Indicators of a Vocation?

[Spem in alium]

To begin discussion on points raised in another thread.  

I'm a little hesitant to say that one should be guided by "signs", etc. Of course, there are certain things that a community tend to look for in the candidate (commitment to faith, financial situation, family situation - any dependents, medical history, etc.), and some of these should be considered, but I don't know how much can really be known about a person, and especially if they have a vocation, before they've lived in community. At the very initial stage of my discernment, when I was interested in my order but hadn't yet applied, my (now) superior told me that she thought I had a vocation to be a consecrated woman. On the day I asked for application, I remember asking my superior and the vocations director if they thought I was called to their congregation --- and they made that point, that they couldn't know until I'd lived with them. There is only so much you can get to know about someone after seeing them once every few months on retreat, or having them spend a few days living in community. They're most likely trying to present the best version of themselves! The real inclination comes after they are no longer a guest, after any superficial exterior is stripped away and they reveal who they really are.

Ultimately, each congregation will look for different things. While in some instances I think it's possible they could clearly see that a person doesn't have a vocation to consecrated life, or that they can't enter until they fulfil X, Y, Z, I feel in most situations the person has to actually try the life before intense or serious judgement can be made.

Any other thoughts? Am I on the right wavelength with this, or was the purpose/subject different? 

(Another point: while keeping in mind particular "signs of a vocation" can be helpful, by focusing too much on these "signs" the discerner could also run the risk of over-comparing themselves to others. It's important to remember each person -- and therefore each journey -- is unique.)

[vee]

6 minutes ago, Spem in alium said:

. There is only so much you can get to know about someone after seeing them once every few months on retreat, or having them spend a few days living in community. They're most likely trying to present the best version of themselves! The real inclination comes after they are no longer a guest, after any superficial exterior is stripped away and they reveal who they really are.

Ultimately, each congregation will look for different things. While in some instances I think it's possible they could clearly see that a person doesn't have a vocation to consecrated life, or that they can't enter until they fulfil X, Y, Z, I feel in most situations the person has to actually try the life before intense or serious judgement can be made.

Glad you started the thread and amen on the above points!  How does someone deal with the routine and stresses of the life?  How does one deal with others in the community I think are huge!  Not to mention the ability to learn and even take correction without having a fit!  Im guessing communities watch these points carefully because an acceptable way to deal with someone in a convent is NOT screaming yelling or violence!    Of course thsoe thigns and others can only be seen by actually living the life.

[cappie]

I have found this helpful but not definitive 

 You could begin by reflecting on some of these points:

Age & Stage of Life – At what age and stage of life am I at? Should I seek an opportunity to learn, deepen and grow? Am I ready to be given major responsibility without close supervision? Could I offer wisdom and nurture to others? What are my personal needs? What are my family responsibilities? How much time and energy do I have available?
   
Past Experience – As I reflect on my past experience, what has worked; what has given me energy and excitement; what feels unfinished?
   
Personality – Am I outgoing? Do I prefer to work with one or two others? Am I comfortable with strangers or prefer people I know? With what age groups do I connect? Am I comfortable with people from different backgrounds than my own? What level of stress, noise, and energy can I cope with? Can I keep commitments without supervision?
   
Personal Maturity – What level of self-awareness do I have about my emotions and needs? How do I handle my own, and other people’s, anxiety? Can I stay connected and continue to problem solve in the midst of heated conflict?
   
Faith Maturity – What is the level of my personal relationship with God, and of my daily discipleship?
   
Cooperation & Evaluation – Can I accept evaluation of my gifts and how I am using them? Can I work constructively with others? Can I admit my limitations? Can I work for goals that others may have set?

[Swami Mommy]

These suggestions of indicators of one's vocation to religious life come from the book,  'Sisters: An inside Look", by Kathleen Rooney, SSJ:

--Do you have a regular prayer life?  Are you growing in your relationship with God?

--Are you an active Catholic who attends Mass?  Are you involved in some form of parish activity such as singing in the choir, reading at Mass, teaching in the religious education program, participating in a youth group or other organization?

--Do you have healthy friendships with men and women alike?

--Are you someone who reaches out to others through  volunteer work or simple acts of kindness such as visiting an elderly neighbor or someone ill in the hospital?

--Do you have an increasing sense that something is lacking in your life?  Are you looking for more meaning and purpose?

--Do you experience a deepening awareness of God and a growing hunger to draw closer to God, to the church, and to others?

 

I would add to the list above these following qualities that may be necessary for successfully living in Community:

--Do you have the inner capacity for extended periods of personal silence and solitude?  

--Do you require a lot of emotional support or are you generally capable of working through your personal issues on your own?

--Do you have the maturity and willingness to assume responsibility as needed by the community?  Are you willing to work hard without complaint?  

--Do you have the ability to take direction with humility and a willingness to be vigilant in your personal efforts of self-inquiry?  

--Are you flexible and do you have the ability to adapt to unexpected changes not chosen by you?  Can you roll with the punches?

--Do you have a tolerance for and interest in learning from individual personality differences among your fellow community members?  Do you have a spirit of generosity and acceptance when dealing with personalities that rub you the wrong way?

--Do you have a sense of teamwork?

--Are you comfortable with a certain lack of privacy and limited free time?

--Do you have a good sense of humor?

--Are you psychologically and emotionally mature enough to ride out occasional dry spells in your spiritual life without wavering in your sense of commitment?

--Are you comfortable in living a simple life of need vs. want?

--Do you have a good attention span and can you go with the flow, responding rather than reacting to uncomfortable situations that you find challenging?

