Vocation Confusion

[TheresaThoma]

I'm on medication and may be on that medication for the rest of my life (the Drs gave me a 50/50 chance of getting off my meds successfully). I have discovered that with medical issues it is best to ask about them sooner rather than later. It definitely isn't the first thing I bring up but I typically tried to bring it up in the first couple of conversations. I have had a few communities tell me that they can't accept me. Others have been more open but you don't know until you ask.

[Poor Friars]

We can not see what the problem is. We have several members with such problems and the Lord has never failed to provide both the necessary foods and or healing. If someone is called to follow Jesus, he gives them the Grace to follow. Our community has no interest of putting these physical restrictions before the Spiritual power of God to provide a way through as He himself says in the Gospel of Matthew: 

"So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides." (Matt 6:31-33)

One must be given the opportunity at least to discern and discover. If it is God's will for someone to become a member of our Community, the Lord will reveal it clearly. If they are not, that too will be revealed just as if maybe even more clearer.

[Crucesignata]

+JMJ+

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging suggestions.  I shall definitely look into the different orders you suggested and bring it to Our Lord in prayer.  

It's a pretty strict diet (including - but not limited to - staying away from wheat, gluten, cow's dairy, potatoes, corn, sugar, and fake sugars.)  On it, I am one of the healthiest people I know, but if I deviate, bad results are not instant, but are still severe enough to cause months of pain and (if I deviate from it too much for too long) death.  But all in all, it would be kind of tough on any community to accept me - either a whole extra meal must be made or else the community already does not eat those things.  Anyone know of orders that might eat something like this already?  

I do bring up the whole diet/health issue as soon as possible; when I first began contacting communities, I forgot to mention it once or twice and that was kind of discouraging.  They were all very positive and ready to hand me papers in the near future... and then I remembered and asked.  Annnddd that was that.  

In the meantime - waiting and praying and studying - I have been looking into other possible vocations, one of which is the life of a hermit.  I'm also keeping my heart open to the married life if God so wished that I choose that vocation.  Ho hum.

Any advice for discerning and waiting/waiting to discern?  The place I am in right now discernment-wise seems really weird.  

 

Thank you all for the prayers -- I have been praying in thanksgiving for you.  May God bless you all!

 

In Corde Matris,

Crucesignata

[OnlySunshine]

+JMJ+

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging suggestions.  I shall definitely look into the different orders you suggested and bring it to Our Lord in prayer.  

It's a pretty strict diet (including - but not limited to - staying away from wheat, gluten, cow's dairy, potatoes, corn, sugar, and fake sugars.)  On it, I am one of the healthiest people I know, but if I deviate, bad results are not instant, but are still severe enough to cause months of pain and (if I deviate from it too much for too long) death.  But all in all, it would be kind of tough on any community to accept me - either a whole extra meal must be made or else the community already does not eat those things.  Anyone know of orders that might eat something like this already?  

I do bring up the whole diet/health issue as soon as possible; when I first began contacting communities, I forgot to mention it once or twice and that was kind of discouraging.  They were all very positive and ready to hand me papers in the near future... and then I remembered and asked.  Annnddd that was that.  

In the meantime - waiting and praying and studying - I have been looking into other possible vocations, one of which is the life of a hermit.  I'm also keeping my heart open to the married life if God so wished that I choose that vocation.  Ho hum.

Any advice for discerning and waiting/waiting to discern?  The place I am in right now discernment-wise seems really weird.  

 

Thank you all for the prayers -- I have been praying in thanksgiving for you.  May God bless you all!

 

In Corde Matris,

Crucesignata

It's always difficult coming to the conclusion that you may not be called to religious life.  I had to make that determination myself when I was unsuccessful.  I contacted every religious community I was attracted to and most of them said they were unable to make accommodations.  The ones left over were ones that I ended up not being called to anyway.  I decided to focus my efforts elsewhere and I am finishing my Bachelor degree (I will graduate in December).  Sometimes, I still have pangs and really wish I was called to religious life, but I know it wouldn't work out.  There are other avenues of consecration or dedication and I am looking into those, but I have plenty of time.  I am looking forward to my career and I feel like this is where God wants me to be.  I haven't felt more sure in my life. 

[:o)Katherine:o)]

I have a high gluten intolerance allergy. When I first felt the call to religious life and began visiting religious communities I did not know that I had the allergy. I had several health problems. I learned quickly that it was best to be open about my medical background in the beginning. Contact ended very quickly for some due to my past health issues. After learning that I had the allergy and seeing a health improvement after not eating the gluten things have gotten better. Some communities have said that I would not be able to join their community because I would have a special diet. Others have said that it would not be an issue. It depends on the community based on their means of supporting themselves, the diet of most of the community and even medical insurance and costs.

