Missionaries Of Charity

[AnneLine]

And it is WONDERFUL to see Nunsense back again.   I realize health is an issue for her, but if Indwelling Trinity sees this thread and is able to post, she may be able to contribute more because she lived as an MC for a number of years before she transferred to Carmel.

[OnlySunshine]

Not that I want to sway you from the MCs or anything (especially if that really is your vocation), but if you decide to look at other orders, I thought I should mention some interesting things that I witnessed while on retreat with the CFRs in January 2010.  I know quite a bit about them because I see them often, but this was the first time I had been in their convents.

 

• They do not have a microwave.  All food is cooked on the stovetop in a pan/skillet or in the oven.  Even items that are reheated are done on the stove.
• Two of their convents have a food pantry handout on Saturdays and one of those convents has a soup kitchen on Saturday, as well.  They use this time to evangelize and give prayerful support as well as Catholic trinkets (rosaries, scapulars, medals, etc) and literature if the person is interested.  I helped in the soup kitchen and organized the drawers of trinkets so I was able to see, first hand, how it's done.  It was amesome.
• The Sisters and Friars eat what they are given.  Their preference is to abstain from meat on Friday, but if they are given meat and this is all they have, they use it and offer a penance in its place.  It's another way of understanding poverty - the homeless can't choose what they are given to eat.
• The Sisters and Friars only set up convents and friaries in the poorest locations where the need is greatest.  Once the need is no longer there, they leave.  One of the poorest locations is Harlem.  They don't buy the property, either.  It is given to them as a donation and stays in the person's name.  They don't any property at all.

For more information outside of a visit (which I HIGHLY recommend), I suggest reading "The Drama of Reform."  That book helped me understand the lifestyle and poverty of the CFRs and how they came into existence.  It made me appreciate and respect them even more.  I just wish I was called there.  I love their order but my visit was entirely neutral.

Edited May 16, 2014 by MaterMisericordiae

[AveMariaPurissima]

I haven't bought a book in years unless it was from a thrift shop. So one word for you...

 

LIBRARY.

 

Even if your local library doesn't have a copy of the book, almost all libraries can do 'inter-library loans' to get a book for you from another library.

 

There is an online library locator and catalogue that can also be of help locating a library near you or particular book:

 

 

As for finding time to read - I always keep a book in my bathroom - there are always occasions when I need a little extra time there and reading is a good way to pass the time... :P

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The library is wonderful. :D

 

As a sidenote, I just ordered "An Unquenchable Thirst" from the library myself.

Edited May 17, 2014 by AveMariaPurissima

[Lucia]

Thanks to everyone for all the suggestions- I will look into the communties some of you mentioned.  

 

-MasterMisericordia--Thanks for all the info on the CFR's--i was trying to see if I could PM you to get more info on them--and then saw your post re your observations from when you visited in 2010!  I had a chance to see a few of the friars in action and they are just awesome.  It really made me start thinking about the CFR sisters more.  

 

My only concern is I do have a health issue, diabetes which is perfectly managed, so I think these communities are probably not where the Lord is leading me.

[OnlySunshine]

Thanks to everyone for all the suggestions- I will look into the communties some of you mentioned.  

 

-MasterMisericordia--Thanks for all the info on the CFR's--i was trying to see if I could PM you to get more info on them--and then saw your post re your observations from when you visited in 2010!  I had a chance to see a few of the friars in action and they are just amesome.  It really made me start thinking about the CFR sisters more.  

 

My only concern is I do have a health issue, diabetes which is perfectly managed, so I think these communities are probably not where the Lord is leading me.

 

The only way you would find out for sure is to ask the CFRs.  I know there is at least one Sister who was admitted with arthritis but I don't know if she takes medication for it.  With the new health insurance laws, things may have changed for their healthcare needs.  Sr. Mary Pieta, the VD, could help you out.  I've met her and she's awesome.  :)

 

BTW, I have my PMs turned off right now because I'm in school so I'm keeping my posting to a minimum.  ;)

[Lucia]

The only way you would find out for sure is to ask the CFRs.  I know there is at least one Sister who was admitted with arthritis but I don't know if she takes medication for it.  With the new health insurance laws, things may have changed for their healthcare needs.  Sr. Mary Pieta, the VD, could help you out.  I've met her and she's amesome.  :)

 

BTW, I have my PMs turned off right now because I'm in school so I'm keeping my posting to a minimum.  ;)

I actually randomly met sister mary pieta, had no idea who she was and had a conversation with her about something unrelated to vocational discernment.  I only found out afterward that she was sister mary pieta...the VD! She is indeed awesome.  Its funny because I think she could tell I had an interest in religious life.

