Nunsense Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I live alone and I sometimes think about what to do for my funeral that will be cheap (so as not to cost my siblings anything) as well as acceptable. I do wish the Catholic Church allowed the dissemination of ashes as both my parents were sort of done that way (they were not Catholic). My father had most of his ashes interred by his second wife in a military cemetery but she also sent small bags of ashes to different sibs (I didn't want any since they were all being split up - it seemed tacky) and they each put them where it meant something to them. My mother's ashes were buried in the Australian bush on my brother's property, and he planted a tree over them but the whole area became flooded one year and so everything was absorbed back into the river. My brother felt this was kind of 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust' and we were all ok with it. We're not big on visiting grave sites. I want to be cremated because there is no place in particular I want to be buried and no one is going to visit my grave anyway - we are all too scattered around the world and really, death has never been a big deal to my family - memories are everything. I just wish I knew what to do with the ashes. I like the idea of being planted somewhere and things growing all around me, but the Church doesn't like that on unconsecrated ground, does it? The casket tree pod sounds expensive. A cheap wooden casket looks great, everything burned up, but then what? I don't want to have to pay for a hole in the wall at some cemetery or crematorium etc. I know, it's all about respecting the body but really, it's all ashes and dust. And any Mass said for me won't have any of my family attending so a funeral Mass is really out of the question. Still working it all out. But I do like the look of that plain wooden casket - as long as it is in my price range. Death has become way too big of a financial enterprise - I hate the whole commercial aspect of it.
Credo in Deum Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I don't care if no one comes to my funeral Mass, I still want the Mass! Nothing more is benefical than Jesus offering Himself to the Father to have mercy on me in purgatory if, by God's mercy, I make it there!
Nunsense Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I don't care if no one comes to my funeral Mass, I still want the Mass! Nothing more is benefical than Jesus offering Himself to the Father to have mercy on me in purgatory if, by God's mercy, I make it there! Well, yes, I understand that completely and will probably have a Mass said for me but will probably not expect a full funeral Mass with no attendees there. I have moved so much that I don't even have a home parish anymore, and even the priest would probably find it hard to remember who I am! The Mass and prayers, yes, but all the rest? Don't think so.
BarbTherese Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I have a funeral policy to spare my sons and family any expenses on my death - the amount is sufficient to cover any debts and a wake. I am going to be cremated after a Requiem Mass and the ashes scattered on the ocean by my son. The ocean is his favourite place, his prayer space. The place he feels that he is most in the presence of God. It is new to me that scattering of ashes on the ocean is not recommended by The Church but that they be placed in an urn in a consecrated place. I will have to look into that and my decision is going to have to rest on dollars extra involved I think. For me, the motivation is important and to alter arrangements because The Church is not in favour of what I have arranged makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason - at this point anyway.
truthfinder Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I have a funeral policy to spare my sons and family any expenses on my death - the amount is sufficient to cover any debts and a wake. I am going to be cremated after a Requiem Mass and the ashes scattered on the ocean by my son. The ocean is his favourite place, his prayer space. The place he feels that he is most in the presence of God. It is new to me that scattering of ashes on the ocean is not recommended by The Church but that they be placed in an urn in a consecrated place. I will have to look into that and my decision is going to have to rest on dollars extra involved I think. For me, the motivation is important and to alter arrangements because The Church is not in favour of what I have arranged makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason - at this point anyway. Barb, while scattering is not allowed, it might still be permissable to bury your ashes at sea/ocean, since burials are permitted by the church. Your ashes would have to be in a container, but you could probably find something that is affordable and suitable. You'd have to check with your local bishops conference on any directives. Sea burials do have slightly different prayers. And nunsense, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by not having a full funeral because of a lack of mourners. We had a family funeral that was a "full" funeral with only about 10 attendees. Father gave it just as much attention as if there were a hundred mourners.
Nunsense Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Barb, while scattering is not allowed, it might still be permissable to bury your ashes at sea/ocean, since burials are permitted by the church. Your ashes would have to be in a container, but you could probably find something that is affordable and suitable. You'd have to check with your local bishops conference on any directives. Sea burials do have slightly different prayers. And nunsense, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by not having a full funeral because of a lack of mourners. We had a family funeral that was a "full" funeral with only about 10 attendees. Father gave it just as much attention as if there were a hundred mourners. Truthfinder, I wouldn't even have one attendee. It would be the priest and the casket only. My family is not only not Catholic, some of them are atheist or agnostic and wouldn't feel comfortable in any church, let alone a Mass. They will no doubt have a private family 'wake' for those who happen to be in the same city at the same time but it won't be religious in any way. I do understand that a funeral Mass can be said for just my body by the priest and I need to look into this with the local pastor, but since I haven't saved up enough money for any of the funeral costs yet (I have a savings account for this), I haven't gotten that far in the planning. I did look into funeral insurance and plans but discovered that it is actually better financial sense simply to save up the money, so I have a special account for this. Nothing is written in stone, and my plans aren't God's plans, so this is all really just rambling my thoughts.
