Advice for High Schoolers

[tinytherese]

I recommend the films Completely Christ's and Fishers of Men. 

Advice I'd give to high schoolers would be to be careful about post-poning the priesthood or religious life after college because you can rack up debt and that can make getting in to a community harder. (This is not to say that you shouldn't go to college before discerning, just to work out a plan if you think that that's what God is calling you to do.)

It's normal for your family and friends not to like the idea of you discerning. Saints faced loved ones opposing them and those who are discerning do too. If you are at least 18, then you're legally an adult and can graciously listen to the advice of your parents or guardians and consider it, but in the end, you make the decision yourself. 

Nothing compares to actually visiting a community or seminary or shadowing a priest. It's one thing to read about or hear about it and another all together to actually do it yourself.  

Also, just because you visit, doesn't mean that you are obligated to apply and join. I once visited a convent where the prioress advised me to wait at least two weeks to contact her on my thoughts about what I wanted to do next. If my memory is accurate, then she also said that it was alright if I told her after the two weeks that I wasn't sure what to think, but to let her know anyway so that she'd at least know where I stood on the issue. Even if she didn't say that, I still would say that that's solid advice. 

Another piece of wisdom from that same prioress, is that when you visit a community, if you find that during your overall time there that you can sleep well, eat well, and pray well there, then that's a very good sign that you've found your home.

I've learned from others, that if you feel peace during your visit and when thinking about that way of life, that that is where you are called to be.

I know that when I thought that I may not be called to the religious life afterall, that I felt guilty because I kept hearing how the Church is experiencing a shortage. One person could not possibly make up for that. Besides, the Church doesn't want anyone to answer the call out of guilt, but those who genuinely want to live that way. The Lord loves us and never desires us to do anything that will genuinely make us miserable. Talk of a vocation shortage is a myth anyway. Follow feelings of peace. 

If you are seriously discerning, please don't date. You can learn how to interact with the opposite sex by forming friendships and acquaintances. I know that I was tempted to date because I wanted to know what it was like to be in a relationship, but realized that that would be using the other person. Both of your hearts are in danger of getting broken that way. I met a guy in college who had a girlfriend who was everything that he wanted in a wife and more. Then she broke up with him out of nowhere because she was entering a convent. It crushed him. 

Here are some articles to keep in mind as well.

http://seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2013/08/auntie-seraphic-vocations-victim.html 

http://seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2010/10/discern-this-drama-boy.html 

 http://seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2010/12/auntie-seraphic-ex-seminarians.html

Edited October 17, 2015 by tinytherese
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[TheresaThoma]

One other bit of advice I would give is to find a spiritual director. Having someone you can talk things over with is key to good discernment. Obviously the Vocation Director for each community or for the diocese can provide some help. However with smaller communities the VD may also have another role (novice mistress or prioress etc). A spiritual director can be that unbiased third party which is crucial.

It is also so wonderful to hear that they are making a weekly Holy Hour on their own. You have a wonderful group of teens!

[:o)Katherine:o)]

Thank you so much for your continued feedback!

To give a quick update:

I have been invited to speak to some girls in November that have never met a religious woman before or been exposed to the fact that God is calling them to something whether it be marriage, religious life, single life etc. It will be brief but will hopefully plant a seed. I am excited to see how things go!

Three of the four guys and the girl are becoming even more involved in the youth group and seem to be more in tune to the world around them. They will be going to the National Catholic Youth Conference in November and going to March for Life in January. Please continue to keep them in your prayers as they continue their journey of discernment.

[TheresaThoma]

Another idea especially for the group that you are going to talk to is have a way for them to contact you (or another leader) after the talk. Maybe set up a separate email account.  There may be some who are interested but a little too shy or embarrassed to talk with you in front of their peers. If you have a small card or something that you give out to everyone it becomes a low pressure situation.

Another good resource that maybe some PMers could help out with is keeping a list of up coming vocation retreats. Some close to where you are at and others farther away. Maybe group them as short drive, long drive and fly. 

[Sponsa-Christi]

Another idea especially for the group that you are going to talk to is have a way for them to contact you (or another leader) after the talk. Maybe set up a separate email account.  There may be some who are interested but a little too shy or embarrassed to talk with you in front of their peers. If you have a small card or something that you give out to everyone it becomes a low pressure situation.

This is a great idea, but it might be better for a college-aged audience. With kids under eighteen, there might be "safe environment"/child safeguarding concerns if kids are able to have direct and private contact with an adult.

But maybe if there was some unstructured social time after the program, you could make yourself available for a one-on-one conversation in a room where a lot of people will still be gathered.