 

Good luck with the end of the semester.

Edited May 21, 2014 by Lucia

[Era Might]

Just wanted to add that I know the MC sisters not as a discerner but as one of the poor they serve. I laughed above at the person who said they are very Indian because one of the main Sisters who serves where I am is a stereotypical no-nonsense Indian, but she has to be that way, she fits in perfectly, she's able to deal with the poor who aren't always easy to deal with, but I see a hidden beauty in her soul. I love the MCs, they're a special breed.

Edited May 28, 2016 by Era Might

[lmsb1231]

Hi,

I was an aspirant with the MC's (10 months with the actives, and 10 months with the contemplatives). If a young woman is interested in joining, she has to make a 2 week Come and See at the convent. If she and the community feel she is called to join, she needs 1 recommendation from a priest, and medical exam, and a 2 page application which they give. There is no psych test.

For the actives, you can enter either in January or June... but for the contemplatives, entrance date is more flexible, since their branch is smaller. My time with the actives was beautiful but very hard too- days go by very fast because you're always on the move! The actives have a dorm room the sisters share (one big room with simple wooden beds and a thin "pad" to sleep on). You wake up at 4:40 in the morning and go to bed between 9:45-10 pm (depends how fast you can get ready for bed!). The life is labor intensive- manual labor plays a large part in their spirituality of "doing little things with great love"- there's 4-6 hours of manual labor a day-- I remember washing clothes by hand everyday, cleaning the men's shelter (toilets/dorm rooms, washing sheets and blankets by hand), working in the soup kitchen (chopping fruits/ veggies, washing dishes, mopping the floor), cleaning the homes of the poor we visited, heavy lifting (boxes, crates of food, furniture), walking for miles to visit the poor, and house work (we usually mop the floor with a towel almost everyday). You need a strong stomach for the food- in the morning you must eat 3 pieces of bread usually dipped in oil (not butter) and a fruit at minimum, at lunch you must eat two scoops of veggies, two scoops of rice, a portion of meat, and one fruit, for dinner you have the leftovers.

 

Physical and psychological health is VERY VERY IMPORTANT. The sisters felt the life was too physically demanding for me (I fell asleep in prayer a lot because I felt so tired!). Pscyholgoically you must be strong- they had never required psych testing for candidates in the past, so now they're having the issue of having some professed sisters who have psych. weaknesses and are in need of care. Community life is very closely knit- you're within a few feet of your sisters at all times of the day (nap time, prayer, apostolate). The life is fast paced and you're expected to fulfill many duties well/efficiently, at times there might be more work than the time allotted, and this can be a point of tension for community life. No community is perfect- there's holy sisters and some still striving, but the issue of having some sisters with psych. weaknesses that you have to work closely with makes it necessary to have strong psych. health (think of what St. Therese went through in the convent). 

 

There's many joys in the life too. Community life has it's challenges, but I also have some of the best memories living in community. In the world they use the phrase "if you work hard, you play hard"- this is true for the MC's- they work hard, so at recreations are full of laughter, exciting stories, and fun! In the religious life world, MC's are known as the "party nuns" lol- on feast days, they go all out- I remember being in plays/skits with full costume (spiritual AND hilarious), learning dances and songs, playing volleyball, and playing/singing praise and worship songs on guitar with the sisters. 

 

The apostolate with the poor was amazing, no other words can describe it. The sisters go two by two, and you have to go out of your comfort zone, you grow in boldness. What I mean is, you don't get to choose your apostolate- the superiors decide and you obey (part of the spirituality of "loving trust, total surrender, and cheerfulness"). I remember knocking on doors of strangers asking to pray with them/share the Bible with them, teaching catechism to 1st graders in Spanish (I don't even know a lot of Spanish lol!), visiting teens at the juvenile hall, and preparing an ex-prostitute for Confession. Seeing how God touches the lives of the poor through the order was so beautiful, there were little miracles each day. 

 

I think there might be stuff I left out, but feel free to message me if you have any questions at all!  God bless

 

~Lauren

[katherineH]

Just a few words of caution about An Unquenchable Thirst: there is a significant amount of sexual content, as the author breaks her vow of chastity with a priest and another sister in the community (and maybe a few other people if my memory is correct).  She is very transparent about her experiences in an effort to show how her thought processes evolved over the years and how she came to view herself as a sexual being.  It felt a bit gratuitous at times but I understand why it's in the book. So yeah, this book is very informative and illuminating but definitely R-rated.

