I think I'm having a Crisis of faith

[Catholicmom97]

Not necessarily to do with believing in God, but more so with the Catholic church itself.

Its been coming on the past few weeks but this last few days it's came to a head.

I feel like the more I study church teaching/history the less I understand about why we do things or why horrible things have happened under the roof of the Catholic church and certain things were taught to believe. It would take a lot of time to dive into but it's really affecting me. I believe Jesus is present in the Eucharist but I'm beginning to distrust the churches authority I guess? Idk I'm so lost and I feel like it doesn't make any sense as to why the cardinals and pope's over the years are just allowed to decide one day "this is a sin and this is not, oh wait never mind this is okay but we was wrong about this..."

That probably doesn't even make sense the way I've tried to explain it.

I've been so depressed about it I feel like I'm on the verge of scrupulously but not quite since I'm just disagreeing with certain things. 

Prayers are appreciated

[Totally Franciscan]

The Catholic Church is lead by men, sinful as we all are.  I too have been disappointed in so many of them, but inspired by so many more.  Look at all the saints who have shown us the way to eternal life with God.  The saints have held close to Jesus and His Blessed Mother, and so should we.  Don't let what is happening in our Church weigh you down. Pray for those who have been led astray.  Pray to Our Lord and His Mother to be led to goodness and light.  Always look to Jesus and find peace in Him.

[Archaeology cat]

Sometimes I just echo the words of St Peter, “to whom would we go. . .” And to be thankful nothing relies on me understanding all of it. 
 

I definitely understand scrupulosity. I’m OCD, so it comes with the territory. And there can be a fine line there. It’s only been recently that I’ve realized more how to identify when it’s my OCD taking over. 
 

not sure any of that helps. Praying

[MIKolbe]

First off...you have my prayers.

You said you believe in Jesus in the eucharist. Maybe start there? Maybe end there? I am no spiritual director...I barely have my ish together on a good day. But Jesus in the eucharist sustains me in some way, even as I get in the way many times. My faith grows, is nourished, and is strengthened in Him. Though I am unsure I share your concerns about authority, I do know what it is like to be hurt by the Church and to witness that hurt in others. I know the pain (in my own way) of being hurt by those who call themselves "believers", or worse "Catholics". Even worse are those times I was the one doing the hurting.

But I always come back to the eucharist. Someone once said, if the eucharist is just a symbol...the hell with it. And we know it's not just a symbol...and I think our faith is well focused in that truth of His love for you and me.

I tried to have this make sense, but I'm pretty much an ass...so your mileage may vary.

Even in your struggles, know you are immensely loved by Him IN them.

Pax.