Calling your son sweetie pie?

[Anomaly]

3 minutes ago, dUSt said:

But really... can you? C'mon.

Yeah.  Gordon Ramsey is a closet swisher because he played with an easy bake oven...

[Nihil Obstat]

2 minutes ago, Anomaly said:

Yeah.  Gordon Ramsey is a closet swisher because he played with an easy bake oven...

Have you seen his family? Dayum. Beautiful wife, beautiful children. From the outside at least they certainly look like a family to emulate.  

[Anomaly]

Just now, Nihil Obstat said:

Have you seen his family? Dayum. Beautiful wife, beautiful children. From the outside at least they certainly look like a family to emulate.  

Yes, I have.  The point was sarcasm at ridiculous sensitivity over "gender behavior".

[Nihil Obstat]

4 minutes ago, Anomaly said:

Yes, I have.  The point was sarcasm at ridiculous sensitivity over "gender behavior".

Of course. I just wanted to comment. I like Gordon Ramsay. Use a lot of his recipes and I watch many of his shows.

[franciscanheart]

1 hour ago, Nihil Obstat said:

Of course. I just wanted to comment. I like Gordon Ramsay. Use a lot of his recipes and I watch many of his shows.

Don't tell phatmass. Admit something like that and you'll start hearing about how feminine you are. [insert eye roll here]

[Nihil Obstat]

Heh.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

Heck, Nihil has been a "brony" for years and we haven't questioned his masculinity. (Well, I haven't, at least.)

This situation has already become a "thing" because at least one parent has commented on a male parent calling his son "Sweetie Pie."

I see these particular circumstances as trying to protect a 3 or 4-year old from bullying, either by his peers or by comments from other parents. This child is too young to have to deal with that kind of stuff.

When the child is older, I sure hope that a male child could prefer piano over sports and not be bullied. If he is bullied, part of what will help him through is the boy's parents supporting his choices and being proud of their child, whether he's a piano player or a football player.

That said, every neighborhood is different. Texas has a reputation for having a "macho" culture. I'd hope that in the 21st century a male kid could play the the piano instead of football without being bullied, but maybe Texas is different.  However, if Texas IS different, it's even more important that the parents support their child's interests and dreams, especially if they are different from the norm.

In the meantime, a parent embarrassing his child in public should be reserved for when the child (male or female) is a teenager. Often the threat of embarrassment is the best tool a parent has to keep a teenager in line. "Quit grousing or I'll have to step into the middle of the school parking lot and sing the theme from the "Sound of Music" at the top of my lungs." (Any special talent can be substituted for the singing. However, the threat may be even more potent if the parent is tone deaf.  )

[Nihil Obstat]

I am not really anymore, but good example.  I am confident in my masculinity now, but at that age who knows. 

[franciscanheart]

9 hours ago, IgnatiusofLoyola said:

Heck, Nihil has been a "brony" for years and we haven't questioned his masculinity. (Well, I haven't, at least.)

This situation has already become a "thing" because at least one parent has commented on a male parent calling his son "Sweetie Pie."

I see these particular circumstances as trying to protect a 3 or 4-year old from bullying, either by his peers or by comments from other parents. This child is too young to have to deal with that kind of stuff.

When the child is older, I sure hope that a male child could prefer piano over sports and not be bullied. If he is bullied, part of what will help him through is the boy's parents supporting his choices and being proud of their child, whether he's a piano player or a football player.

That said, every neighborhood is different. Texas has a reputation for having a "macho" culture. I'd hope that in the 21st century a male kid could play the the piano instead of football without being bullied, but maybe Texas is different.  However, if Texas IS different, it's even more important that the parents support their child's interests and dreams, especially if they are different from the norm.

In the meantime, a parent embarrassing his child in public should be reserved for when the child (male or female) is a teenager. Often the threat of embarrassment is the best tool a parent has to keep a teenager in line. "Quit grousing or I'll have to step into the middle of the school parking lot and sing the theme from the "Sound of Music" at the top of my lungs." (Any special talent can be substituted for the singing. However, the threat may be even more potent if the parent is tone deaf.  )

Texas is far too large to say the state is or is not accepting of culture in a persons life, regardless of sex. I know plenty of people whose children — male and female — participate in both the arts and sports. It is never a point of mockery in any of the circles with which I am associated. I like to think it has something to do with education.

Perhaps I am ignorant, but I don't understand why a three year old would be bullied for having a loving and affectionate parent. I know a fair number of three year olds and the ones I know are more likely to make fun of you for falling that for communicating with a parent. But then, they're three.

As for parents bullying children, seriously? The way we are going to protect and help our children is by not speaking to them with love and affection in public? Really? So teach them that they need to hide who they are in order to be respected? That's dumb.

I'd like to think I could teach my children that bullying isn't kind. I'd like to think I could teach them that bullies are often ignorant or scared or hurting or some combination of those things. I would like to think I could show my child that being who you are is okay, and that being kind is far more effortless than being a jerk.