[Era Might]

3 hours ago, katherineH said:

Just a few words of caution about An Unquenchable Thirst: there is a significant amount of sexual content, as the author breaks her vow of chastity with a priest and another sister in the community (and maybe a few other people if my memory is correct).  She is very transparent about her experiences in an effort to show how her thought processes evolved over the years and how she came to view herself as a sexual being.  It felt a bit gratuitous at times but I understand why it's in the book. So yeah, this book is very informative and illuminating but definitely R-rated.

Is that common in religious life? Just curious.

3 hours ago, katherineH said:

Just a few words of caution about An Unquenchable Thirst: there is a significant amount of sexual content, as the author breaks her vow of chastity with a priest and another sister in the community (and maybe a few other people if my memory is correct).  She is very transparent about her experiences in an effort to show how her thought processes evolved over the years and how she came to view herself as a sexual being.  It felt a bit gratuitous at times but I understand why it's in the book. So yeah, this book is very informative and illuminating but definitely R-rated.

Wow, reading the reviews of the book make me look at the sisters in a different light. I wonder what passes through their minds, what they have to suppress. I feel bad for them.

[vee]

The one urge she really couldnt suppress was the desire to make money off the whole thing!

[beatitude]

5 hours ago, Era Might said:

Is that common in religious life? Just curious.

Wow, reading the reviews of the book make me look at the sisters in a different light. I wonder what passes through their minds, what they have to suppress. I feel bad for them.

This is quite patronising. If you're going to continue eating the sisters' food, at least do them the courtesy of not speculating on their lives on the basis of other people's Amazon reviews of one woman's account of her experiences. It reminds me of the time when I'd given up listening to music for Lent, and an atheist friend got all hot and bothered about it and said he wasn't going to listen to me talk about how I was 'depriving' myself because it was upsetting for him to hear how I make my life harder. He knew one person who had developed severe OCD that she attributed to Catholicism, and he persisted in thinking that I must be having a similar experience to her.

A former MC (Indwelling Trinity) has commented in the past that she was in the convent with the author of An Unquenchable Thirst and that the author appeared to have significant and quite unusual problems that emerged during her time with the sisters. I don't think it's fair to dismiss her as a money-grubber, but nor is it fair to assume that she is somehow typical of all the sisters.

[Era Might]

2 hours ago, beatitude said:

This is quite patronising. If you're going to continue eating the sisters' food, at least do them the courtesy of not speculating on their lives on the basis of other people's Amazon reviews of one woman's account of her experiences. It reminds me of the time when I'd given up listening to music for Lent, and an atheist friend got all hot and bothered about it and said he wasn't going to listen to me talk about how I was 'depriving' myself because it was upsetting for him to hear how I make my life harder. He knew one person who had developed severe OCD that she attributed to Catholicism, and he persisted in thinking that I must be having a similar experience to her.

A former MC (Indwelling Trinity) has commented in the past that she was in the convent with the author of An Unquenchable Thirst and that the author appeared to have significant and quite unusual problems that emerged during her time with the sisters. I don't think it's fair to dismiss her as a money-grubber, but nor is it fair to assume that she is somehow typical of all the sisters.

I speculate on everything based on everything. Of course, I know the religious personality quite well, from experience and from many sources. I don't assume that every monk is Thomas Merton, but I do expect to glean something about monks from Thomas Merton's experience. Anyway, I was interestred in the Amazon reviews because I've observed the MCs myself and wondered about what drives them, just as I wonder about what drives a bus driver, or a bridal shop clerk. People are people, the fuller picture we have the better. 

[beatitude]

1 hour ago, Era Might said:

I speculate on everything based on everything. Of course, I know the religious personality quite well, from experience and from many sources. I don't assume that every monk is Thomas Merton, but I do expect to glean something about monks from Thomas Merton's experience. Anyway, I was interestred in the Amazon reviews because I've observed the MCs myself and wondered about what drives them, just as I wonder about what drives a bus driver, or a bridal shop clerk. People are people, the fuller picture we have the better. 

I don't think there is any such thing as "the religious personality" or "the bus driver personality" and assuming that the sisters who feed you must be suppressing sexual feelings or having liaisons with priests and other nuns on the basis of one person's experience, causing you to "feel bad for them", seems crass as well as condescending and judgmental. You seem to be packaging it as some sort of intellectual exercise, but it's still condescension to put people in little boxes rather than trying to get to know them for themselves.

