Modesty: what's the point?

[Maggyie]

LOL! Of course there is no evidence to prove that modest clothing will prevent a sexual assault. This is because no one can document what a person would have done but didn't do, and no person with half a brain is going to admit they were thinking about sexuality assaulting someone or were triggered to sexually assault someone but didn't, based on how they're dressed.   

actually I encourage you to write any sex offender in your prison system and ask if the length of a woman's skirt had anything to do with their choice of victim. Many of them are surprisingly frank. 

Hint, they will tell you they didn't choose the woman based on her neckline, they chose her because the opportunity to have sex presented itself, and they felt their desire to have sex was more valid than their victim's reluctance.

In reality of course sex crime has nothing to do with normal arousal. These people are not turned on by clothes, they are aroused by violence, humiliating the victim, feeling empowered. 

The whole "your clothes are sending a message that you want it,  dress like a nun if you don't want it, nuns don't get raped" thing is hugely creepy. It's also sad because it promotes a belief that subcultures that practice conservative dress won't be vulnerable to sexual assault. Wrong. 

Edited August 25, 2015 by Maggyie

[Lilllabettt]

that's not how rape happens though... Guys who rape are not picking out women on the street. That kind of rape is actually quite rare. It's usually 2 people who know each other who are alone together where the opportunity presents itself. If nuns hung out with men a lot they would be at equal risk of rape, however instead they are mostly around other women and are rarely alone with a man. They also aren't usually in a situation where drugs or alcohol are being used (another actual risk factor). 

 

ummmmm.... tons of sexual assault happens in broad daylight in full view of the public. most assault does not involve holding a woman down alone in the dark and penetrating her while she screams.

We agree that unworthy men will say and do things to a girl dressed like a prostitute. But you honestly believe these men would be unashamed to try the same stuff with a nun....

that is lala land, in my opinion.

obviously some men are truly shameless, and for them it makes no difference.

but if you honestly think it makes no difference to safety and well being when women who are NOT interested in hooking up dress like women who ARE interested in hooking up ... well ... that is la la land, imo.

There are lots of men who will not even bother to ask, they just assume the clothing is a standing invitation.

Blah blah blah raise boys so that they will not treat women that way, or make assumptions based on clothing.

But blah blah that does not help women who have to pass safely through the world as it exists today

[Credo in Deum]

 

ummmmm.... tons of sexual assault happens in broad daylight in full view of the public. most assault does not involve holding a woman down alone in the dark and penetrating her while she screams.

We agree that unworthy men will say and do things to a girl dressed like a prostitute. But you honestly believe these men would be unashamed to try the same stuff with a nun....

that is lala land, in my opinion.

obviously some men are truly shameless, and for them it makes no difference.

but if you honestly think it makes no difference to safety and well being when women who are NOT interested in hooking up dress like women who ARE interested in hooking up ... well ... that is la la land, imo.

There are lots of men who will not even bother to ask, they just assume the clothing is a standing invitation.

Blah blah blah raise boys so that they will not treat women that way, or make assumptions based on clothing.

But blah blah that does not help women who have to pass safely through the world as it exists today

Wait, you mean rape isn't the only form of sexual assault?

*mind blown*

[Lil Red]

Very silly article. A woman can't teach a man how to treat women through her dress. It simply doesnt work. That has to be taught by other men. That's why fathers are so important! 

Modest dress also doesn't protect one from mistreatment. Many women dress far more modestly than you, MLF, in the middle east; and yet rape, sexual assault and a profound lack of dignity for women are very common there. Why, because the men are taught to behave that way by their fathers...

modesty does not mean ugly. Unfortunately many women who attempt to dress modestly wear very plain, homely clothing in dark colors. They don't go shopping and carefully choose their clothes to look as lovely and attractive as possible. You could argue from the same principles that this is quite sinful since such clothing disfigures the image of woman's glorious body. It is like putting the tabernacle in a burlap sack. Yes God veils what is precious but he covers it with splendor. 

great post, especially that bolded part.  

 

Instead of this, I prefer this testimonies by Elizabeth Esther (who was raised by fundamentalist baptist - long skirt, etc... and then later converted to catholicism). I copy the extract that interest me : 
 

My three older kids are working through their second year of faith formation in our Catholic parish. Last week, they came home with a packet about physical, symbolic and internal boundaries. As I flipped through the worksheets, I saw the word MODESTY and my heart froze. I could feel thoseold purity culture ideas rearing their shame-y, blame-y heads. But then I read the definition. And I got all happy because here, read it for yourselves:

Modesty: The virtue that respects, honors and protects privacy: the quality of avoiding extremes of emotion, action, dress and language. Modesty respects my boundaries and the boundaries of others.

What a well-rounded, WHOLE-PERSON approach to understanding the virtue of modesty! This is a perfect example of why I love Catholicism--the theology isn't compartmentalized; meaning,modesty isn't exclusively about manner of dress but about the WHOLE WAY we live our lives.

I think that's why I get so irritated with most "modesty" articles. Because they usually take the word "modesty" and use it to only apply to our clothing.