Hilarious Communion Experiences

[Julie de Sales]

One time, while in line for Communion, I had decided that I wanted to show more reverence to Jesus and genuflect before receiving. However, I didn't do this while the person in front of me was receiving the Eucharist, but before I did, when the priest lift up the host. It took me a couple of seconds to stand up again, and after Mass my sister laughed at me saying how silly I looked...(nobody genuflects at my parish). But I was still glad I did it ;)

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

We had a wonderful young and very fervent Polish priest at one point who lived in our parish.  He was in the United States primarily to learn English, and he also served  the members of the Polish-speaking Community in our city.   There weren't enough of them to form an entire parish, so he boarded at our parish and provided them with Mass and sacraments on Sundays and as needed.  And he helped out with Sunday masses in our parish.  We knew he was reading his sermon straight from the sermon-help books, and usually we could ALMOST understand what he said, for his accent was VERY strong.  I'm not sure what part of Poland he was from, but I gather it must have been somewhere near the mountains....

 

Those of us who were Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion received a surprise the first time we went up to receive the chalice from Father.  I want to stress this was a VERY holy priest who was truly trying to focus on the Lord, and who would not have done something to mar the moment in a million years.  He was also drop-dead gorgeous, tall with dark hair and piercing eyes, and a most engaging smile.  (Yes, this really is relevant).  And the nicest guy in the world!

 

So imagine what it was like to approach him, have him hold up the Precious Blood, and hear him say, most reverently:

 

 

 

 

 

The Blooooood of Chriiiiiiist   

 

 

 

(sounding EXACTLY like every Count Dracula imitation you have ever heard.)

 

 

The worst part was, after the first week... we knew what to expect.    And that the entire congregation was watching, having no idea what was being said or that the EMHCs were truly struggling.... not to just lose it....

 

We had a Polish priest (visitng while pastor was on sabattical) who spoke English very well, but had a higher voice. My friends and I could not get the voice of him and Groo from Despicale Me out of our heads, now we say to each other "Fr. Groo!" My parents thought he sounded like Borat

XD

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

1. At my sister's school the EMHC was a high school girl at Baccalaureate Mass. She didn't know about Communion on the tongue so I had to receive in my hand. She looked so confused!

2. Every time I receive Communion, now that I kneel down to do so, I'm very, very low down. I'm just under 5 foot so you can guess it's far for the priest/minister to reach!

3. When I had braces for 2 years it was always awkward because I would "open wide" and show my braces to the priest/minister, and I was always afraid Jesus would get stuck in them! I always had to be careful that I didn't have any food in my braces lest I swallow it durng Mass and have to miss Communion!

Fact: I've never received Jesus under the species of His Blood. I want to save it for a special day, whatever that might be.

 

[Maggyie]

1. At my sister's school the EMHC was a high school girl at Baccalaureate Mass. She didn't know about Communion on the tongue so I had to receive in my hand. She looked so confused!

2. Every time I receive Communion, now that I kneel down to do so, I'm very, very low down. I'm just under 5 foot so you can guess it's far for the priest/minister to reach!

3. When I had braces for 2 years it was always awkward because I would "open wide" and show my braces to the priest/minister, and I was always afraid Jesus would get stuck in them! I always had to be careful that I didn't have any food in my braces lest I swallow it durng Mass and have to miss Communion!

Fact: I've never received Jesus under the species of His Blood. I want to save it for a special day, whatever that might be.

 

Just so you know, while it's great  you keep your braces clean (your orthodontist thanks you) if you were to accidentally swallow a crumb that got stuck on your braces, that is not considered breaking the fast at all. It has to be intentionally eating something.

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

Just so you know, while it's great  you keep your braces clean (your orthodontist thanks you) if you were to accidentally swallow a crumb that got stuck on your braces, that is not considered breaking the fast at all. It has to be intentionally eating something.

Thank you! That's very good to know, I didn't realize that. Thank the Lord I no longer have braces :)

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

Today at Mass I sat in the front pew. I've been getting over a cold and my throat got dry by the end of Mass. I almost had a cough attack while everyone was making Thanksgiving, but I tried to hold it in. Meanwhile I needed to blow my nose. By the end I looked like I was crying which I never do in Mass. And I had to take my retainer out during Mass because I forgot to before hand, ah! Goes to show what waiting til the last hour to do homework and getting 4 hours sleep does to you.

