Freaking Out About Housing

[OnlySunshine]

I'm having a major anxiety attack (which I'm prone to) about housing.  I submitted a housing contract today to live on-campus at the university I am enrolled at for Fall 2013.  I thought the way it would go was I would pay the fee and then select from the available room assignments.  However, it didn't go like that at all.  I posted on my university's Catholic page asking the current students about the room I'm hoping for and now they are telling me (including a former RA) that I may not get the room I want because there aren't that many.  I can still cancel the contract but there is a $300 processing fee on top of the $300 I already paid.  I'm not in a good position to pay that at all.  I just really cannot imagine living in a room with someone else because of ADD, although I am not going under documented disability.  I'm brand new to university life even though I am a junior because I graduated from a 2-year school.

 

Have any of you lived in a dorm with a roommate?  How did it work out?  I'm really hoping to talk to a housing coordinator tomorrow and I hope I don't flip my lid until then.  :(

Edited July 12, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae

[PhuturePriest]

It really is nothing to worry about. My sister's first year, she had a roommate she didn't particularly like. Fortunately, they barely talked, so it was like she didn't even have a roommate. The next year, she got a room with her friends and all was well. Just relax -- what's the worst that could possibly happen?

[homeschoolmom]

 Just relax -- what's the worst that could possibly happen?

:|

[OnlySunshine]

It really is nothing to worry about. My sister's first year, she had a roommate she didn't particularly like. Fortunately, they barely talked, so it was like she didn't even have a roommate. The next year, she got a room with her friends and all was well. Just relax -- what's the worst that could possibly happen?

 

That's the problem with anxiety -- it sends my mind into a dizzy spell and then I just start thinking of everything that can go wrong.  I can't get my mind to calm down.  :(

[OnlySunshine]

This is ridiculous!  I was all excited about moving on-campus and living on my own until I found out that I may not get the room I want.  Now I keep thinking of ways to get out of it.  :(

[Dr. Bombay]

Maybe your roommate will be your BFF and you'll grow old together in a happy and holy friendship that never would have developed if you had your own room.

 

It's just as likely as something bad.  Just sayin.

[PhuturePriest]

Maybe your roommate will be your BFF and you'll grow old together in a happy and holy friendship that never would have developed if you had your own room.

 

It's just as likely as something bad.  Just sayin.

 

This is one of those rare moments you listen to a troll.

[Era Might]

Maybe your roommate will be your BFF and you'll grow old together in a happy and holy friendship that never would have developed if you had your own room.

 

It's just as likely as something bad.  Just sayin.

 

Go home life of St. Benedict and St. Scholastica, you're drunk.

[Archaeology cat]

Freshman year: lived with my BFF.
Sophomore year: first half lived with 2 girls I didn't really know. One I became good friends with, the other we didn't dislike but never knew well. Second half I lived with a different friend, and it wasn't the best
Junior year: lived in an apt with three others, only one I knew well. She and I didn't get along that well, but the others were fine.
Senior year: lived in an apt with 5 other girls, including my BFF. It went really well

So, you never know.

[Dr. Bombay]

This is one of those rare moments you listen to a troll.

 

You might actually learn something if you listened more to your elders and spent less time telling one and all how good looking you think you are.

 

Just sayin.

[morostheos]

Lots of people get nervous about having a stranger for a roommate in college, especially since most people don't grow up sharing a room with siblings anymore. Colleges know this. Most of the time, things work out fine. Sometimes, they don't. That is what the Residential Life office at the college is for - if your roommate situation really doesn't work out, they can arrange something different for you. 

 

For me, freshman year I had two roommates - both strangers. I got along great with both of them and one is still one of my best friends.

 

Sophomore year was crazy - I started with one of my freshman roommates, then she moved out and I had my own room. Then halfway through the year the school moved me to a different room, which I shared with a girl who was coming back from an expulsion for underage drinking. She was ok, but we didn't have much in common - 8 weeks in she got kicked out again and I had my own room once again. It sounds scary, but really it was fine. 

 

Junior year I lived with one of my good friends, and senior year I was with my freshman year roommates again. 

 

 

[PhuturePriest]

You might actually learn something if you listened more to your elders and spent less time telling one and all how good looking you think you are.

 

Just sayin.

 

Life might be easier if you were a little more lighthearted about things.

 

And I don't actually talk about my looks that much. You just seem to be there every time I mention them.

[OnlySunshine]

Thanks everyone.  I'm resigning myself to not freaking out until tomorrow because there is nothing I can do about it right now.  I took some medicine and had a shower and I feel much better.  Please keep me in your prayers.