--Have you lived on your own in the world as a responsible, fiscally independent adult before applying for admittance to a community?  Have you finished your education?  Are you free of debt?  Are you excessively dependent upon your family for emotional and fiscal support?

--Do you possess an inner steadiness that isn't swayed easily?

--Do you have any physical or psychological conditions which require special accomodations that would place an undue burden on the community?

 

Edited February 19, 2016 by Swami Mommy

[MarysLittleFlower]

What if youre missing a trait.. or a few? What if someone (making up a situation) is 18, has never been independent, has a short attention span, - things like that, yet they may have a call? I remember reading Sr Consolata Betrone had a personality that was really outgoing but she was called to the Poor Clare's and found the silence difficult, but through this difficulty, it seems God purified her. I'm not saying these traits are not important but I think some are essential and others are helpful but don't mean necessarily there is no vocation? They might of course make it easier to live the life. 

[Swami Mommy]

MLF, I think you answered your question in the last line of your own comment.  My suggestions about personal traits were under the separate heading of qualities that might make a person more successful in living in community.  In my opinion, (and I'm no spiritual director mind you, just a person who has lived a good number of years), one can have a vocation but still not be a good fit for religious life for purely practical reasons that affect one's ongoing capacity to live and contribute successfully to an organized group of people sharing close quarters and relying upon each other to keep their dynamic arrangement as smoothly running as possible.  Especially because so many current communities are comprised of small groups of aging religious who may not have the energy anymore to work with a candidate who has too many personality 'quirks' or special physical, mental or emotional considerations, it's important to be realistic.  Just having a vocation, a desire to consecrate one's life to God, does not automatically mean that a community MUST make a space for a person especially if that person has traits that will disrupt the dynamics of the community.  Having a vocation and possessing the qualities to live one's vocation successfully in community are two different things, both of which, by necessity, should warrant separate consideration in any community's decision-making process when evaluating appropriate candidates for the rigors of religious life.    

 

Here is a good article from Vocation Network on indicators of a religious vocation:

http://www.vocationnetwork.org/articles/show/359-5-signs-religious-life-might-be-right-for-you

Edited February 19, 2016 by Swami Mommy

[MarysLittleFlower]

I just read the first post in this thread from Spem in Alium and she addressed this sort if point too, I forgot.. My understanding was that grace builds on nature and if someone has a vocation (a call, rather than only a desire), they would be able to live that life too? I guess its hard to say before I've tried it. The communities I've looked at most have a lot of young Sisters and new vocations but it would still be important to have certain traits to stay there. After all if you become a Sister you live with these other women all your life and all their lives!

I don't know about me. I certainly have certain short comings, probably many!. I can't enter for a while anyway, if ever, and I guess if they don't think I have a vocation, they'd let me know if I'm ever a postulant.

I can be very perfectionistic towards myself and maybe with these considerations its good to remember that no one is perfect and a person can have areas of growth but still fit into that particular community and charism.. Certain things also develop with grace and growth in holiness over time

Edited February 19, 2016 by MarysLittleFlower

[Spem in alium]

5 hours ago, MarysLittleFlower said:

I just read the first post in this thread from Spem in Alium and she addressed this sort if point too, I forgot.. My understanding was that grace builds on nature and if someone has a vocation (a call, rather than only a desire), they would be able to live that life too? I guess its hard to say before I've tried it. The communities I've looked at most have a lot of young Sisters and new vocations but it would still be important to have certain traits to stay there. After all if you become a Sister you live with these other women all your life and all their lives!

I don't know about me. I certainly have certain short comings, probably many!. I can't enter for a while anyway, if ever, and I guess if they don't think I have a vocation, they'd let me know if I'm ever a postulant.

I can be very perfectionistic towards myself and maybe with these considerations its good to remember that no one is perfect and a person can have areas of growth but still fit into that particular community and charism.. Certain things also develop with grace and growth in holiness over time

You probably know that many congregations ask their applicants to complete what is called a "spiritual autobiography". In mine, there was a section where I was asked to write about qualities I thought I needed to work on, or areas of my life I wanted to improve. I had to do the same when I applied recently - write about attributes or habits I struggle with or see as a problem. I suppose this is done in order to see how a person thinks of themselves and what they identify as their own weaknesses, and to help the particular community get a better idea of who will potentially be living with them.  

I have come to see that (at least in my community) you need to be able to: respect others, appreciate differences, commit to schedules, take initiative (but also ask permission), and be kind and loving. These are, in my view, qualities anyone should have, but they seem particularly important when living in a community where there are great age gaps and many cultural differences.

MLF, we all have shortcomings. No one should expect a person to be "perfect" when they enter. The important thing is that you admit these shortcomings and are honest about them with yourself and with others. MANY times I was pulled up on something I did wrong, or criticised (constructively), or told I'd made a mistake. It could be so easy to say, "Oh no, I did this or that wrong, so that means I'm not meant to be a sister", but that would be a bit ridiculous. God's call goes beyond our mistakes -- He calls us to Him even though we are imperfect. My sisters have always encouraged me to keep going even though I messed up. And I trust that my superior and formation director would tell me if they thought I wasn't called here --- but my director recommended me for postulancy, so I guess there's something there

 

 

[Gabriela]

All your ex-boyfriends go on to become friars.

[Spem in alium]

1 minute ago, Gabriela said:

All your ex-boyfriends go on to become friars.

[Gabriela]

Behold the interwebz, where everything really is connected!  

[Julie]

6 hours ago, Gabriela said:

All your ex-boyfriends go on to become friars.

Haha I CAN'T be the only one!