Makeup and Religious Life

[AuthorOfMyLife]

I know what you're thinking! Lipstick and mascara! LOL! Actually, though, I was reading the post about hair / head shaving, and someone mentioned makeup, and it made me think. Obviously, it depends very much on the community, perhaps in particular how active the community is. I imagine some active communities might allow lipstick, etc.

I don't wear lipstick or mascara or anything of that type of makeup, but I do appreciate the use of a light cover-up. I have struggled with skin issues throughout my teenage and adult life, and I admit I feel pretty vulnerable and awful without a little cover-up. As a sister, I know one is meant to be humble and not to focus on personal appearances, but it seems to me that some communities might allow something simple like this.

For me, it isn't (I hope) so much a manifestation of vanity, but more an issue of insecurity and self-consciousness (something to work on, I know). Also, I wouldn't like to represent the community badly (some people perceive skin issues as being caused by poor food or poor grooming, etc.).

Anyway, what do you think?

[Sister Marie]

I think the biggest difference you are going to find here would be between contemplative and active communities.  Active communities, especially those engaged in a public/professional apostolate, would probably be more open to this problem/possibility.  Whether we like it or not, we are expected to look well-groomed in a professional setting just like a lay person in the same position would be.  I would think that what would be especially acceptable in this situation would be some kind of tinted moisturizer.  Simple, unnoticeable, but still helpful for problem skin... especially with an SPF.  I'm not saying all active communities would be open to this.  I think it would be a solution I would be comfortable with for myself if I had that problem.  

Besides the look, anything would have to be in keeping with poverty.  I do shop at the pharmacy and some of the most expensive items in there are women's face products!  So money is another factor.

Blessings, SM   

[katherineH]

Acne is an interesting question, because it could be framed as a health issue and not a matter of appearance. Acne can be due to many hormonal and/or dietary imbalances so maybe a community would be open to you using some kind of medicated cream.  Eye brow waxing and plucking is interesting to watch for as well. It seems like that may be a more acceptable form of facial "upkeep" among active communities.  Not wearing any kind of cover-up may be freeing for you though.  A sister recently told me that the material sacrifices she makes as a sister are nothing compared to the internal sacrifices she has had to make, notably by being asked to do things she would never otherwise do outside of religious life. She said being stretched and growing as a person sanctifies her so much more than not having material possessions. Maybe not wearing makeup as a sister is one of those things - something you would never do as a lay person but that you have the privilege to do in religious life, and something that will sanctify you so much more because of it. 

[AuthorOfMyLife]

Thank you for your perspectives!

20 minutes ago, katherineH said:

Acne is an interesting question, because it could be framed as a health issue and not a matter of appearance. Acne can be due to many hormonal and/or dietary imbalances so maybe a community would be open to you using some kind of medicated cream.  Eye brow waxing and plucking is interesting to watch for as well. It seems like that may be a more acceptable form of facial "upkeep" among active communities.  Not wearing any kind of cover-up may be freeing for you though.  A sister recently told me that the material sacrifices she makes as a sister are nothing compared to the internal sacrifices she has had to make, notably by being asked to do things she would never otherwise do outside of religious life. She said being stretched and growing as a person sanctifies her so much more than not having material possessions. Maybe not wearing makeup as a sister is one of those things - something you would never do as a lay person but that you have the privilege to do in religious life, and something that will sanctify you so much more because of it. 

I suspect that you are right, and that it would be freeing--in a community, particularly a more private / cloistered community where you know no one is judging you on your appearance, I think it would be easier to forget about it entirely. 

 

1 hour ago, Sister Marie said:

Besides the look, anything would have to be in keeping with poverty.  I do shop at the pharmacy and some of the most expensive items in there are women's face products!  So money is another factor.

Ouch, that's the truth! The aids I use are quite cheap, and they are only for comfort's sake. I don't use any other forms of makeup, partly because of health reasons (I tend to be allergic to fragrances, etc.) and partly because I do reject the notion that you have to wear the typical makeup to be beautiful--and partly because I don't like spending money on it!

 

[vee]

My guess is that a community would look more at the medical treatment of any skin condition first before considering cosmetics to cover up the issue. 