[Era Might]

30 minutes ago, beatitude said:

I don't think there is any such thing as "the religious personality" or "the bus driver personality" and assuming that the sisters who feed you must be suppressing sexual feelings or having liaisons with priests and other nuns on the basis of one person's experience, causing you to "feel bad for them", seems crass as well as condescending and judgmental. You seem to be packaging it as some sort of intellectual exercise, but it's still condescension to put people in little boxes rather than trying to get to know them for themselves.

Who said anything about them having liasons with priests? You're reading way too much into my comment. There certainly is a religious personality. To sublimate one's humanity into a particular way of life is rooted in personality. The life of St. Ignatius is a good example of that, he was a soldier and he created a soldier religious order. I used the word "repress," which you took sexually, but I wasn't even thinking primarily of sexual desire, though certainly that is a valid question, how celibate people repress sexuality...the question can be asked without lurid fantasizing, and one could even ask how married people repress sexuality (they certainly do). But a better word I could have used rather than repress is sublimate...MCs sublimate their humanity in a specific way that is not like other religious orders, just as St. Ignatius did. You say that we should get to know them for themselves, but apparently part of the criticism of the book is that MCs are discouraged from friendship. I don't know if that's true, but I do find it an interesting question in understanding this particular order. I haven't put anyone in a box...I'm not sure how you infer that from a small comment I made. As far as feeling bad for them, I feel for all humanity, every way of life has its shadows. I'm interested in the full picture, that's all. Someone mentioned a book, it was new information to me, it hasn't boxed anything in for me, simply gave new food for thought.

[Feankie]

Uh oh.............I can see this topic going on the fast track to Moderator action.  Not good.  No need to go on the offensive or the defensive.  There is more to life than posting on an Internet Phorum :))  That's why I've chosen to simply read and not reply for the last several months.  Getting myself worked up over posts from people I don't know and will probably never meet is useless and a waste of energy. Take a deep breath......relax......count to ten.....do it all over

[Sister Leticia]

EM: in your post (about 10 hours ago) you specifically quoted Katherine H's post warning everyone about likely sexual content in a book about the MCs, the author's evolving sense of her sexuality, breaking her vow of chastity with a priest and another sister etc.

You then asked: "Is that common in religious life? Just curious"

You then added: "Wow, reading the reviews of the book make me look at the sisters in a different light. I wonder what passes through their minds, what they have to suppress. I feel bad for them."

 

When I saw your question I wasn't sure if you were being flippant, thought you were being funny, wanted to be provocative or had simply decided to be offensive. If you thought you were being funny, it was in poor taste. Personally, I found the question offensive.

And - as a sideline - I'm not sure what you mean by "the religious personality". There isn't one, single, Catholic personality, or one, single, married person personality, and likewise, there isn't a single "religious personality". 

 

Anyway, this thread should be about the MCs - end of hijack. 

[Era Might]

6 minutes ago, Francis Clare said:

Uh oh.............I can see this topic going on the fast track to Moderator action.  Not good.  No need to go on the offensive or the defensive.  There is more to life than posting on an Internet Phorum :))  That's why I've chosen to simply read and not reply for the last several months.  Getting myself worked up over posts from people I don't know and will probably never meet is useless and a waste of energy. Take a deep breath......relax......count to ten.....do it all over

Sorry, it won't go off track. I resurrected this old thread to express my admiration for the MCs. There were some really good posts here that gave me a fuller perspective, including the book. I'm very interested in the lives of the saints, including their human side (very Ignatian of me, and I read an interesting biography of St. Ignatius by a Jesuit psychologist that looked at the human side of vocation, such as Ignatius's very masculine personality and how he sublimated that in his devotion to Mary and his interactions with women).

But no worries, no troubles here. Carry on with the thread.

7 minutes ago, Sister Leticia said:

And - as a sideline - I'm not sure what you mean by "the religious personality". There isn't one, single, Catholic personality, or one, single, married person personality, and likewise, there isn't a single "religious personality". 

None of the above, I asked a question because I was interested in the answer, and also because I like books and discussing them. But I forgot this is Vocation Station where most people come for information in discernment, not for discussion. So that was my fault 

Edited June 9, 2016 by Era Might

[vee]

Indwelling Trinity's comments on her experiences with this sister are on page 16 of the Carmelite customs thread if anyone is interested.  

I should explain myself.  I question her motives to money because it is one thing to write one's memories and experiences, but another to name famous groups and/or people in that writing.  I dont know her thoughts on that obviously but I do wonder about them.

One more thing I wonder is if the application and formation process with the MCs has changed at all since about 1977 when she entered.