Klarisse Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 When contacting a monastic community for the first time, how long is it best to wait before following up if there isn't a response? In case if it's relevant, they have no web presence at all. I sent a letter on or shortly after December 12th. The address in my record matches the one I saw in multiple sources online, though it's always possible I wrote it incorrectly or the letter never reached them for some other reason. I could call or write another letter (with a sheet of stamps enclosed in case if they had run out,) but I'm not really sure what would be appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristinaTherese Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Well, it could be that they've been busy lately, what with Advent and Christmas. I mean, they got the letter a tiny bit before the novena just before Christmas. Then there was the Octave of Christmas. That takes us up to the beginning of this month possibly. And, I don't know, there might be other things that have happened since then. (Or your letter could have been lost in the mail, misplaced, or accidentally forgotten. I would probably be wondering if that was the case if it was me, but I can be impatient....) And I have no experience with how long communities can take to answer snail mail.... I'll be writing for the first time in the next month or two or three. (I'm waiting until I've been Catholic for at least something close to a year.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthfinder Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 One monastery I wrote to routinely took a month to respond - and that was not during the times of advent/Christmas and Lent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klarisse Posted January 19, 2014 Author Share Posted January 19, 2014 I think someone on another thread had mentioned that some communities wait until after the penitential seasons to read mail. Is that the main way that Advent and Lent would affect when a response comes, coupled with preparations for Christmas and Easter and catching up afterwards? I could wait until February before following up. When my parents ordered some items, the nuns from their parent community (for lack of a better term) had sent the items during Advent, though maybe the demands of selling items require faster responses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klarisse Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 (edited) Okay, there still is no response. I figure my options are these, though I'm really not sure what is appropriate. I would be very surprised if I get a response without taking any action at this point, though. 1. Wait (for any given period of time) 2. Send a follow-up letter reiterating the original one in case if it never reached them 3. Send a follow-up letter and enclose stamps (which might either be pushy or useful - I just know I've seen people suggest them as gifts to give, so they might need them just in general.) 4. Call them and leave a message asking if they have received a letter from me that would have arrived in mid-December, since I know that the phone number online is correct from inquiring about the feast of St. Clare last year Edited February 2, 2014 by Klarisse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 In the monasteries of old, when a young man would walk up to their door and knock, and ask if they would be considered for the community, the abbot would slam the door in his face. If he came back, he would do it again. If he came back a third time, it would tell the abbot he was dedicated, and he would let him in. This could be them testing your patience and how dedicated you are, or it could just be they forgot or it never arrived in the first place. I don't think another letter would be inappropriate, especially if you wrote a small explanation in it about how if you weren't sure the first letter arrived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I'd just send them a friendly follow-up letter, enclose a copy of the first one if you have one, and see what happens. My bet is the first one went astray. It isn't likely they haven't opened it by now... and if you wait any longer, you'll run into Lent. Praying for you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klarisse Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 Thank you for the advice. I'll edit the earlier letter to explain the situation and re-send it. Thankfully I saved a copy, and Lent starts notably later than last year. FuturePriest, that sounds very similar to what God has arranged for me in the last few months, so He might very well be working on my lack of patience. For the young adult group here, I went so far as going to a restaurant for an event on one of the two possible dates (after calling the provided phone number twice with no success.) Though the restaurant had marked that day down to prepare for the group, no one else showed up. I have yet to get the correct contact information. It should be interesting to see how much hoop jumping it takes to succeed in making contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 This could be them testing your patience and how dedicated you are... This is not something that I understand, and I would likely change my mind about discerning with a community if they deliberately delayed a response for several weeks for no other reason than to test my patience. If I did something like this in my state of life (which I realize is a different situation), I would bring it to Confession as an offense against charity; why would it be normal and okay for them to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 This is not something that I understand, and I would likely change my mind about discerning with a community if they deliberately delayed a response for several weeks for no other reason than to test my patience. If I did something like this in my state of life (which I realize is a different situation), I would bring it to Confession as an offense against charity; why would it be normal and okay for them to do? Obvious, your patience needs working on. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Obvious, your patience needs working on. ;) Yes, it does, but that is a separate problem. :hehe2: I realize that it is up to the community what their 'typical' response time should be, and if that was a community were I belonged, deliberate communication delays would not be an insurmountable obstacle; but I don't belong in that community. I would not feel safe and respected (I mean just a general respect for other human beings, not a special respect because I'm so awe-some). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 You can have your thread back, Klarisse...now that I killed it... :paperbag: (My insomnia is deadly for threads.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I realize that it is up to the community what their 'typical' response time should be, and if that was a community were I belonged, deliberate communication delays would not be an insurmountable obstacle... ...and there wasn't much of a reason to bring it up except to vent a little, so I apologize if I caused offense. :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Perhaps a religious community is not purposely taking a long time to reply but rather that God is allowing that time to teach something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klarisse Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 You can have your thread back, Klarisse...now that I killed it... :paperbag: (My insomnia is deadly for threads.) Haha, I thought I was sure to kill it with the last post, so maybe you resuscitated it. :) It would probably give me pause for thought if a community purposefully delayed their response, but something happening to it or to a response in-transit seems much more likely. It would also fit in with the theme of running into accidentally erected, non-communicative brick walls of late. For all I know, they have a paper-loving dog that ate it. I put the follow-up in the mailbox this morning, so now I'll just have to wait again. Not that I'm doing a very good job of it on a subconscious level; when arriving home tonight, I started looking at the mailbox wondering if the response arrived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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