Being Consecrated To God

[God's Beloved]

This is a thought coming to mind again and again. I tried to start a thread last week but couldn't find the words to express myself. Maybe it's a bit too personal and deep ?!

 

An important aspect of being Consecrated to God [ in my vocation as a Consecrated virgin ]  is being completely focused on God, living every moment of life in such a way that our Trinitarian God possesses me. I do not possess the Truth but the Truth possesses me.

 

Very often there is a thirst in my soul to remain completely consecrated to God , to think of Him, to love Him , to serve Him, to pray to Him, to let Him love me , to see Him in others ,serve Him in others , especially the last the least and the lost....as a mother , experience His presence in the beauty of Nature........

 

However in the day to day life lived 'in the world' while being 'not of this world but an eschatological image of the life in the world to come ' .....there is a paradox experienced in the heart .It is not a conflict - because I know  I Belong to God alone and completely to Him and forever . He comes first .Every other relationship on earth starts from Him.

 

While there is this beautiful desire to be with God and in God -every moment in prayer and action.......I know I do not and cannot  live in a convent or monastery. Do not have the privilege of living in the Presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I do not have the privilege of living in His presence in a community of Christians [ wherever two or three are gathered........] .

 

How do I quench my thirst for God  every moment ?  What if  I will have to spend my future in a place where there are no Christians, no Mass, no sacraments [which is a real possibility ] ?

 

Theoretically I know Jesus is within me in my heart.....but my sense of sinfulness always makes me doubt.....

 

How will I live every moment completely consecrated to God , mystically espoused to Jesus  and dedicated to the service of the Church  in such a situation ? Maybe your insights will help me to accept this cross in my life [if it comes] and still be happy. It seems it will be the life of a widow of Christ rather than an eschatological image of the church as a  Bride of Christ. I cannot understand the mystery in this paradox. :unsure:

 

 

Had put this post in the prayer room by mistake [but I do need prayers ]. Putting it now in VS

[Aya Sophia]

GB, thank you for this beautiful sharing of your vocation.

 

I have a friend in England who was in Carmel for more than twenty years and left.  She has been out for about twenty years and is now, I suppose, in her early sixties.  She is Carmelite through and through, no other spirituality having ever really mapped to her "inscape".  Yet God, life, Divine Providence lead her out of Carmel and into the perpetual desert of a life alone in the world, in a city that is, culturally and spiritually, something of a wasteland.  She is virtually alone there, without family or friends (the latter having two by two and one by one moved away, as many do who can move from this poor city).  She is, in fact, both virgin and hermit but, not having been publicaly consecrated as such, she is unknown to her Bishop and the local church community.  Hers is a life that is truly and completely hidden.  She dwells alone with God.

 

In such a life - a solitary life in the world dedicated to God, whether as a publicly consecrated person or in secret obscurity - there must be a continual back and forth between a sense of communion and a sense of isolation.  In communion we are as though immersed in God and in the mystical life of His Church, living, by God's grace, as conduits of His mercy for a world so much in need.  In isolation, we feel like a dust mote, tiny, free-floating in the universe, without references or roots, "hopeless".  The former is of the Holy Spirit.  The latter is from self "without God" and/or from the evil one and, as such, we can freely dismiss it without consideration.

 

This instability in our inner life comes, I think, both from our God-given nature and from God's action in us (now He speaks within us, now He seems silent).  Either way, whether we have a sense of unity and communion or a sense of isolation and being cut off from God and others, we are not actually cut off.  Choosing God with our will and living in grace we are actually in communion.  How do we choose God?  By acknowledging, choosing, embracing, rejoicing in (if we're given the grace to do so) His Will. 

 

So, you do already "live every moment completely consecrated to God , mystically espoused to Jesus and dedicated to the service of the Church" and can continue to do so no matter your situation, no matter the unfolding of your own salvation history.  All happens by God's supremely holy Will (signified or permissive).  You have only to continue to choose His Will.

 

A Carmelite morning offering:  My God, I awake at dawn of day to think of Thee, to serve Thee, to love Thee and to do Thy Holy Will in all things.

 

 

Edited September 30, 2013 by Aya Sophia

[Aya Sophia]

P.S. The fire of love is a Person indwellling in us - we can never be parted from Him!

[maximillion]

Yeah, well I was going to write a long rigmarole, but the two wise people above have said it.

 

Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

 

From Romans

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Edited September 30, 2013 by maximillion

[AccountDeleted]

'It seems it will be the life of a widow of Christ rather than an eschatological image of the church as a  Bride of Christ. I cannot understand the mystery in this paradox. :unsure:

 

A widow of Christ? That implies that Christ is dead. Christ lives in us, no matter where we are or what our life situation. I lived for 8 months in the Australian bush, with Mass only twice a month in a town far away from me with only 5 regular members of the congregation when there was Mass. I had no community or Blessed Sacrament or support of any kind. But I had my love for God and His love for me, my breviary, Rosary and crucifix, and my picture of Jesus on the wall. And always I had prayer.

 

A Christian never needs to be without Jesus or without the love of God. I never felt closer to Him in my life than I did during those 8 months. Being without the external supports can strengthen our faith if we remember that no matter how much we forget Him, He never forgets us.

 

 

Theoretically I know Jesus is within me in my heart.....but my sense of sinfulness always makes me doubt.....

 

We all need to have a sense of our own sinfulness, but we can use that to make us feel closer to Jesus - if we remember that He died because of those sins. Don't doubt - tell Him how much you love Him and ask Him to take care of you. No one will ever love you more than He does.

 

You'll be fine ... sing the song 'What a friend we have in Jesus' and listen to the words. Never, ever, ever do we need to be without Him.

Edited September 30, 2013 by nunsense

[Rosita]

GB,

 

Thank you for sharing your trials; that takes courage. It sounds like you are sharing in the same thirst of Jesus on the cross.

 

Though I'm still discerning my vocation, I can relate to some of your struggles. When I struggle with the feelings of isolation creeping into my soul, the Holy Spirit has helped me see that those moments are when I'm most attuned to all kinds of loneliness in the world, including His and Our Lady's.

 

 

I will keep you in my prayers.

 

 

 

 

 

[God's Beloved]

After reading the responses above  I feel

 

Lord , You have touched my heart [ through each one of  you ] and left me speechless

 

Silence is all I need ,to sing Your Praise !

 

Thank you !