Writing My Own Pastoral Letter Of Recommendation

[SilentJoy]

I'm planning to volunteer at a Monastery this summer and they asked for a reference from my priest.

 

I'm in a parish of 1500+ families and the priest sees me when I come to daily Mass but otherwise doesn't really know me. The Monastery understands this and said that the reference could be very generic.

 

The priest and parish secretary asked me to write the letter and they'll type it up with Father's letterhead and signature.   :hehe2:

 

I'm thinking maybe I could add a few personality upgrades...perhaps "saintly" would be a little over the top; I'm thinking more along the lines of "charming, obsequious (NOT obsequies!), good with small dogs and children..."

 

Any template suggestions for a generic pastoral reference?

[maximillion]

http://www.smcdsb.on.ca/UserFiles/Servers/Server_6/File/Board%20Office%20Files/Careers/General%20Files/Pastoral%20Reference%20Template.pdf

[AnneLine]

That's a great template, Max... may keep that around for future reference for similar letters or reference.

 

SilentJoy... this is one of those times to keep your (wonderfully) overgrown sense of humor and ridiculousness in check.... reference letters are a pretty standardized business.  Really, all they want to know is that the parish knows who you are and that they don't have any reason to NOT want to recommend you spend a few days/weeks/months with the sisters.

 

You want your pastor to feel that it could have come from him when he signs it.  He could always add a handwritten comment or two if he chooses to do so.

 

I had to ask one from my pastor a while back, when I applied to grad school.  I think all it said was that I had been in the parish for ___ years, that he thought I was a nice person to have in the parish, and I think he said I was active in some ministries.   Literally, that was all it said.

 

Does that help?

[SilentJoy]

 

SilentJoy... this is one of those times to keep your (wonderfully) overgrown sense of humor and ridiculousness in check.... reference letters are a pretty standardized business.  Really, all they want to know is that the parish knows who you are and that they don't have any reason to NOT want to recommend you spend a few days/weeks/months with the sisters.

 

I knooowwww.... :pinch: The "obsequious" thing was a poor attempt at a joke that died on Phatmass and crawled no further (though the alarm is understandable). I can write a professional letter; I just wasn't sure what it would need to say.

 

Thanks, Maximillion, for the template!

[AnneLine]

:)  I thought so.    We just want you to give BEST impression (and not of James Stewart, either!)

[AnneLine]

But this is a WONDERFUL reference by James Stewart for his dear friend, Harvey....

 

[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fAP2fPn2mg[/media]

[maximillion]

I'm sure James Stewart will write you a good one!

[SilentJoy]

I think that a cause for his canonization might need to be opened first... :hehe2:

[ChristinaTherese]

So, does that explain the really tall bunny outside of Harvey Marine?

[ChristinaTherese]

So, does that explain the really tall bunny outside of Harvey Marine?

Okay, I just found an answer here: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2191 I just knew it as a landmark, but the fact that the bunny is named Harvey made me curious after that YouTube clip. I didn't even know of the existence of that movie before, after all.

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

What a tempting opportunity! I had a laugh when I read your "suggestions".

But I really can't believe they asked you to write it and they would sign it. Makes me discouraged!

[SilentJoy]

What a tempting opportunity! I had a laugh when I read your "suggestions".

But I really can't believe they asked you to write it and they would sign it. Makes me discouraged!

Yes Sister, it was a little bit of a surprise...I'd asked a month earlier and the priest said he would be willing to write one, but I think he might feel too busy (I'm sure he was planning to look it over before signing).

 

I explained to situation to the Monastery and asked if this was going to meet their needs or if they would accept a reference from someone else in the parish; they preferred something from the priest, but they didn't want a "fake" reference either, so I'll just ask someone else.   :hehe2:

[OnlySunshine]

Yes Sister, it was a little bit of a surprise...I'd asked a month earlier and the priest said he would be willing to write one, but I think he might feel too busy (I'm sure he was planning to look it over before signing).

 

I explained to situation to the Monastery and asked if this was going to meet their needs or if they would accept a reference from someone else in the parish; they preferred something from the priest, but they didn't want a "fake" reference either, so I'll just ask someone else.   :hehe2:

 

It seemed odd to me, too, that the priest was willing to sign something that someone else wrote because it wouldn't be his own words.  I think it would be more genuine if you asked a volunteer coordinator from a ministry you are active in (and have been for a while) as they get to know you better than the priest does.  A priest has so many parish duties and cannot devote much of his time to one person.

 

I once needed a recommendation letter from 3 people for a career portfolio I had to put together for one of my classes last summer.  I asked 2 of my professors and the coordinator for the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (at the time; he's training to be a deacon so someone else took over) and the EMHC letter was the best one because I got to know the coordinator well.  I had regular contact with him.

