Acceptable Head Covering at Mass

[be_thou_my_vision]

Hi all,

I don't want this to turn into a debate about whether or not to cover, I just have a question--

I'm sure this has been discussed a million times, but I can't quite find a short answer to my question....

I want to start head covering at Mass. What is acceptable? Mantilla, scarf, snood? What about just tying a triangle piece of black fabric around my head, like this:

http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/classic.pl

I just don't know what would be acceptable/appropriate for Mass.

Thanks a lot, all!

[puellapaschalis]

Start off with what you're comfortable in. If that's a small bit of fabric that's near indistinguishable from your hair, use that. Be gentle with yourself, take it slow and relax. 

[be_thou_my_vision]

Okay sounds good. So anything that covers the head is okay? Just plain fabric?

[puellapaschalis]

Yup. Personally I'd start off with something in a solid colour not far off the colour of my own hair, and wear that consistently for a good while - perhaps three months? Depends on how often I'd go to Mass (and thus experience I'd have of wearing it).

[be_thou_my_vision]

Ya, I think I'll start with a solid black fabric, tied in the back like the link above shows. I have a little Mass partner (my 18 month-old) that would love to play with anything else, I think! Thank you for the reply.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Any of those options are acceptable! I wear a mantilla but I've also worn scarves and hats. 

[Nihil Obstat]

So far I have never seen a headcovering style at church that even remotely struck me as inappropriate. Maybe this hat would be inappropriate?

In all seriousness, I have seen mantillas, hoods, snoods, big hats, small hats, scarves, and one elderly woman wears a veil so small it does literally look like a doily. Universally I see them all as being eminently proper and very classy.  If I see something objectionable someday - whatever form that might conceivably take - I will make sure to make a note of it.

[puellapaschalis]

It's inappropriate insofar as it's on the wrong type of person. Other than that I'd say it's just a bit...unusual.

[beatitude]

I have this mantilla from Veils by Lily (in black) and I like it so much that I have to recommend it to everyone. The photos on the site don't do it justice. It's incredibly soft, delicate, and light, and I don't feel self-conscious wearing it to Mass in parishes where I'm the only one in a mantilla, because it's so discreet. I think it would be a good choice for any woman who wants to wear a mantilla but also to avoid sticking out from everyone.

[Benedictus]

I'd say to wear something simple and conventional -  hat, scarf, hat etc. You'd only need to cover the head, so I don't think it needs to get complicated or showy. If what you would wear would raise eyebrows, draw too much attention or cynicism then I'd say think of something else to wear instead. If you wouldn't walk down the street wearing it then maybe don't wear it for Mass (that applies to Mantilla's in my opinion, but it's up to the individual).  I tend to see hats, scarfs and bandana's used most. My sister uses a woolly hat in winter and a sports cap or folded fabric bandana in summer There are probably some variances between countries, ages and mass customs. So I'd say to go with what you feel comfortable for you and seems most appropriate to your mass, life and location.

[MarysLittleFlower]

What do you all think about using a mantilla as a type of a witness though? I don't mean wearing a huge long white mantilla at a parish where no one veils. It can be small and discreet. But it sort of sends the message "this is what people can do in church. Its not just a fashion accessory". People might potentially getinterested from that... I also like how mantillas cover the sides of the head cause that eliminates some distraction. However I do get worried about drawing attention to myself. So in certain places I wear a beige short mantilla but sometimes a hat just to not be too conspicuous..  at the Latin Mass where I go you can get away with anything though ...well within limits

[puellapaschalis]

For me it would be a very secondary consideration, and for someone just starting to cover I would not recommend thinking about that factor at all - too much potential to get distracted from developing a habit as a natural consequence of the relationship between me, a woman, and God.

[Nihil Obstat]

For me it would be a very secondary consideration, and for someone just starting to cover I would not recommend thinking about that factor at all - too much potential to get distracted from developing a habit as a natural consequence of the relationship between me, a woman, and God.

Nicely put.

[MarysLittleFlower]

I see what you mean... Of course I'd never make that the primary reason I veil... I just thought sometimes there's so much fear of veiling because of what people might think, and maybe seeing it as a witness could lessen that fear? But I think its good to just concentrate on what Jesus thinks

[be_thou_my_vision]

Well friends, I covered my head for the first time yesterday at daily Mass. I used a lightweight scarf. Nobody said anything at all about it. I got the feeling that people were wondering what in the world I was doing... Seriously, I've never seen anyone in the parishes in the this city wear any sort of head covering at Mass. I felt surprisingly calm. I thought I would be more anxious. I am doing this for God, though, so what others think doesn't matter much to me. So, I guess in that sense I'm not surprised I was so calm.

I think my daughter had the most to say about it, taking the end of the scarf and hiding under it and making little noises until I looked at her. Then she'd laugh. Ahhhh yes, the adventures of toddlerhood!

Thanks for the advice and support.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Glad it went well! there are parishes I've been to where no one wears a head covering and I did get a few wondering looks perhaps (I don't know what people were thinking though) but a couple people came up to me and said they appreciate it so there would be different views but as you said this is for Our Lord! a few days ago I didn't wear a head covering just to pray in a church because it was full of people right before Baptisms and I chickened out .. (All I had is my huge white mantilla). But I have to say I just didn't feel quite the same - like something was missing. You get used to it

[chrysostom]

The other day a friend of mine wore the nicest little net (I don't know if there is another term for it) on her head, with the only fabric I could actually spot from a distance in a little place at the back of her head.  It was very subtle on her dark hair - the interlocking threads were spaced out, too - and I didn't notice it until we were talking after church.

[Gabriela]

I typically wear a buff: http://www.buffwear.com/buff-adult-headwear/original-buff

Or sometimes a hood.

Or when it's cold, a buff covered with a hood.

[superblue]

Back home i rarely saw women wearing veils , I do remember two elderly women in my congregation that did.  Where i am now, i do see a few mothers with their young daughters an the mother an daughters wear veils.  An i could only speculate the mothers are teaching the young girls why, but it is adorable to see little children hands folded an in a veil. Some visual hope things are still good out there.

[Lady-Indis]

I wear a full chapel veil. It is noticeable, particularly when I wear it at English Masses, but that doesn't bother me anymore. I think pretty much anything goes for starters--except baseball caps.   I think buffs look great, BTW.