meh

[Ice_nine]

I just don't really feel much like living anymore. Can't really talk about this in real life as people tend to overreact and assume that means I'm going to kill myself, which I'm not going to actually do even though sometimes it seems like a good idea. My job is really taxing and I feel trapped. I don't know how to accept this in any saintly way as I just feel exhausted most of the time. Sometimes I'm so tired that it just feels like what I imagine dying would feel like. I can't rest. I just feel miserable and I am probably not handling it very well. Concentrating on anything, including prayer and going to Mass, is just brutal. I don't know how much I have left in the tank.

I started seeing a therapist and I will see a psychiatrist next week so maybe that'll help idk