For now, I am focusing on continuing to improve my health with my diet and to find a healthy balance of losing weight (gained a lot over the years due to eating so much gluten and not knowing that I was allergic).  Crucesignata, that would be my advice to you. Find a balance physically and spiritually. While it may not be easy, this is an incredible time for growth and becoming more in tune to God. Sometimes what is the most difficult for us is the greatest gift that we could ever receive. My prayers are with you as you go through this time. One of my spiritual directors tells me constantly: God has three answers for us: 1) yes 2) not yet  or 3) I have something better.  When you are ready (in his time) you will know what His answer is for you!

 

[Feankie]

I have a high gluten intolerance allergy.

 

My oldest daughter is a celiac - no gutted in ANYTHING including face creams, etc.  As a physician herself, she never thought much about it previously although, in retrospect, she'd had symptoms since grade school.  She is 40 and was diagnosed 5 years ago.  In changing her diet and basically her lifestyle (her entire family eats gluten free and loves it), she has never felt or looked better!  She lost weight (not that she really needed to, but it was an added bonus), her skin now glows and isn't pasty, and she's got tons more energy.  It can be done   My prayers are with you on your health challenge and your discernment.

 

[OnlySunshine]

I have a high gluten intolerance allergy.

 

My oldest daughter is a celiac - no gutted in ANYTHING including face creams, etc.  As a physician herself, she never thought much about it previously although, in retrospect, she'd had symptoms since grade school.  She is 40 and was diagnosed 5 years ago.  In changing her diet and basically her lifestyle (her entire family eats gluten free and loves it), she has never felt or looked better!  She lost weight (not that she really needed to, but it was an added bonus), her skin now glows and isn't pasty, and she's got tons more energy.  It can be done   My prayers are with you on your health challenge and your discernment.

 

I am exactly the same.  If there is even the slightest bit of gluten/wheat in cosmetics, lotion, shampoo, etc. my skin breaks out in a horrible rash.  I once bought some tinted moisturizer from Physician's Formula after I went gluten-free and didn't even think to check the label (who puts wheat in makeup?).  BIG mistake!  It looked like I had been horribly sunburned and my skin started peeling.  I traced the reaction back to the makeup because it was the newest thing I had been using.  The label said "wheat bran glucosides."  I have to make sure each thing I buy has no trace of gluten/wheat in it because I've gotten even more sensitive since I went GF and Paleo.  I don't even wear makeup anymore because I get such bad reactions from it now.  My skin started looking better since I stopped using it.

I have never been tested for Celiac but I'm pretty sure I have it.  My doctor thinks I do, too.  If only I had health insurance, I could get the test.  I've traced symptoms back all the way to when I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety/PTSD when I was 16.  I've read some research articles that suggest that a traumatic incident can cause Celiac because of the chemical changes in the body.  It could have even been there before but I didn't realize it.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/depressed-it-may-be-celiac-disease/

Edited August 3, 2015 by MaterMisericordiae

[SNJM]

I will pray for you. Since none of us know what your issue is, it might be something very easy to handle. I would suggest you check it out before feeling all is lost. I have had many clients enter religious life with food restrictions (lactose intolerance, vegetarian, celiac, etc.) and the communities they entered were fine. One community I can think of had the postulant act as the cook so she could set aside her own dish without causing difficulty for the community at large. It wasn't a big deal, it was a monastic community, and I thought they were very practical. Obviously, if your diet requires expensive food items, that would be a drawback. Many of the communities I know and have watched women enter are very generous in making sure it's a good fit, and I have found, as a bystander, the community does want the woman to succeed in the life and does what they can to make the transition smooth. One young woman I worked with entered the Poor Clare's. (PCC) She had trouble with her feet and was allowed to wear soft shoes. So, please don't give up! If you want suggestions of the communities I know personally, please PM me! 

I'm sorry, I went back and read your post explaining the details of your diet. I don't know what kind of community you are looking for (if you said it, I missed that too). I still believe - depending upon the community - that you could find a religious congregation that would accept you and allow you to stick to your diet. The best part is that is that you are not asking FOR anything, so depending upon your constitution, some of the regular portions you could pass on without calling too much attention to yourself. Of course, these issues really apply to cloistered communities as apostolic communities (except for the large institutional orders as someone mentioned) allow the Sisters to make their own food. It just depends upon what you feel called to as a religious. Prayers!

[Nunsense]

+JMJ+

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging suggestions.  I shall definitely look into the different orders you suggested and bring it to Our Lord in prayer.  

It's a pretty strict diet (including - but not limited to - staying away from wheat, gluten, cow's dairy, potatoes, corn, sugar, and fake sugars.)  On it, I am one of the healthiest people I know, but if I deviate, bad results are not instant, but are still severe enough to cause months of pain and (if I deviate from it too much for too long) death.  But all in all, it would be kind of tough on any community to accept me - either a whole extra meal must be made or else the community already does not eat those things.  Anyone know of orders that might eat something like this already?  