 

Plus, I'm glad that you all had pretty decent experiences with residential life.  I really want to live on-campus so I'm not wasting gas going back and forth from campus to home, especially since I am hoping to find a job either on-campus or near campus.  My classes that I plan to register for are all on Mondays and Wednesdays and I have one in the evening so it would really benefit me to not have to come home and then go to school again.  :)

[arfink]

Mater, I can relate to the problems with roommates. I also have pretty strong ADD and a learning disability and I'm a very strong introverted type, and I didn't have a good experience with hardly any of my roommates when I was in a small college style dorm. Eventually I was able to move into an apartment and much more often had space and time alone, and that was very important. Prior to that I had to go hide in a secluded corner of the library to study or things like that, I just could not stand being around people that often.

[Winchester]

It really is nothing to worry about. My sister's first year, she had a roommate she didn't particularly like. Fortunately, they barely talked, so it was like she didn't even have a roommate. The next year, she got a room with her friends and all was well. Just relax -- what's the worst that could possibly happen?

[PhuturePriest]

 

It really is nothing to worry about. My sister's first year, she had a roommate she didn't particularly like. Fortunately, they barely talked, so it was like she didn't even have a roommate. The next year, she got a room with her friends and all was well. Just relax -- what's the worst that could possibly happen?

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp9BSmxgUxs

[jazzytakara]

When I first started school I lived in resistance for my first year. It was a small room that I shared with another girl on a co-ed floor (I'd pick a same-sex floor if I were to live in residence again...). My roommate and I got along in some regards, we may have been friends had we not lived together first though. I think its best to lay out rules first, get to know what each other are comfortable with and uncomfortable with. And if something happens that you aren't comfortable with make sure you talk to with your roommate about it. For instance, my roommate and I had a fairly good understanding of not waking each other outside of normal class hours, so no late night visitors partying in the room and quiet if the other is sleeping in. However, my roommate ended up dating a guy and he began staying the night. I wasn't comfortable with it (especially when I woke up one day thinking the person under the blankets was my roommate when I began changing into my clothes and was disturbed to find it was her boyfriend who woke up at the wrong time). The first night he stayed I wasn't aware of it, so I kinda hid in the common room for hours, eventually I went to back to my room. I told my roommate that in the future we should both tell each other if we are having overnight guests be it friends, boyfriends, etc. That way we know to get ready for bed/for the day in the washroom, hide personal artifacts, and study in a quieter area. That worked out fine, because we were both mature about it and respectful of the fact that we were both paying to stay there. Also since the world is fairly liberal when it comes to 'intimacy', maybe discuss a safe word to write on your door (if your dorm door has a message board on it), or a word that can be texted, so as to avoid walking in on your roommate and their significant other(s)...  Although we got along alright, I didn't mind when she began spending her nights at her boyfriends (he had an apartment style residence, so I didn't blame her there). She was gone so often it was a surprise when she was there. 

Overall not every roommate situation will be bad, some become good friends for life, some fight, others tolerate each other and never speak again post moving out. Just remember to set ground rules, respect boundaries, and try not worry too much. Residence wasn't that bad, it had its ups and its downs, but it is a decent experience to have.

[OnlySunshine]

I feel more confident that I will have a better roommate (if I get one) because I'll be in the junior/senior residence halls.  At least then, I know, for the most part that the people are there because they want to be and are less likely to be party animals or flunkies.  When I signed the contract, I put a check mark next to "would not tolerate a smoker" because I have asthma and I hope I don't get anyone who drinks like a fish.  I certainly hope that I don't get someone who was like my sister's roommate her freshman year.  The girl was in a sorority and came back drunk (when she was underage) and was really loud.  My sister's salvation was that the girl broke her leg and, since her bed was a loft, she had to move to a disability accessible room and my sister had the room to herself for most of the year.  After that, she moved to a Christian Campus Fellowship house and lived there for the remaining 3 years.  :)

[CatholicsAreKewl]

Roommate advice (this always works for me): Try going on a dating site posing as a member of the opposite sex. Search around until you find about two or three that happen to be in the same situation you're in. Chat them up until you get to know them well enough to pop the question. 

 

Edit: it might be a good idea to tell her that you're not actually a guy before its time to sign the lease. 

Edited July 12, 2013 by CatholicsAreKewl

[OnlySunshine]

Roommate advice (this always works for me): Try going on a dating site posing as a member of the opposite sex. Search around until you find about two or three that happen to be in the same situation you're in. Chat them up until you get to know them well enough to pop the question. 

 

Edit: it might be a good idea to tell her that you're not actually a guy before its time to sign the lease. 

 

You're weird...  :|

Edited July 12, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae