Anxiety and doubts about religious life?

[Anastasia]

4 hours ago, StThereseMaria said:

The reason why i think one has to be special to enter a religious life is because most saints who entered religious life, I hear about how much good they are and they have received visions from God etc. For example, St Therese of liseux.

It is a dangerous way to think - "special" etc. Many people entered monasteries and a few became saints. On the other hand, much more people did not enter monasteries but some of them also became saints.

God gives visions and revelations to whoever He wants, regardless they holiness. St Teresa of Avila (a great Carmelite mystic who had received superabundant consolations from Our Lord) insists that visions etc. are not at all necessary for sanctity. 

On the other hand, every Christian has a kind of a mystical experience if he does not close his heart to God. When the Holy Spirit infuses into a mind a sudden deep understanding of the Scripture passage or a dogma, or when a person feels God speaks to him in a prayer it is also a kind of mystical experience. A "simple" person who after Mass sits in front of the Tabernacle in silence simply because he feel that is so good to be there with God is also having a mystical experience.

Someone enters a monastery not because he is special but because it is more fitting for him to follow Christ there than in the world. And there are huge sorrows there to endure. I think you got very sound advices here; I agree with others - the first step is to immerse yourself in the Catholic tradition. If God wishes so, eventually you will enter a monastery; if He does not then He will provide you with another path.

Edited March 17, 2021 by Anastasia

[StThereseMaria]

20 minutes ago, Anastasia said:

It is a dangerous way to think - "special" etc. Many people entered monasteries and a few became saints. On the other hand, much more people did not enter monasteries but some of them also became saints.

God gives visions and revelations to whoever He wants, regardless they holiness. St Teresa of Avila (a great Carmelite mystic who had received superabundant consolations from Our Lord) insists that visions etc. are not at all necessary for sanctity. 

On the other hand, every Christian has a kind of a mystical experience if he does not close his heart to God. When the Holy Spirit infuses into a mind a sudden deep understanding of the Scripture passage or a dogma, or when a person feels God speaks to him in a prayer it is also a kind of mystical experience. A "simple" person who after Mass sits in front of the Tabernacle in silence simply because he feel that is so good to be there with God is also having a mystical experience.

Someone enters a monastery not because he is special but because it is more fitting for him to follow Christ there than in the world. And there are huge sorrows there to endure. I think you got very sound advices here; I agree with others - the first step is to immerse yourself in the Catholic tradition. If God wishes so, eventually you will enter a monastery; if He does not then He will provide you with another path.

Hmm...thanks so much anna! 

Whenever I read stories of saints/believers who get visions from God, I wonder why? I am just curious  but it sometimes makes me wish I could get one as well...

[Anastasia]

41 minutes ago, StThereseMaria said:

I am just curious  but it sometimes makes me wish I could get one as well...

Understandably so however both  Roman Catholics and Eastern Orthodox Church insist on "never wish for the experiences" because if you do you open yourself to the delusions created by Devil and your own psyche. We are to desire to be with God, to be in  union with Him - how He does it it is up to Him and to us. We have to desire God for His own sake. This is a very common trap, to shift to desire the experiences and not God.

The safest road is one of humility "Lord, I am nothing do as You wish with me".

I think it would benefit you greatly if your read St John of the Cross. St Therese considered him to be her spiritual father.

[Anastasia]

Anyway, to round up - I do not know how the Roman Catholic Church goes about that but if you came to the Orthodox Church you would be expected to immerse yourself into the liturgical life of the Church and also to begin following the normal rules, like fasting and a private prayer rule and also reading the Church fathers (early theologians) etc. This is hard enough to occupy yourself for several years but that school is invaluable. As for the monastery, a common practice in the Orthodoxy (for those who have been in the Church for some years) is to live in the world according to a monastic rule but only with the blessing of own spiritual father and in obedience to him. If he manages then he can go and try to live in a monastery as a lay person who helps monastics in the work and prays with them etc. seeing if his place is truly there.

All that being said to show you that you only at the door into the Church and need to learn the basic things which as far as I know are quite alien to most Protestants. All the best.

[gloriana35]

I was referring to the number of years it has been since I made my vows - there is nothing about which you should be troubled by my responses.

Some of the best-known mystics (Teresa of Avila, for example) were very wary of their unusual experiences, and always cautious about the possibility of deception. Their lives often were centred on orthopraxy - liturgical prayer, manual labour in accord with the practise of their monasteries, study.  Most saints never had unusual experiences (in the sense of visions, for example.) I don't think it is something anyone should seek.

 

[Antigonos]

I feel that if you need to have the meaning of  "consecrated life" explained to you, this is an indication of how much study you have ahead of you -- right back to basics.

[truthfinder]

I want to mention here something that has not been picked up by any of the other commenters: her stated aromanticism.  What you write comes across as if you have completely dismissed marriage, and are now asking what you do with your life.  This sort of thinking of falling into religious life is problematic (same as if a man or woman said, I can't find a spouse, so I guess I must go to the monastery. Or vice versa, no monastery will take me, I will marry the next person who shows interest in me.)