[Comingback]

This happened back when I was Episcopalian.  I was a Lay Eucharistic minister and was bringing the cup.  At our church, people knelt in groups at the "altar rail."  I got to a little girl.   I think she was 7.  I said, "The blood of Christ, given for you."  She looked in the cup, then up at me and said, "No, thank you, that's okay."  

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

This happened back when I was Episcopalian. I was a Lay Eucharistic minister and was bringing the cup. At our church, people knelt in groups at the "altar rail." I got to a little girl. I think she was 7. I said, "The blood of Christ, given for ou." She looked in the cup, then up at me and said, "No, thank you, that's okay."

Finally! A little kids who's taught proper manners, even if she practices them in an unfitting setting xD Edited October 30, 2013 by Mary+Immaculate<3

[ChristinaTherese]

A few weeks ago the priest dropped the host he was elevating for me. I just kind of stopped in the middle of saying "amen" to look and find out where It had gone. Only as far as my sleeve, fortunately.

 

Today I took the chalice... and It spilled onto my shirt, sweater, and skirt. I stood there in shock for a moment, and then ran to the back to catch the priest as soon as Mass was over so I could ask him what to do. When I got back to my apartment I (on the advice of a friend, who might not have been thinking of anything that looked quite so sketchy) took some amount of tools and went out in front of my apartment building to sit under a bush and wash my clothes as well as I could, although that wasn't particularly well. (But if we're taking the washing of sacred vessels after Mass for an example, I suppose I should try to wash them in such a way that the water drains into the ground. So, that seemed like the best plan.)

[AuthorOfMyLife]

We had a wonderful young and very fervent Polish priest at one point who lived in our parish.  He was in the United States primarily to learn English, and he also served  the members of the Polish-speaking Community in our city.   There weren't enough of them to form an entire parish, so he boarded at our parish and provided them with Mass and sacraments on Sundays and as needed.  And he helped out with Sunday masses in our parish.  We knew he was reading his sermon straight from the sermon-help books, and usually we could ALMOST understand what he said, for his accent was VERY strong.  I'm not sure what part of Poland he was from, but I gather it must have been somewhere near the mountains....

 

Those of us who were Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion received a surprise the first time we went up to receive the chalice from Father.  I want to stress this was a VERY holy priest who was truly trying to focus on the Lord, and who would not have done something to mar the moment in a million years.  He was also drop-dead gorgeous, tall with dark hair and piercing eyes, and a most engaging smile.  (Yes, this really is relevant).  And the nicest guy in the world!

 

So imagine what it was like to approach him, have him hold up the Precious Blood, and hear him say, most reverently:

 

 

 

 

 

The Blooooood of Chriiiiiiist   

 

 

 

(sounding EXACTLY like every Count Dracula imitation you have ever heard.)

 

 

The worst part was, after the first week... we knew what to expect.    And that the entire congregation was watching, having no idea what was being said or that the EMHCs were truly struggling.... not to just lose it....

 

Oh, my... With your permission, I am going to HAVE to use this priest as inspiration for a fictional character. This is just so picturesque!

[PhuturePriest]

Wait -- You wanted to avoid an argument, so you put this in Vocation Station? Am I the only one who sees the flaw here? Also, you can hardly start an argument over accidents with the Eucharist.

[AnneLine]

AuthorOfMyLife... you are welcome.   :)  You might say a prayer for him and his parishioners, as a way of 'paying' for use of his character.  ;)

 

FP... respectfully... it was a difficult time on Phatmass when that was originally posted, so yes, that made sense at that time.....   Move on..... let's not re-live that time period....

Edited November 4, 2013 by AnneLine

[PhuturePriest]

In all my years of being Catholic, I've thankfully never dropped the Eucharist. However, once I went up, and I opened my mouth to receive on the tongue. The lady seemed unaccustomed to this, so when she tried to place it on my tongue the Host dropped. Thankfully, my black belt reflexes came in and I caught the Host on my arm.