it up randomly. If they ask me what I believe I will tell them. But, it's not like I go around like little miss know it all saying "everyone has to follow what I believe because its right". I know that would make people run away. But, on the other hand if people ask me what I believe, I'm not going to sugar coat it.  I only have a small handful of friend right now because all the rest have thought I was too catholic. I'm sorry if my Catholicism offends anyone but it's who I am. I'm not going to change because my liberal counterparts want me to. But, because of this I am always the one who ends up getting hurt. And I don't really know how to deal with the getting hurt part.

[morostheos]

Can you give an example of something that you've said that has scared friends away?

 

I have found, over time, that what I say to someone doesn't affect their response to me nearly as much as how I say it. 

 

I have definitely drifted away from friends I had little in common with, often times they are not Catholic and it makes it hard to develop close friendships since I feel like they can't understand where I am coming from. Sometimes not understanding someone else's values makes it hard to feel comfortable around them. I know for myself, when I can relate to the good in someone and understand how they see things I respect them a lot more, even if I don't agree with their conclusions. Maybe when people ask you what you believe, try to relate it to what they believe somehow? Like showing that your beliefs are based in love for each person? 

 

Obviously I don't know your friends and they could just be mean, but finding common ground is often a good first step.

[Lilllabettt]

meh. I have only ever had a "small handfull" of friends. I think its perfectly normal.

[jeffboom]

I ask this because almost all of my friends have walked away from our friendship.I wanted to see if others were going through the same thing as me. I'm not a bad friend. But, for some reason, people think I'm disposable because I'm Catholic. It started when I was just a little kid. I think I was 7. My friend didn't want to speak to me after she saw my scapular. It only got worse from then on. I can't help but feel hurt by this and I know my past should make be better not bitter but I just cant feel any better. Every time I speak up for the truth it seems like someone I know doesn't want to know me anymore. I try praying for them but I still feel hurt inside. I don't know how I can help this. Is this the just price of being a Catholic in these times?

 

Just don't try to impose your beliefs on on others. Be open to what other people are saying. Being Catholic doesn't mean that you always need to be talking about Catholic things.