Look more into converting to Catholicism, get a steady habit of prayer, put religious life out of your mind for awhile, and just try to live as a good Christian here and now. Solid Christianity is not based on feelings, and particularly not the sort that result from chasing mystical "highs." Our job is to take up our cross - in the form that it is given to us by God. The rest will follow.

[gloriana35]

I just found this link, entirely by accident, when I was searching on another topic. It's hilarious, but has a good deal of solid insight about those who fret over vocation. (Not that I like the priest's writing style - I'd shudder if I ever heard someone say 'nope' - but read this with consciousness of the humour!) 

 

https://younan.blog/2020/05/23/discerning-a-vocation/

[StThereseMaria]

1 hour ago, truthfinder said:

I want to mention here something that has not been picked up by any of the other commenters: her stated aromanticism.  What you write comes across as if you have completely dismissed marriage, and are now asking what you do with your life.  This sort of thinking of falling into religious life is problematic (same as if a man or woman said, I can't find a spouse, so I guess I must go to the monastery. Or vice versa, no monastery will take me, I will marry the next person who shows interest in me.)

Look more into converting to Catholicism, get a steady habit of prayer, put religious life out of your mind for awhile, and just try to live as a good Christian here and now. Solid Christianity is not based on feelings, and particularly not the sort that result from chasing mystical "highs." Our job is to take up our cross - in the form that it is given to us by God. The rest will follow.

 

Sorry, if I what I said comes across as a different meaning but that's isn't the reason why I want to pursue to a religious life. I never once even thought of it or entering one until one day, it popped into my head. I know that I'm fully content with my life as a single person and before all the idea of a religious life even came to my mind, I knew that that is the kind of life I wanted: A single life...but I believe God has other plans.

 

It is not like I'm dismissing marriage and so that means I have to enter a religious life. It just this is kind of life I want and I know that it is gonna be like this for the rest of my life. Hope I make sense this time.

 

edit: The reason why I put my aromanticism is because I wanna know if people out there have similar experience to me because I have only heard the majority of people entering religious life DO want a family and a spouse but some still decide to devote their life to God. However mine is different... Again, I never knew once thought of a religious life and I knew that pretty much I wanna live a single life and live by myself with my cat and three dogs lol but...the idea of it just came into my head out of nowhere and BAM, here I am thinking about it. 

Edited March 18, 2021 by StThereseMaria

[Antigonos]

As you investigate Catholicism, you will discover that there are many paths to religious life, not all involve entering a convent.  Here on the forum, there are members in private vows but who live in secular life, Consecrated Virgins who don't appear obviously "religious" in daily life [but who are, intensely].  They are as devout as those in monastic life.

Therefore, your first step is to become thoroughly informed about Catholicism, and THEN, after conversion, if that happens, begin to investigate the different aspects of living as a Catholic.

[Nunsuch]

8 hours ago, Antigonos said:

As you investigate Catholicism, you will discover that there are many paths to religious life, not all involve entering a convent.  Here on the forum, there are members in private vows but who live in secular life, Consecrated Virgins who don't appear obviously "religious" in daily life [but who are, intensely].  They are as devout as those in monastic life.

Therefore, your first step is to become thoroughly informed about Catholicism, and THEN, after conversion, if that happens, begin to investigate the different aspects of living as a Catholic.

There are also Oblates in the Benedictine tradition, Third Order Seculars (Carmelite, Franciscan, Dominican), and Associates in many active congregations of sisters. 

I agree with what so many here have said on two counts. You are putting the cart before the horse if consider religious life before becoming a Catholic. And much of what you say here sounds more like infatuation or romanticism, rather than true vocational call. Religious life, properly entered into, is a lifelong commitment, which requires deep discernment, seriousness of purpose, and love (different from infatuation). You may in fact end up there, but you are nowhere near ready to think seriously about the possibility.

[StThereseMaria]

34 minutes ago, Nunsuch said:

There are also Oblates in the Benedictine tradition, Third Order Seculars (Carmelite, Franciscan, Dominican), and Associates in many active congregations of sisters. 

I agree with what so many here have said on two counts. You are putting the cart before the horse if consider religious life before becoming a Catholic. And much of what you say here sounds more like infatuation or romanticism, rather than true vocational call. Religious life, properly entered into, is a lifelong commitment, which requires deep discernment, seriousness of purpose, and love (different from infatuation). You may in fact end up there, but you are nowhere near ready to think seriously about the possibility.

You’re right. I don’t wanna sound rude but how is what I said sound like romanticisation of a religious life? How do I know it’s a true vocational call?

[Nunsuch]

5 minutes ago, StThereseMaria said:

You’re right. I don’t wanna sound rude but how is what I said sound like romanticisation of a religious life? How do I know it’s a true vocational call?