I do bring up the whole diet/health issue as soon as possible; when I first began contacting communities, I forgot to mention it once or twice and that was kind of discouraging.  They were all very positive and ready to hand me papers in the near future... and then I remembered and asked.  Annnddd that was that.  

In the meantime - waiting and praying and studying - I have been looking into other possible vocations, one of which is the life of a hermit.  I'm also keeping my heart open to the married life if God so wished that I choose that vocation.  Ho hum.

Any advice for discerning and waiting/waiting to discern?  The place I am in right now discernment-wise seems really weird.  

 

Thank you all for the prayers -- I have been praying in thanksgiving for you.  May God bless you all!

 

In Corde Matris,

Crucesignata

Most of life seems to be about waiting, and for some of us (me included) - that is harder than doing. But after awhile, it becomes clear that the waiting has a purpose of its own. While we are waiting, we are totally dependent on God and on others to help us. Sure, it's much nicer to feel in control of things, especially our own life (or at least our own life) - but being without control is a great time to learn how to trust.

Whatever happens, how wonderful that you care enough to even look into options for serving God. Good stuff. And prayers for you.

[BarbTherese]

Probably waiting is intrinsic to what St Augustine said:  "Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in Thee".  And what is prayed at Mass "as we wait in Joyful Hope for the coming of our saviour Jesus Christ"    We are waiting, I think, sometimes and even perhaps often unsure of what in particular we are actually waiting for....................I experience it as a sort of sense of apprehension, of something about to occur, immanent.  Don't ask me what!

[Nunsense]

I know I post this poem often,but it always seems to need restating...

 

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

 

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

 

[TheresaThoma]

On the topic of waiting this is something that has helped me. Offer up your waiting time for a specific intention. I'm currently waiting for about a year or so before I can potentially enter so I decided to offer up this period of waiting for couples who are having difficulty conceiving or who are having difficulties in their adoption process. It helps when I get frustrated or "antsy" about waiting to have an intention to focus on and offer up my frustration for. 

[AgnesHolyInnocents]

Your food issues sound a lot like mine. I'm a gluten free (anaphylactic allergy) vegan (egg/dairy allergies and can't seem to digest meat at all), with certain veggies and fruits off my list because of food allergies/intolerances/severe stomach distress. I hate to say it, but the list keeps growing. I'm also dye and fragrance free for everything. Sometimes I think my death will come about because there are no foods left I can eat. My consolation is maybe God will allow me to live off of communion. I too can't take the gf wafer because I have an actual wheat allergy, not sure about celiac's. I take the Precious Blood. You are actually asking a question which I ponder- if an order would be able to accommodate such allergies. Also, not sure where you live, but gf bread without eggs here is $6-7 a loaf, and some grains which I eat for protein (quinoa) are $7 for a box which amounts to 2 cups before being cooked. It surely is expensive to have allergies but I am saved in that I can eat potatoes which are more inexpensive. I can't really even afford the specialty allergy foods, like the bread. So I had wondered if an order would accommodate such a diet just based on the higher price of the allergy free foods.  I hope you'll update us with the answer. Just as another thought, perhaps God is calling you to be consecrated in a secular institute instead? You'd be able to accommodate your diet, and also be consecrated to God. It's a really beautiful vocation also. Just a thought.

[NadaTeTurbe]

Your food issues sound a lot like mine. I'm a gluten free (anaphylactic allergy) vegan (egg/dairy allergies and can't seem to digest meat at all), with certain veggies and fruits off my list because of food allergies/intolerances/severe stomach distress. I hate to say it, but the list keeps growing. I'm also dye and fragrance free for everything. Sometimes I think my death will come about because there are no foods left I can eat. My consolation is maybe God will allow me to live off of communion. I too can't take the gf wafer because I have an actual wheat allergy, not sure about celiac's. I take the Precious Blood. You are actually asking a question which I ponder- if an order would be able to accommodate such allergies. Also, not sure where you live, but gf bread without eggs here is $6-7 a loaf, and some grains which I eat for protein (quinoa) are $7 for a box which amounts to 2 cups before being cooked. It surely is expensive to have allergies but I am saved in that I can eat potatoes which are more inexpensive. I can't really even afford the specialty allergy foods, like the bread. So I had wondered if an order would accommodate such a diet just based on the higher price of the allergy free foods.  I hope you'll update us with the answer. Just as another thought, perhaps God is calling you to be consecrated in a secular institute instead? You'd be able to accommodate your diet, and also be consecrated to God. It's a really beautiful vocation also. Just a thought.

Sisters of the Visitation, for what I know of them, can accomodate people with allergy and disability.