Excommunicate Pant-wearing Female Altar Serving Yoga Instructors

[Basilisa Marie]

Do my parishioners sin by forcing me to work on the Sabbath? 

[PhuturePriest]

1 hour ago, Basilisa Marie said:

Do my parishioners sin by forcing me to work on the Sabbath? 

The heathens shall henceforth be excommunicated.

[Not A Real Name]

Meh

[Norseman82]

Is excommunication of pantaloon-wearing female altar servers who do not cover their heads with veils (designed by Michael Voris) during yoga a serious enough reason to use NFP for charismatic Catholics who put ketchup on their hot dogs sold to them by Donald Trump?

Edited May 22, 2016 by Norseman82

[Socrates]

What?  No mention of guns, race/racism, homosexuality, or presidential candidates?  Meh.

[PhuturePriest]

As you wish.

If anyone holds guns are a divine right and practical sacrament that no legitimate authority has the power to take away, let him be anathema.

[MIKolbe]

10 hours ago, Socrates said:

What?  No mention of guns, race/racism, homosexuality, or presidential candidates?  Meh.

There's already a thread dedicated to trump......

[Archaeology cat]

On 5/21/2016, 11:58:29, Gabriela said:

Babies and small children shouldn't be allowed at Mass unless they've been knocked out with liquor or Nyquil.

Obviously you use liquor

[franciscanheart]

This is all Columbus's fault.

[CatherineM]

5 hours ago, Archaeology cat said:

Obviously you use liquor

It's cheaper. 

[Peace]

Pissing on the toilet seat in a public bathroom. Should be mortal, or at least a few thousand in purgatory.

[Socrates]

On 5/23/2016 at 2:00 AM, PhuturePriest said:

As you wish.

If anyone holds guns are a divine right and practical sacrament that no legitimate authority has the power to take away, let him be anathema.

Alright, that's more like it, Commie!

But I've already excommunicated all idolators of the state who hold that it has the divine right to disarm peaceful persons and take away their means to self-defense. 

[PhuturePriest]

2 hours ago, Socrates said:

Alright, that's more like it, Commie!

But I've already excommunicated all idolators of the state who hold that it has the divine right to disarm peaceful persons and take away their means to self-defense. 

Your excommunication is automatically null, given your love of cheese. It's in the rules.

[4588686]

On ‎5‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 7:28 PM, PhuturePriest said:

We're 5 months in without a major drama thread. Consequently, it has been very boring.

I am here to fix this.

This is a list of all the new actions/things which should result in formal excommunication:

Female altar servers
Practicing yoga
Wearing pantaloons
Skirts higher than the mid-point of calves
Make-up
Looking at anything other than a woman's eyes
Hugging before marriage (0.3 second Christian side-hugs performed without eye contact are acceptable under strict supervision and a stop watch)
Not using incense as your car freshner
Smiling during Mass
Telling a joke during a homily
A priest expressing any kind of joy whatsoever, especially during Mass
Playing Marty Haugen's music at Mass
Liking Marty Haugen's music
Being Marty Haugen

Discuss. Debate. Rip each other's hair out. Add to the list, should you so desire to fan the flames of glorious chaos.

Make @Hasan and @Winchester moderators again

[Spem in alium]

On ‎23‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 0:33 AM, He is Risen! said:

Hahaha, knee length wimple!

Ahem. Ankle-length, more like. Tsk tsk.

On ‎24‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 5:36 AM, Peace said:

Pissing on the toilet seat in a public bathroom. Should be mortal, or at least a few thousand in purgatory.

Does that also go with flossing in public bathrooms or on public transport?

[PhuturePriest]

On 5/27/2016 at 2:01 PM, Hasan said:

Make @Hasan and @Winchester moderators again

Oh, how I long to see my Sultan upon his rightful throne of chaos once more. Alas, I am a mere commoner.

[Socrates]

On 5/25/2016 at 0:46 AM, PhuturePriest said:

Your excommunication is automatically null, given your love of cheese. It's in the rules.

Silence, heretic!

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

On 5/22/2016 at 11:54 AM, PhuturePriest said:

 

Did you just imply that you want women to wear skin-tight clothing because you enjoy ogling at them, or was the message somehow lost in translation?

Holy scripture says " Don't stare at a womans beauty." It doesn't say you can't look/glance.

On 5/22/2016 at 11:54 AM, PhuturePriest said:

On 5/24/2016 at 5:36 AM, Peace said:

Pissing on the toilet seat in a public bathroom. Should be mortal, or at least a few thousand in purgatory.

Unless you wipe it off. It is so weird why so often there is urine on public toilet seats, perhaps they do it at home also. Yeah love yourself guys and stuff everyone else.

[dUSt]

What's a wimple?

[Anomaly]

47 minutes ago, dUSt said:

What's a wimple?

I thought you were Catholic for more than a few weeks. 

A Catholic hijab.