Putting much aside to follow a better way: a new plan

[bardegaulois]

Ladies and gentlemen:

A protracted period of consideration on what my next step through life ought to be has led me to a conclusion that many might see as somewhat unusual. I'm a tutor and most of my clients are friends of mine who have asked me to instruct their homeschooled children. We've gotten to the point that I never even ask them for my regular rate any longer, and a sort of tacit agreement has emerged among us that all my extraordinary expenses can be covered upon the asking, the wages from my day job going towards my regular daily expenses. In the time, however, that these people have retained me, my functioned among them has grown merely from teaching the young into helping them with their strategic planning, into pastoral counselling, and the like. I've become somehow particularly trusted in religious matters, for the unusual situation that my friends, though not yet formally Catholic, are strongly Traditional Latin Mass-preferent (as am I), and the diocese in which we reside is a dead zone, all the nearby pastors being quite hostile to anything resembling Catholic tradition. I know this is sad, but we skirt this by travelling into another diocese weekly. Needless to say, this situation is making it very difficult for them to enter the Church fully, but this is an issue I'm working on with a small group of like-minded Catholics.

Shut out from seminary for reasons unknown to me (but which I can probably guess rather accurately) and rather past the age that most religious institutes might want me (and never really having quite felt a draw toward most of them), I've been seeking consistently a means by which I might live a holier life. I'm unmarried, and, to be frank, don't have much proclivity to marry, and I've rather fallen into a rather simple lifestyle, so I have that going in my favour. But now my friends and I are moving a little closer to a spontaneously emerging agreement according to which I would not renew my lease, sell off or donate most of my furniture, diminish my secular work to part time, and start working for them, moving from house to house as the need arises, in exchange for a place to lay my head, three squares a day, the necessaries for my paperwork, and extraordinary expenses such as auto repairs as needed.

It looks like this could be feasible within a months. My friends would of course gain the work I already do for them, of course on a more intimate level. More than that, though, I'd hope to be a more of a living witness to the Gospel, living a more ascetical, even quasi-religious life in their midst, and showing that, even despite the the hostility and obstinacy of the clergy and hierarchy we must deal with, Christ is still very much within our midst. I of course would gain something of a new orientation of being, retreating somewhat from a secular world that has never been very kind to me (nor is it really to anyone) in order to help develop souls and to help nurture a stable community that has spontaneously developed, going to bat consistently for a niche in the Church for the 20 souls I'll be working with; to profess the Gospel and to live according to the example of Christ more completely; and to work out my own salvation.

However this might fit into canon law, I've no idea, but that's not a strong concern of mine as yet (unless of course my plan is shown to be illicit, which I'd greatly doubt). I've not yet spoken to my spiritual director about this, though I plan to when next we visit. Moreover, the practicalities have to be worked out a little more completely. My question here thus will be somewhat open-ended. What would be your general impressions of such a thing based on the cursory information I've provided? Do you see any red flags that ought to be addressed before going forward with this? What sort of future might you see with this?

Thank you in advance for your replies.

[Nihil Obstat]

While such a plan is, of course, very financially risky, I quite like your sense of peace and simplicity. 

From the secular perspective, the main issue is simply that there is no security in the new arrangement. Circumstances change, and suddenly you have nothing. But the secular perspective is not the whole perspective, nor even the primary one. Spiritually speaking I think that if you are approaching this with prayer and discernment and prudence, you will be doing God's will.

[Era Might]

My first thought is on the practical side. Be careful about relying on people too much, handle business always. Remember that you have to take care of yourself, these people may be giving you work now, but who knows where they will be 1 year, 5 years, 10 years from now. Create a stable life without having to rely on others too much, it will help you carry out your real life's work more easily (that's one of the benefits of joining a religious community, it provides external stability, but you can create that in other ways). Being too dependent on anyone can cause problems down the road, not just in your unique situation but even in a regular job...your boss always has to know that business is business, and you have to have the space to deal with business from a position of strength and be willing to walk away. Also, on the religious side, it seems like you can easily be made a fool of by people, as was St. Paul (a few times he mentions in his letters how people tried to challenge him or take his kindness for weakness).

From the spiritual side, I would suggest fleshing out what exactly this life is a little more. Don't make it dependent on this group of people, but let them be the first context in which you are going to live this life...but again, you always have to leave yourself free to follow your path and walk away if necessary. Have an idea of what life looks like without this group of people, before you create a life with them.

[Nihil Obstat]

While such a plan is, of course, very financially risky, I quite like your sense of peace and simplicity. 

From the secular perspective, the main issue is simply that there is no security in the new arrangement. Circumstances change, and suddenly you have nothing. But the secular perspective is not the whole perspective, nor even the primary one. Spiritually speaking I think that if you are approaching this with prayer and discernment and prudence, you will be doing God's will.

​I should add to this. That prudence and discernment must necessarily take into account your material needs.

[bardegaulois]

I'm with you both as yet in understanding that the material practicalities are the lynchpin that everything is going to turn upon. Thus, we're scheduling discussions about these often over the summer, remembering that old cliché, "the devil is in the details."