 

Just a suggestion.  ;)

[Lilllabettt]

This is a standard practice in the professional and academic world, especially if you are asking for a letter from someone higher up in the management structure.  Many of these people do not regularly write ANY of their own correspondence.  They give dictation, then someone types up their ideas with nicer words and sends it off. This is how the American president handles his correspondence. 

 

It's super awkward for the person who has to write their own letter. But its done all the time. 

 

 

 

 

[ClemensBruno]

This is a standard practice in the professional and academic world, especially if you are asking for a letter from someone higher up in the management structure. 

 

It is highly reckless to make broad proclamations with such bedrock certainty, especially concerning a topic about which one so obviously knows so little.

 

There is nothing "standard" about this practice.  It may occur for various unavoidable reasons, but it is ALWAYS unwise for both the recommender and recommendee to provide.  In organizations concerned with their reputation, this practice is unethical.  Furthermore, those who review letters of recommendation can easily spot the bogus ones.  Hence, such letters tend to hurt the recommendee's application.  This is especially true for coveted spots or positions.  For those who devalue such letters or care little for ethical standards, all bets are off, i.e., I am ignorant of such parties.

 

This bit of insight comes from someone who has direct experience in the matter from many angles.

 

SilentJoy, this in no way should be construed as a comment about your situation because I cannot make a sound judgement on the bits of information you provide from your limited perspective, however sincere it may be.  If the letter of recommendation is simply a formality, then why would anyone bother with the effort to write one, let alone read it?

[AnneLine]

Actually.... I think it does happen a lot... I had it happen to me with 3 separate pastors.   

 

AND.. it isn't ideal, but it really is the reality a lot of the time.   Many of our pastors are the only priest (or only one of two priests) and they do the best they can.

 

It does NOT mean they don't write the recommendation, just that they want some idea of what is needed for content, and then they build on that framework.

 

ClemensBruno, I was kind of horrified the first time it happened... startled the second, and resigned the third.

 

We have the same issue with getting recommendations for people entering our Secular Order.  We have to have two of them.  Many pastors simply won't write them.   We now ask for recommendations from a priest, religous or member of the Secular Order.

 

Really all we want to know is is the person someone who will benefit from membership in a Secular Order, will the person be someone we want to have in the community, and definitely, is the person NOT an axe-murderer.   

 

I've written many, many letters for others, and I will often talk to the person for a while about what is wanted and I like to write my own.... but if I didn't have time to talk to the person, I'd take a draft and then build off that.... but I do feel like I need to know the person well before I would write one.  Sadly many communities will ONLY take one from the pastor, and so then you run into this scenario.

 

 

[Lilllabettt]

It is highly reckless to make broad proclamations with such bedrock certainty, especially concerning a topic about which one so obviously knows so little.

 

There is nothing "standard" about this practice.  

 

 

Sorry to burst your bubble. 

Maybe you haven't handled recommendations from higher up people. It happens a lot. 

I am privy to the application process at the finest research institution in the world, and it is common practice here. Everyone is aware of it. The graduate students who have to do it complain loudly about how awkward it is.

I don't see it as an ethical question. The recommender reads the letter, and if they concur with what is said there, they sign it. It is an icky position for the person who has to write the letter tooting their own horn to the person who will sign it. Asking a lower level person who knows you better and can take the time  to write a rec themselves can result in a more effective letter. But its not an ethical question. 

[ClemensBruno]

Actually.... I think it does happen a lot... I had it happen to me with 3 separate pastors. . . .

Allow me to clarify...

My related experience is solely within the professional and academic spheres. Sadly, I am ignorant of the state of such letters in the pastoral world.

If you are right, AnneLine, then I am greatly concerned. Such practices are an open invitation to abuse.

Throughout my discernment process, I have always expected and received "real" letters of recommendation. In the one case in which the required recommender was a mere acquaintance, I made sure he knew me very well before I asked him to write a letter or recommendation.

[ClemensBruno]

Sorry to burst your bubble.
Maybe you haven't handled recommendations from higher up people. It happens a lot.
I am privy to the application process at the finest research institution in the world, and it is common practice here.

Aah. So, you saw it as standard practice in the ONE research institution--a far cry from your earlier blanket proclamation of its prevalence "in the professional and academic world".

Really, Lilllabettt, you will be a better person if you tempered your vanity, and avoid reckless statements like,

1) "Many of these people do not regularly write ANY of their own correspondence".

2) "They give dictation, then someone types up their ideas with nicer words and sends it off."

3) "This is how the American president handles his correspondence."

I fear you are completely unaware of how such ludicrous pronouncements reflect poorly on your character.

[Nunsuch]

I am a tenured professor at a major research university. I have ALWAYS written all my own letters of recommendation. These can run up to three pages long for doctoral students, and well over a page even for undergraduates. My colleagues all do the same. And so did all the professors at the major research university where I earned my PhD.