You are romanticizing what it is all about, including the "perfection" of those called. You also seem to think that most religious receive visions and other highly unusual holy signs. They don't--and many of those who think they do are living under forms of delusion. Religious life, like anything worthwhile, is HARD, even for those truly called to it. [They same could be said for marriage.] That doesn't mean, by the way, that it isn't also joyful. But it is true joy--not giddiness.

How do you know if it is a true call? First, become a Catholic, and engage in serious spiritual practice for at least 2-3 years afterward. Ideally, find a spiritual director experienced in guiding people through discernment of religious life (ideally, a religious her/himself). Do some serious consideration of the range of forms that religious consecration may take, and receive guidance as to which, if any, is appropriate for you. Etc. Almost no calls involve Pauline "fall off the horse" moments, exciting as those may sound.

[profer_lumen_cæcis]

On 3/14/2021 at 5:30 PM, StThereseMaria said:

so... I'm 17 and i discovered that I have no desire for marriage/romantic relationship nor kids as well (I'm aromantic- I experience no romantic feelings and i discovered this when i was 15 as well. )  when i was 15 and things haven't changed ever since. I accepted the fact that I want to be single for the rest of my life and I'm pretty much happy about it :). However, one day, i was busy doing something and all of a sudden, the idea of a religious life popped into my head out of nowhere and i thought about it for a while and the thought went away. Fast forward, as I began to get closer to the Lord, the idea of religious life came to my mind AGAIN LOL! and now, i cant stop thinking about it . 

@StThereseMaria, so much wonderful advice has been posted to this thread! One thing I think might be worth adding:

After you convert to Catholicism, if you persevere in discerning a vocation, remember that a lack of romantic feelings and a desire to remain single do not in and of themselves necessarily point to a religious vocation. Romanticism, desire for family life, and want for children all, in varying degrees, are important aspects of a religious vocation. To become a nun is to choose Our Lord as your spouse--that is the very reason why many traditional orders still have the beautiful "wedding dress" clothing ceremony. Life in a monastery is very similar to family life, and one with a religious vocation must be willing to treat her Mother and Sisters as actual family. And a desire for children is extremely important--as a nun, you will have *many* spiritual children for whose souls you care very much: one of the pivotal aspects of religious life is prayer and penance for those who do not pray and perform penances themselves.

Often times I fear that people view religious life as an escape from family life, when in reality it is simply another form of family life. This is another area where a spiritual director would be helpful if, after your conversion, you still experience that desire to give yourself completely for Our Lord

 

Prayers for you on this special Feast of St. Joseph!

 

Edited March 19, 2021 by profer_lumen_cæcis

[StThereseMaria]

3 minutes ago, profer_lumen_cæcis said:

@StThereseMaria, so much wonderful advice has been posted to this thread! One thing I think might be worth adding:

After you convert to Catholicism, if you persevere in discerning a vocation, remember that a lack of romantic feelings and a desire to remain single do not in and of themselves necessarily point to a religious vocation. Romanticism, desire for family life, and want for children all, in varying degrees, are important aspects of a religious vocation. To become a nun is to choose Our Lord as your spouse--that is the very reason why many traditional orders still have the beautiful "wedding dress" clothing ceremony. Life in a monastery is very similar to family life, and one with a religious vocation must be willing to treat her Mother and Sisters as actual family. And a desire for children is extremely important--as a nun, you will have *many* spiritual children: one of the pivotal aspects of religious life is prayer and penance for those who do not pray and perform penances themselves.

Often times I fear that people view religious life as an escape from family life, when in reality it is simply another form of family life.

 

Prayers for you on this special Feast of St. Joseph!

 

thanks so much for the advice! If I may ask, why do you want to pursue a religious life? Where did you get the idea?

[profer_lumen_cæcis]

Just now, StThereseMaria said:

thanks so much for the advice! If I may ask, why do you want to pursue a religious life? Where did you get the idea?

Is it okay if I send you a direct message?

[StThereseMaria]

1 minute ago, profer_lumen_cæcis said:

Is it okay if I send you a direct message?

yh

[sr.christinaosf]

In looking over this thread, I was reminded of a discussion Myths and Misconceptions about Religious Life; it may be helpful here.

[gloriana35]

1 hour ago, sr.christinaosf said:

In looking over this thread, I was reminded of a discussion Myths and Misconceptions about Religious Life; it may be helpful here.

The link is broken.

[Anastasia]

Romantic feelings are good and can be very useful, being properly used. We have a term in the Eastern Orthodoxy, "a calling grace". It is well-known that after a person is baptized he feels like he has wings. Everything is very easy: severe fasting, go to the Liturgy to a distant monastery on the crack of dawn, standing in the church for three-four hours (Orthodox services, especially monastic, are that long), reading the Church fathers and so on. The neophyte cannot get enough of that and everything is sweet. This is a special grace which must be used for learning the basics, the discipline of prayer and fasting which will help a person to go on and to persevere when "the calling grace" will be taken away. And it will.

The same happens with many in monasteries. Initially they are literally flying there and everything is easy.

The same happens with the newly wed. They have a capital of a romantic love to build upon.