What do you bring to the convent?!

[StellaMaris]

Hi friends!

I'm new here and amazed by all the information shared, it's helped a ton (and fed my curiosity quite a bit). 

Now I was wondering, women (and men) who have entered or are about to enter a community, what what the 'oddest' thing you were told to bring, or what were you most surprised of you got to bring?

People always tend to think about the things they have to give up in order to follow the call, but what were you allowed to keep?

In Christ,

StellaMaris

 

[Lilllabettt]

1 hour ago, StellaMaris said:

Hi friends!

I'm new here and amazed by all the information shared, it's helped a ton (and fed my curiosity quite a bit). 

Now I was wondering, women (and men) who have entered or are about to enter a community, what what the 'oddest' thing you were told to bring, or what were you most surprised of you got to bring?

People always tend to think about the things they have to give up in order to follow the call, but what were you allowed to keep?

In Christ,

StellaMaris

 

Hankies. I think it was some insane number, like 60 of them? The concept of using and re-using a cloth for snot collection on the daily blew my mind. They did come in handy ... but I was glad I wasnt the laundry sister!

[Nunsuch]

Most communities today just ask you to bring clothes, and perhaps some books. If you are intended to study, a laptop. Sisters I know have brought phones, musical instruments, etc. You may or may not be able to bring a car, but many I know have brought bikes. Of course, it depends on the community. I'm talking about the majority--not more conservative communities that may still provide specific lists. 

[gloriana35]

This can vary considerably. If you are entering a convent, just ask what you may, must, or may not bring. There also is a variation in what might be expected in the way of a donation (or uni tuition, if you do not have a degree.) 

It has been ages since I entered the convent - but we had a few books we had to bring, and many things we could not. We could not even have a radio back then (though some communities I've seen mentioned here seem even stricter than ours, forty years ago.) I don't recall having to bring anything odd (unlike Sisters who'd entered many years earlier.) 

[StellaMaris]

3 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

Hankies. I think it was some insane number, like 60 of them? The concept of using and re-using a cloth for snot collection on the daily blew my mind. They did come in handy ... but I was glad I wasnt the laundry sister!

Haha, oh my!

[Lilllabettt]

1 hour ago, StellaMaris said:

Haha, oh my!

I also remember very specific instructions about type of underwear (eg no thongs) and pajamas. There was a decent sized list, and if we were bringing anything else that wasnt on it we had to ask permission.  This was back in 2006.

I remember that each article of clothing had to have my # sewn into it, to help the laundry sister do the sorting. The convent sent me little tags preprinted with the number. I believe I was #21, then became #22 when someone joined my batch last minute.  I didnt have a sewing machine so I sewed by hand, very messily, a label into each sock, bra, etc. 

[deusluxmea]

Lilllabett, sorry to be nosey, but how on earth did they police what underpants you brought in? Did they search your luggage for contraband?

[Lilllabettt]

2 hours ago, deusluxmea said:

Lilllabett, sorry to be nosey, but how on earth did they police what underpants you brought in? Did they search your luggage for contraband?

Well, we didnt do our own laundry. The laundry sister did. Presumably if she found herself folding a lacey thong and micro bra set she would notice. 

Edited July 31, 2019 by Lilllabettt

[Sponsa-Christi]

Still, in the Venn diagram of "women who are desperate to wear racy underwear" and "women who enter convents," I image there's not too much overlap!

[gloriana35]

I dearly hope that this custom no longer exists, anywhere, but our superiors could search our drawers and bags at any time. We were allowed to write letters once a month, and they did not have to be read (as would have been true not many years earlier)  but (just as one example) anyone whose family sent her postage stamps could find they'd disappeared from a drawer - the superior could take them for use in common.  It made me very uncomfortable when I'd go to get an item, such as underwear, and see that it had been pawed through whilst I wasn't there. 

We weren't forbidden to have family photographs, but they couldn't be visible unless they were of someone who was dead. One sister had a tiny, framed picture of her father - but couldn't have one of her mother, since her mother was alive.  

