Discerning but afraid of unhealthy orders

[Agatha]

Yes, I agree that many mother superiors do not have good religious preparation, especially if they are the foundresses sometimes they do not go through postulancy and the other stages of formation.

Then, when, the new Sisters move up in the Community, they do not have good preparation either.  That might be part of the cause of  why some Communities are unhealthy. 

I also agree that the people in charge need to be spiritually mature. That is also very important in the Community being healthy.  Because if they put people in charge that are not spiritually mature that is probably where the problems start and that is probably why they do not get  solved.  They also need to be psychologically heathy. And act in a mature and charitable way.

[FutOSBSis]

On 1/25/2021 at 1:21 PM, Agatha said:

I would also like to add that not too long ago my mom told me about a radio show where they talked about religious Communities and what is going on.

They talked about how the Communities are being abusive and authoritative.

And also a psychologist that used to come out in the radio once said you don't know how many religious Communities come to me because they are having so many issues and the abuse of power that is going on. He did not go much into it because of confidentiality but he said  that he had also had women who are not in a religious Community anymore come to him and tell him the exact same things that the Sisters that he is helping out tell him.

Here is a website that shares some of the testimonies of women who have experienced such when they were in the convent. It's a blog started by a young woman who endured what you mentioned above and wanted to create awareness.

https://conventreform.wordpress.com/

[Agatha]

Thank you so much!!

God bless

[gloriana35]

I hope this does not sound condescending, but I'd be extremely careful about assuming a condition is common because of a radio programme. Not that those who participated are lying - there indeed are occasions where there are abuses in religious life - but 'mis list' about church organisations is a big draw in publications, media, and so forth today. 

 

[Agatha]

yes! I know it's sad isn't it? but it is the truth!!

 

[Agatha]

Unfortunately that type of abuse is going on in many Communities. 

Many women that enter religious life do not have the vocation and are not spiritually mature and they  act like high school girls when they are grown women. Some Communities take women that have had criminal records and are excepted into the Community. So that also has to do with what is going on,  That is why when women that have the vocation enter, they are not expecting this situation at all. Many of them come from loving and stable families that is why when they realize what is going on and they leave, some of them are traumatized. (some of them before they leave, like the girl I was telling you about)

There is not supposed to be any type of abuse in religious Communities. It is suppose to be a place where you pray together and for one another. The superior is to be a mother figure. A loving and supporting figure in your life, and so are the Sisters in charge. The mother superior is suppose to bring you closer to God not further from Him. A religious Community should be a place where you help each other become holy. It is supposed to be a loving family,

where you are safe and happy.

My friend is doing better, but she is still has some anxiety when she thinks about things that happened in that Community. ( but she is doing much better)

You should have seen her when she came back.

Please pray for her!

Pax

 

[Agatha]

Well, some women have gone through abuse in religious communities. In the radio show it was not the women talking about abuse in religious life.  It was about information that they have because of investigations.  It is sad that women have to go through abuse like in my friend's case. I have seen her suffer about this and I have seen other women suffer about the abuse they suffered as well, so, I do not think that they are lying. 

The psychologist, I'm sure was not lying either! 

I have seen a young women go back home all traumatized because of all the abuse she went through! It is sad!! 

P

When women have told me about the abuse they have suffered, I can see that they are being honest and a lot of hurt in their eyes. I can't imagine someone living in a healthy religious Community and lying about it. If they live in a religious Community where they are treated with kindness, dignity and respect, then I'm sure that they are enjoying that and thanking God for that blessing.

Please pray for women that want to be a religious Sister to answer God's call,

to find a good and healthy religious Community, So she and the Community can help one another become Saints!!

Pax