I also really hope I would never be around parents so judgmental that they needed to bully me or my kid because I used a term of endearment. It may happen, but then [reference above].

[Anomaly]

Bullying is often taught. Sweetie pie is not weird to a 4 year old unless they are taught it is.  

I wouldn't worry so much about giving the wrong message about gender role.   Is worry about giving the wrong message about kindness.   

Sweetie pie does not mean "weird girly name from weird girly dad".

[franciscanheart]

1 hour ago, Anomaly said:

Bullying is often taught. Sweetie pie is not weird to a 4 year old unless they are taught it is.  

I wouldn't worry so much about giving the wrong message about gender role.   Is worry about giving the wrong message about kindness.   

Sweetie pie does not mean "weird girly name from weird girly dad".

Word.

[dUSt]

19 hours ago, franciscanheart said:

Don't tell phatmass. Admit something like that and you'll start hearing about how feminine you are. [insert eye roll here]

Don't mistake what I'm trying to say. I'm all for femininity. I grew a beard to offset my femininity. My femininity is impressive. But, my masculinity has already been secured--and also reinforced by my beard. I just think it's important for a man to firmly establish his masculinity first, that's all.

3 hours ago, Anomaly said:

Sweetie pie does not mean "weird girly name from weird girly dad".

But really... doesn't it? C'mon.

8 hours ago, franciscanheart said:

I'd like to think I could teach my children that bullying isn't kind. I'd like to think I could teach them that bullies are often ignorant or scared or hurting or some combination of those things. I would like to think I could show my child that being who you are is okay, and that being kind is far more effortless than being a jerk.

Or, you could bully your kid at a young age so they learn how to deal with it.

[Maggyie]

21 hours ago, Nihil Obstat said:

Have you seen his family? Dayum. Beautiful wife, beautiful children. From the outside at least they certainly look like a family to emulate.  

So sad, his wife just lost their 5th child, a boy, at 20 weeks :'(

[Anomaly]

1 hour ago, dUSt said:

Don't mistake what I'm trying to say. I'm all for femininity. I grew a beard to offset my femininity. My femininity is impressive. But, my masculinity has already been secured--and also reinforced by my beard. I just think it's important for a man to firmly establish his masculinity first, that's all.

But really... doesn't it? C'mon.

Or, you could bully your kid at a young age so they learn how to deal with it.

I feel sorry for you that you fear parts of who you are that you have to grow a beard to compensate and hide behind. 

No, sweetie pie for four year olds isn't weird or damaging to gender identity unless adults do and teach the damage. I feel sorry for you, your kids, and others you damage unwittingly. 

Why close with the sarcasm?   It doesn't really blunt where you're so wrong.

Just because your dad called you sweetie, doesn't mean you have to be gay.  There used to be a lot of debate whether you're born gay or made gay.  No point in unnecessarily telling someone they were born or made gay because they were called sweetie, didn't play with trucks, or played girls softball.  

Being a man or woman is dependent on much more than following narrow cultural gender stereotypes.  Why change general behavioral tendencies and personal preferences into harmful, hate tainted, and destructive stereotypes?  Measures you either meet or fail?

You started a thread about the LGBT media prowess.  Much of it is backlash because we understand they're real humans too and we found out they all weren't monsters or super weird.  There are fewer of them and not as identifiable as people of a different color or race, so our institutionalized meanness wasn't as strong or ingrained. 

Now society overcompensates and tells boys who like to cook they're gay, but that's okay. Girls who play football are gay, but that's okay. Kids who don't fit some narrowminded, backwoods, ignorant stereotypes of gender behavior are weird, transgender, gender fluid, gender transitional, but that's okay.  Just be homosexual, bisexual, hypersexual, it's all good.  DNA has determined who you are, it's pointless to struggle and work on being who you want to be.  Be who society tells you to be, sweetie pie.

[dUSt]

3 minutes ago, Anomaly said:

Be who society tells you to be, sweetie pie.

I guess I agree with most of what you said, but this statement sums up the part where you are wrong.

We should be who God wants us to be, not society. Society, for the most part, is lost.

[Anomaly]

Just now, dUSt said:

I guess I agree with most of what you said, but this statement sums up the part where you are wrong.

We should be who God wants us to be, not society. Society, for the most part, is lost.

We need sarcasm brackets.  I was being sarcastic to illustrate the point of some unpleasant stereotypes that we bolster.

We are society.  

Society, as always, could be better.  That's why we discuss and fuss, else we're just singing on the Titanic.

[dUSt]

I blame society and magnets.

[Anomaly]

1 minute ago, dUSt said:

I blame society and magnets.

I don't blame God.  

[Nihil Obstat]

2 hours ago, Maggyie said:

So sad, his wife just lost their 5th child, a boy, at 20 weeks :'(

Yes, I saw that the other day. Very sad.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

I think this kid is very lucky that his father only calls him "Sweetie Pie."

My nickname in young childhood was "Neecy Poo Poo." Thankfully, my parents only used this nickname at home.