We had to bring bedding, but most pretended that they'd take old sheets and 'leave the news ones for someone else.' (I used the ones I brought - I must be a horribly worldly creature.) It was utter nonsense - those new sheets probably still are sitting on the shelves. If someone sent the convent a basket of fruit, and there were a number of apples and pears, but only two mangoes or persimmons, the latter-named fruits would rot - everyone 'left them for someone else, out of charity,' and, of course, no-one could take them without the odium of being uncharitable. 

[Antigonos]

5 minutes ago, gloriana35 said:

If someone sent the convent a basket of fruit, and there were a number of apples and pears, but only two mangoes or persimmons, the latter-named fruits would rot - everyone 'left them for someone else, out of charity,' and, of course, no-one could take them without the odium of being uncharitable. 

No one thought to cut them up and distribute pieces or cubes -- or, depending on the fruit, add them to a large fruit salad for everyone to enjoy?

I must be just too pragmatic, IMO.

Back in my antediluvian nursing school days, we had weekly room inspection ["a disordered room is indicative of a messy mind"] and I always occasioned bewilderment since I had items like art supplies for my hobby rather than tons of makeup...I was thought rather odd.  But we were present during the inspection.  I wouldn't have liked anyone rummaging through my things when I wasn't there.

Edited July 31, 2019 by Antigonos

[Nunsuch]

3 hours ago, Antigonos said:

No one thought to cut them up and distribute pieces or cubes -- or, depending on the fruit, add them to a large fruit salad for everyone to enjoy?

I must be just too pragmatic, IMO.

Back in my antediluvian nursing school days, we had weekly room inspection ["a disordered room is indicative of a messy mind"] and I always occasioned bewilderment since I had items like art supplies for my hobby rather than tons of makeup...I was thought rather odd.  But we were present during the inspection.  I wouldn't have liked anyone rummaging through my things when I wasn't there.

I have visited over 60 motherhouses in the course of my research (I stayed in most of them), and none of these were like what is being described here. [Well, maybe one.] This includes both contemplative and active congregations/houses. In all of them the sisters do their own laundry. These kinds of inspections and invasions of privacy went out shortly after Vatican II. I am really surprised that this stuff is still going on in the 21st century. 

[Antigonos]

It would seem to me that religious communities would find many of the strategies for group living used by kibbutzim to be efficient.  One of these is the centralized laundry, just as there is a centralized kitchen.  Nothing, per se, to do with religion.  [Right now, with an adult daughter living with us, who puts three or 4 items into the washing machine, rather than a full 8 kg load, it's impacting my water and electric bill badly!]

It would also be more economical to do bulk buying of certain items rather than expect everyone to bring their own, especially if uniformity is regarded as a virtue.

[gloriana35]

May I assure others that my post contained neither lies nor exaggeration. 

In the convents where I lived, Sisters took turns doing the laundry for the house,on specific days. I suppose there would have been some shock if anyone had black lace pantaloons, but many of the Sisters still wore the cotton knickers that come down to the knees. (Many still wore the 13th century habit then.)  I was referring to how superiors, at any time,could search a room or bag. I suppose they thought they were checking on holy poverty.

I meant 'pantaloons' - the auto correct turned it into 'pantaloons.'

 

Edited August 2, 2019 by gloriana35

[Dymphna]

On 7/31/2019 at 10:39 PM, Nunsuch said:

I have visited over 60 motherhouses in the course of my research (I stayed in most of them), and none of these were like what is being described here. [Well, maybe one.] This includes both contemplative and active congregations/houses. In all of them the sisters do their own laundry. These kinds of inspections and invasions of privacy went out shortly after Vatican II. I am really surprised that this stuff is still going on in the 21st century. 

Well, maybe things are different in Europe - in the community I know best, they definitely have communal laundry, complete with laundry sister and the sewn-on numbers. No further inspections though :-)

[Lilllabettt]

I must say. I seriously enjoyed not having to do my own laundry or my own cooking. Seriously seriously glad I didnt have to wash everyone's hankies.  It was a perk although sometimes a sacrifice (we ate what was prepared, the end.) 