truthfinder Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Truthfinder, I wouldn't even have one attendee. It would be the priest and the casket only. My family is not only not Catholic, some of them are atheist or agnostic and wouldn't feel comfortable in any church, let alone a Mass. They will no doubt have a private family 'wake' for those who happen to be in the same city at the same time but it won't be religious in any way. I do understand that a funeral Mass can be said for just my body by the priest and I need to look into this with the local pastor, but since I haven't saved up enough money for any of the funeral costs yet (I have a savings account for this), I haven't gotten that far in the planning. I did look into funeral insurance and plans but discovered that it is actually better financial sense simply to save up the money, so I have a special account for this. Nothing is written in stone, and my plans aren't God's plans, so this is all really just rambling my thoughts. Ok, sorry, I didn't quite get what you meant.
Credo in Deum Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Truthfinder, I wouldn't even have one attendee. It would be the priest and the casket only. My family is not only not Catholic, some of them are atheist or agnostic and wouldn't feel comfortable in any church, let alone a Mass. They will no doubt have a private family 'wake' for those who happen to be in the same city at the same time but it won't be religious in any way. I do understand that a funeral Mass can be said for just my body by the priest and I need to look into this with the local pastor, but since I haven't saved up enough money for any of the funeral costs yet (I have a savings account for this), I haven't gotten that far in the planning. I did look into funeral insurance and plans but discovered that it is actually better financial sense simply to save up the money, so I have a special account for this. Nothing is written in stone, and my plans aren't God's plans, so this is all really just rambling my thoughts. Tell me where the Mass will be and I will try to save up to be there!
BarbTherese Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Barb, while scattering is not allowed, it might still be permissable to bury your ashes at sea/ocean, since burials are permitted by the church. Your ashes would have to be in a container, but you could probably find something that is affordable and suitable. You'd have to check with your local bishops conference on any directives. Sea burials do have slightly different prayers. And nunsense, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by not having a full funeral because of a lack of mourners. We had a family funeral that was a "full" funeral with only about 10 attendees. Father gave it just as much attention as if there were a hundred mourners. Thank you for the above info, TF. Obviously, my original plans are something I need research and might need revision. I'm glad I read this thread, since some of the information is completely new to me. And of course, The Church could/might change Her recommendations. It seems to me that respect for the body God has given us and our motivation for where it rests are central - and I think my own personal respect and motivation are intact and would be so for my sons as my immediate family. To me, death and funerals are all about the living. I chose a funeral policy since it guaranteed a specified amount no matter when I died and way back then I had no idea when the big day would arrive of course - it might have been the next day or ten years hence or so. Even now at 69yrs and probably 20 years later, I still have not covered the payout amount in premiums. Each year too inflation is taken into account. Hence a funeral policy has worked for me. It has been assurance for me that no matter when I died, I would not leave my family out of pocket after death. I have heard too that cardboard caskets are available. My instructions to my sons are that I desire a Requiem Mass, cremation and disposal of ashes at sea - and my reasons why. Other than that, details are up to them and my preference is the cheapest means available. What they save if anything, they can spend on the wake ignoring my many failings and inflating my few virtues, if any __________ PS My roots are in a rather well known South Australian seafaring family.
BarbTherese Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 ..............hence my birth name "Barbara" after St. Barbara
Nunsense Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Tell me where the Mass will be and I will try to save up to be there! LOL - all the way to Melbourne to be a professional mourner? That's ok. I don't need any. At that point in time I think praying for me from wherever you are will be fine. But thanks for the kind thought.
BarbTherese Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 Barb, while scattering is not allowed, it might still be permissable to bury your ashes at sea/ocean, since burials are permitted by the church. Your ashes would have to be in a container, but you could probably find something that is affordable and suitable. You'd have to check with your local bishops conference on any directives. Sea burials do have slightly different prayers. I have been thinking about the above and it seems to me that it would have to be a special type of casket or it would float. If I am wrong, excuse my ignorance. Given time, I will research with funeral directors as well as what The Church has to say.
truthfinder Posted March 22, 2015 Posted March 22, 2015 I have been thinking about the above and it seems to me that it would have to be a special type of casket or it would float. If I am wrong, excuse my ignorance. Given time, I will research with funeral directors as well as what The Church has to say. It would be easy to affix small weights on the bottom. I have also heard that cardboard urns are fine because you're not actually scattering the ashes - definitely look into the Church approved options. Funeral directors will certainly try to sell you the most expensive option.
BarbTherese Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 It would be easy to affix small weights on the bottom. I have also heard that cardboard urns are fine because you're not actually scattering the ashes - definitely look into the Church approved options. Funeral directors will certainly try to sell you the most expensive option. Thank you muchly, TF. What The Church has to say will be my first move taking up your advice.
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