I agree that this is something of a leap of faith, even though I've known everyone involved for over a decade. Were there not a strong measure of trust, this would of course be a fool's errand. That said, I'm not breaking any ties elsewhere until all parties can unreservedly say that they are certain and such an arrangement must continue, which should likely take a number of years.

[Credo in Deum]

I don't know where you live, but have you also thought about healthcare if the need arises?  Again I don't know if that is an issue where you live.  I know here in the U.S. It is. 

Other than that I kind of identify with the type of life you're looking to live.  I also admire the simplicity and think such a path would be a great means of sanctification. But in all things God's will be done, so I would advise seeking the advice of a spiritual director.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Credo in Deum

[Nihil Obstat]

But in all things God's will be done, so I would advise seeking the advice of a spiritual director.

That is a very good point. A change this drastic does call for such consultation. 

​

[bardegaulois]

This is indeed why I said, "I've not yet spoken to my spiritual director about this, though I plan to when next we visit." As for healthcare, I attribute my good health largely to not having seen a doctor in 20 years, having been able to heal all my modest ailments through inexpensive and traditional methods. Indeed, looking at medicine, like education, nowadays, we can see why the "Benedict option," as Rod Dreher calls it, seems so attractive to so many. In a rather pragmatic sense, I'm taking on a position within an organically arisen community, in many profound ways at countercurrents to the thrust of today's world, for which I've in many ways already helped devise the direction. My plans now seem more like a ratification of an offer that is already extant, as a way of doing what I've been doing somewhat more completely.

[Gabriela]

This is indeed why I said, "I've not yet spoken to my spiritual director about this, though I plan to when next we visit." As for healthcare, I attribute my good health largely to not having seen a doctor in 20 years, having been able to heal all my modest ailments through inexpensive and traditional methods. Indeed, looking at medicine, like education, nowadays, we can see why the "Benedict option," as Rod Dreher calls it, seems so attractive to so many. In a rather pragmatic sense, I'm taking on a position within an organically arisen community, in many profound ways at countercurrents to the thrust of today's world, for which I've in many ways already helped devise the direction. My plans now seem more like a ratification of an offer that is already extant, as a way of doing what I've been doing somewhat more completely.

​This sounds very idealistic, but as you age, you won't be able to ward off everything with traditional methods. You should think about healthcare from the long-term view.

Also, kids grow up, and women reach menopause. What will happen when all these kids are gone?

[Era Might]

This is indeed why I said, "I've not yet spoken to my spiritual director about this, though I plan to when next we visit." As for healthcare, I attribute my good health largely to not having seen a doctor in 20 years, having been able to heal all my modest ailments through inexpensive and traditional methods. Indeed, looking at medicine, like education, nowadays, we can see why the "Benedict option," as Rod Dreher calls it, seems so attractive to so many. In a rather pragmatic sense, I'm taking on a position within an organically arisen community, in many profound ways at countercurrents to the thrust of today's world, for which I've in many ways already helped devise the direction. My plans now seem more like a ratification of an offer that is already extant, as a way of doing what I've been doing somewhat more completely.

​I share your sentiments here about health (and education) as something you direct yourself, not institutionally defined or directed, but the difficulty of living a more holistic life is that you are dealing with a society other forces are at play. People in traditional societies also had societies where their methods of subsistence were native...e.g., pre-modern economies developed certain types of community that also helped sustain their economies, whereas today living in traditionally organic ways does not have the same complementary context. The people you are working for may be admirable, but they also live in a modern economic and social milieu, and you may be burned because of that. It's a tough balancing act. There's a new biography of Ivan Illich you might like, he was a witness to that kind of holistic balancing act (including taking a stand against the institutionalization of health, choosing to live with a large tumor on his face as a witness to his mortality):

" The Prophet of Cuernavaca: Ivan Illich and the Crisis of the West" by Todd Hartch

http://www.davidcayley.com/blog/2015/4/20/a-review-of-todd-hartchs-the-prophet-of-cuernavaca-ivan-illich-and-the-crisis-of-the-modern-west

Todd Hartch, in his title, calls Ivan Illich a prophet.   This was a word that  Illich himself foreswore, once telling the then President of Italy, Romano Prodi, when Prodi asked him if he wasn’t engaged in “a continuation of prophecy for our time,” that “the time of prophecy lies behind us.  The only chance now lies in our taking this vocation as that of the friend.”  This is an interesting statement because it recognizes that prophecy remains a vocation – a calling – but then claims that this summons is now best answered through friendship.  Still, the word is hard to avoid when writing about Illich because prophetic is probably the most readily understandable word for the mode of clairvoyant denunciation in which Illich often writes.

You refer to your group as a "community" and it may be that, but that's a strong word, and I would suggest you reflect on what it means. A community is not a job or a "situation" or an arrangement or an agreement, a community is something else, not a context in which you act but a space in which you have a real place, a true role or office. Jean Vanier, who founded L'Arche as a true community with the mentally handicapped, has a book on this called "Community and Growth":

http://www.amazon.com/Community-Growth-Jean-Vanier/dp/0809131358