We also had the "threat" of inspections that never took place. It wasnt "my" cell, "my" desk, "my" closet. It was ours, and the lack of expectation of privacy was part of living poverty. 

[Nunsuch]

7 hours ago, Dymphna said:

Well, maybe things are different in Europe - in the community I know best, they definitely have communal laundry, complete with laundry sister and the sewn-on numbers. No further inspections though :-)

Are you in Europe? All but 2 convents I have stayed in are in the United States. Interesting. Things haven't been this way in the vast majority of US communities since Vatican II.

[Sister Leticia]

I'm in Europe: I live in the UK, but have stayed in some of our houses on the continent, as well as outside Europe. We are apostolic-contemplative, and generally live in small communities (average 5). None of our communities have a "laundry sister" - and why should we? We're all capable of sorting and sticking our clothes, towels, sheets etc in a washing machine and then drying and ironing them! 

The closest we would come to this is that usually one sister looks after "house" laundry, ie tea towels, bath mats, hand-towels, which are for communal use, as well as things like tablecloths. But this isn't an onerous task - rarely more than one or maybe two machine-loads per week. There might be a bit more when there are guests, but that's it (and if the guest is my friend/relative, then naturally, I would prepare her room and launder her bedlinen and towels afterwards). 

We also take turns at cooking - no "kitchen sisters". Depending on numbers, and on available time, a community might have one person who does the bulk of the shopping, or who takes extra turns at cooking - that sort of thing. 

And yes, we do this in addition to our ministries and other responsibilities.

The only exceptions would be the houses where our elderly and infirm sisters live, those running retreat centres, and a couple of houses on the continent which run a "pensione" or a hostel for students.  

And I'd say this is the norm for most other communities here - again, there might be variations/exceptions eg if they're running an institution, but generally, we UK sisters wash our own undies, cook for each other, keep the house clean - and decide individually whether to use paper or cotton hankies.

I have some friends who are in enclosed monasteries. I've never asked them in-depth questions about their laundry arrangements (and I'm not about to!) but judging from the occasional comment, I assume they do their own laundry, with someone in charge of house stuff (and the guest mistress looking after guests). I do know that although someone is responsible for most of the cooking, they take turns at helping or washing up, or maybe at preparing supper to give the cook a break.

I know we need to be discreet, but these discussions should really help discerners build up a picture of contemporary religious life. So maybe within the bounds of that discretion, it would help (here and in other threads) if posters indicate the size and type of community (eg whether they're describing an enclosed monastery, or one which still has lay sisters etc) and give an idea of whether this is current/recent/40 years ago, and at least the continent if they feel they can't say which country. 

Edited August 3, 2019 by Sister Leticia
noticed a typo

[beatitude]

50 minutes ago, Sister Leticia said:

I'm in Europe: I live in the UK, but have stayed in some of our houses on the continent, as well as outside Europe. We are apostolic-contemplative, and generally live in small communities (average 5). None of our communities have a "laundry sister" - and why should we? We're all capable of sorting and sticking our clothes, towels, sheets etc in a washing machine and then drying and ironing them!  

I have two close friends who are Dominican friars, who have lived in large quite priories in different European countries, and one of them was joking about the suffering undergone by the brother responsible for the laundry whenever anything in tomato sauce appears at meals. So I think in larger communities they're more likely to have one person who is assigned to do laundry, which would make sense - it's much simpler and more straightforward for one person to do the washing for twenty, than to have all twenty friars trying to find their own slot to use the washing machine. In a little house it's simpler for people to do their own.

[Nunsuch]

My experience with various communities is much more in accord with Sister Leticia. Sisters do their own laundry, though general cleaning tasks are shared (and usually rotated). Only the infirm expect to have their laundry done for them, although elderly sisters able to do their own continue to do so. If someone gets tomato sauce on their clothing, it's their responsibility to get it out!