[MarysLittleFlower]

I agree that an active community might be more open to helping the Sister treat acne medically if they have the money. Many (or all?) contemplative communities as far as I know don't even have mirrors. I know its hard to let go of things like that. I used to be extremely insecure about how I look and I actually used a lot of makeup. Not just cover up but everything.

It caused me anxiety thinking of giving it up in a convent. Then later I felt like I should give it up now and it was really hard at first but now its so freeing. At first I felt more self conscious but now I think less so. I personally don't believe its good for Sisters to wear things like mascara or lipstick - that is for attractiveness and that's an attachment to let go of IMO. Even as a lay woman I believe that - I know not all do so I won't say more here. But regarding acne and covering it up - I think the issue of acne can be mentioned to an active order and they can advise what to do.. Probably other Sisters there also have the same thing! I think many might have this question.

Often things like diet and hormones can affect it too... Also probably as you get a bit older the issue might just go away naturally anyway I understand the anxiety about it all! Put it in God's hands.  Things that are really worrying tend to work out when the time comes to deal with them and God can give a special peace. Maybe the community would also have a good solution. Personally I've found it all to be sort of a lesson in how God sees me and how He loves me just as I am. 

Edited January 17, 2016 by MarysLittleFlower

[AuthorOfMyLife]

39 minutes ago, MarysLittleFlower said:

Often things like diet and hormones can affect it too... Also probably as you get a bit older the issue might just go away naturally anyway I understand the anxiety about it all! Put it in God's hands.  Things that are really worrying tend to work out when the time comes to deal with them and God can give a special peace. Maybe the community would also have a good solution. Personally I've found it all to be sort of a lesson in how God sees me and how He loves me just as I am. 

Darn it! Sorry about the quote-reply above. I couldn't add anything after I linked the quote!

What I was going to say is don't worry, I'm not stressed about this! Just curious! I'm much too far away from actual entering (if that ever happens) to stress about it now. 

I appreciate the replies!

[nikita92]

Just as long as I was allowed to keep a small pr of tweezers in order to pluck that one pesky white strange hair that insists on coming out and acting like a whisker!!! Cause.. I can feel it with my tongue and it's sharp! Lol

If I wasn't allowed that implement... That and cold cream and a tube of Chapstick...I would be miserable! 

[Antigonos]

Back in the ancient times <g> when I was a student nurse, we were not allowed to wear makeup on duty. [Also no jewelry apart from a plain wedding ring, if married, hair had to be off the collar, and skirts to the knee or just below].  One day my instructor took me aside and told me to use a little rouge -- several patients had noticed my pallor and thought I might be ill [I'm very fair-skinned].

So it seems logical that a sister in an active community who is seen in the public arena a good deal of the time, might be allowed a smidgen of natural-looking makeup.  But one of the joys, I've found, of achieving a "certain age" is that, with the exception of special events such as going to a wedding, I can almost entirely dispense with makeup in all forms.  In fact, I don't like the feel of it any more on those occasions when I do wear it.

[sr.christinaosf]

Do you know what the duck said when she bought lipstick?  

[sr.christinaosf]

Just put it on my bill.

[Antigonos]

14 minutes ago, sr.christinaosf said:

Just put it on my bill.

Sister, you should get a stiff penance for that one!

[emma8201986]

There is a non-habited (but very wonderful) sister in a neighboring parish.  Every week she has her nails done in the same salon as me.  I can't tell you how many other women of my acquaintance have noticed this and commented about it to me (because they know my daughter just entered and they seem to think I am an expert on all things convent).  To say the least, the comments are not charitable and, frankly, I can't explain why a sister would need her nails done in a salon.  I normally do my own and only have them done when I'm going to a special event.

[Sister Leticia]

11 hours ago, Antigonos said:

Back in the ancient times <g> when I was a student nurse, we were not allowed to wear makeup on duty. [Also no jewelry apart from a plain wedding ring, if married, hair had to be off the collar, and skirts to the knee or just below].  One day my instructor took me aside and told me to use a little rouge -- several patients had noticed my pallor and thought I might be ill [I'm very fair-skinned].

So it seems logical that a sister in an active community who is seen in the public arena a good deal of the time, might be allowed a smidgen of natural-looking makeup.  

I know a sister in precisely the same situation. The people with whom she worked knew she'd had some health problems and kept expressing their concern based on her pale face, so now she adds a bit of colour. It's sensible and logical, but, as with all things, it really depends on the congregation and the individual.

[Antigonos]

11 hours ago, emma8201986 said:

There is a non-habited (but very wonderful) sister in a neighboring parish.  Every week she has her nails done in the same salon as me.  I can't tell you how many other women of my acquaintance have noticed this and commented about it to me (because they know my daughter just entered and they seem to think I am an expert on all things convent).  To say the least, the comments are not charitable and, frankly, I can't explain why a sister would need her nails done in a salon.  I normally do my own and only have them done when I'm going to a special event.

Not all people are very dextrous.  It might depend on what sort of work she does.  But this is one of the reasons why I think it would be more difficult to not wear some sort of modified habit; one has to concern oneself with clothes and appearances more, which must distract from more spiritual things and take up time.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Personally I believe that its very very important for a religious to leave the things of the world. Often the thing that keeps from union with God is a trifle attachment we just don't want to give up. I don't mean regarding the original post and treating skin conditions, but regarding religious wearing jewellery / adornments/ doing nails / makeup to look "prettier". I remember the nuns of St Teresa's time wore jewellery and spent much time in the parlor and she was trying to discourage that. I think as religious its important to give ourselves only to God not just in the act of leaving everything, but continuing that act in everything we do. I don't want to be judgemental of such Sisters but I think its a danger frankly and that's one reason why a habit is a good thing. 

Edited January 18, 2016 by MarysLittleFlower

[Spem in alium]

I think it's very important to be presentable, because one sister not only represents herself, but also the sisters with whom she lives, and even to an extent her congregation. In my case, in some ways I need to be more presentable than most because I have a health issue which makes me quite recognisable. As an example, one day I went out for some exercise, wearing tracksuit pantaloons and a t-shirt and looking very ordinary (and definitely wanting to look ordinary and 100% incognito), and someone just happened to pass and say "Hello, Sister, how are you?"  People often remember me easily, because of how I look, which sometimes means I don't get much "down-time" (when we go out just for fun or shopping, we sometimes wear casual clothes because we're relaxing) but also in a way makes me more conscious of my appearance and my attention to personal grooming. I don't wear makeup, and never really have, but do wear perfume and use hand cream.

[dominicansoul]

The communities I entered never allowed makeup, cosmetics, nail polish, hair styles, etc.  In fact, there were no mirrors except in a private bathroom where the Sisters would go to cut their hair and needed a mirror.  I liked that much more than having to worry about makeup and looking made up.  I don't really think women need make up to look professional or beautiful, in fact, I happen to think most of the women in the convent with me were the most beautiful when they were in their habits sans makeup and hairdos and colored nails. 

I guess what I'm saying is, when you enter religious life, your focus certainly shifts from your own self to God and others.  You kind of forget about make up and all that stuff, it becomes unimportant...

[Julie]

1 hour ago, dominicansoul said:

The communities I entered never allowed makeup, cosmetics, nail polish, hair styles, etc.  In fact, there were no mirrors except in a private bathroom where the Sisters would go to cut their hair and needed a mirror.  I liked that much more than having to worry about makeup and looking made up.  I don't really think women need make up to look professional or beautiful, in fact, I happen to think most of the women in the convent with me were the most beautiful when they were in their habits sans makeup and hairdos and colored nails. 

I guess what I'm saying is, when you enter religious life, your focus certainly shifts from your own self to God and others.  You kind of forget about make up and all that stuff, it becomes unimportant...

Did either community allow the use of special soap? Since the original question about makeup stemmed from a skin problem, I imagine that havinh some "special" soap could be more of a health/hygienic thing than a vanity thing, though I guess even bad acne isn't really all that district ice of health.

[dominicansoul]

23 minutes ago, Julie said:

Did either community allow the use of special soap? Since the original question about makeup stemmed from a skin problem, I imagine that havinh some "special" soap could be more of a health/hygienic thing than a vanity thing, though I guess even bad acne isn't really all that district ice of health.

yes, the community allows for health issues and hygiene