Trad wife movement vs working wives

[little2add]

3 hours ago, Anastasia13 said:

That’s exactly my thinking. I see this trend with these women who will be totally unprepared if that happens. The only thing they have going for them is their social media and hopefully life insurance.

Hence, the importance of the sacrament of holy matrimony.  

[Anastasia13]

3 hours ago, little2add said:

Hence, the importance of the sacrament of holy matrimony.  

I don’t understand. What does saying this have to do either with them being prepared if they become widows?

[little2add]

22 hours ago, Anastasia13 said:

I don’t understand. What does saying this have to do either with them being prepared if they become widows?

Is it possible that the quality of life has diminished over the last 50 years because of the decline in religious principles, particularly the importance of holy matrimony.

after all, Approximately 40% of all births in the U.S. in 2020 were to unmarried women.  The percentage of children born out of wedlock in 1960 was approximately 5%.

Is this a statistic anomaly or something else?

[tinytherese]

On 4/12/2025 at 6:58 PM, little2add said:

Is it possible that the quality of life has diminished over the last 50 years because of the decline in religious principles, particularly the importance of holy matrimony.

after all, Approximately 40% of all births in the U.S. in 2020 were to unmarried women.  The percentage of children born out of wedlock in 1960 was approximately 5%.

Is this a statistic anomaly or something else?

So husbands die because unmarried women get pregnant? That doesn't make any sense.

Here's a comment I wrote in response to a blog.

SAHM stands for stay at home mom.

 

https://overapplesandroses.blogspot.com/2023/07/the-past-is-foreign-country.html

Tiny Therese

Many people don’t realize that rich women in the past not only had servants to cook and clean, but governesses as well so that they could focus on running the household and being attentive hostesses to guests. Some women in Jane Austen’s time ran boarding schools for girls. Women worked in factories during the Industrial Revolution.

The Bible itself doesn’t insist that all women be SAHM. Exodus 1:15-22 cites that women were midwives and even stood up to the Pharaoh who ordered them to murder baby boys. “And because the midwives feared God he gave them families” (21). Proverbs 31:10-31 praise wives who make money on the side.

Lots of college or university graduates, especially in the U.S. have school debt that takes them decades to pay off. So having a housewife isn’t very practical. The employment world isn’t what it used to be.

One grandpa of mine didn’t finish high school but took on an apprenticeship to become a plumber’s assistant. He supported himself, his wife, and three kids without my grandma needing to work outside the home. My other grandpa graduated from high school, did one year of technical school, and made a living doing engineering work. He also supported himself, his wife, and three kids without my grandma needing to work outside the home.

Not every woman is cut out to be a SAHM. Wives may resent their husbands and kids if it isn’t for them. Their families will likely pick up on it. We don’t want kids growing up thinking that they’re burdens. We also don’t want women to think that they must choose between motherhood and their dreams. How many pro-choice advocates claim that babies will get in the way of women having fulfilling lives?

SAHMs with degrees are often accused of wasting their education or that they do nothing all day. Why they don’t consider cooking, cleaning, and caring for kids work is beyond me. Cooks, maids, janitors, day care workers, babysitters, and nannies are paid to do such tasks. I encountered a man who insisted that housewives were leeches, living off their husband’s money instead of working.

[tinytherese]

21 minutes ago, tinytherese said:

So husbands die because unmarried women get pregnant? That doesn't make any sense.

Here's a comment I wrote in response to a blog.

SAHM stands for stay at home mom.

That reply and that blog quote reference were two separate posts that got unexpectedly merged. I tried to fix it, but I wasn't permitted to edit that.

Edited April 14, 2025 by tinytherese

[little2add]

3 hours ago, tinytherese said:

That doesn't make any sense.

yes

[little2add]

On 4/11/2025 at 9:42 PM, Anastasia13 said:

What does saying this have to do either with them being prepared if they become widows?

Everything!  Life is a struggle, no matter what your status in life is.  Single, married, divorced or separated, rich or poor.   Life's a beesh  and then you die.

My spouse had my back and I had hers, we lived paycheck to paycheck and raised three beautiful children.  My spouse passed away, sometime ago, and I have never been the same if it wasn't for my children and grandchildren, I would have surely died from despair.

I feel that at least in my case, holy matrimony truly saved my life.

BTW: my spouse was a SAHM

[tinytherese]

3 hours ago, little2add said:

Everything!  Life is a struggle, no matter what your status in life is.  Single, married, divorced or separated, rich or poor.   Life's a beesh  and then you die.

My spouse had my back and I had hers, we lived paycheck to paycheck and raised three beautiful children.  My spouse passed away, sometime ago, and I have never been the same if it wasn't for my children and grandchildren, I would have surely died from despair.

I feel that at least in my case, holy matrimony truly saved my life.

BTW: my spouse was a SAHM

I still don't understand. Unmarried women get pregnant. This makes husbands die for some reason.  So in conclusion, wives shouldn't have careers in case their husbands die. I don't see any logic in these claims. 

No one in this thread is saying that marriage is bad. What we're debating is whether wives should be able to have careers. Someone brought up that not having a career is a problem if a woman's husband dies. How will she financially support herself and any children?

[little2add]

Motherhood is a career.

No one (including myself) in this thread is saying that having a career is bad, either.  

In fact, nearly all the families with children (I know) today, both spouses have to work in order to make ends meet.  

What are boils down to , is priorities and the quality of your life? 

Edited April 18, 2025 by little2add

[Norseman82]

On 4/16/2025 at 5:48 PM, little2add said:

Everything!  Life is a struggle, no matter what your status in life is.  Single, married, divorced or separated, rich or poor.   Life's a beesh  and then you die.

My spouse had my back and I had hers, we lived paycheck to paycheck and raised three beautiful children.  My spouse passed away, sometime ago, and I have never been the same if it wasn't for my children and grandchildren, I would have surely died from despair.

I feel that at least in my case, holy matrimony truly saved my life.

BTW: my spouse was a SAHM

But what if it were YOU who had passed away leaving behind your wife and three children while they were still young (say pre-teens)?

[little2add]

If  I passed away there isn't a much I could do?  If I was a surviving spouse, I would pray!

On 4/17/2025 at 10:25 PM, Norseman82 said:

But what if it were YOU who had passed away leaving behind your wife and three children while they were still young (say pre-teens)?

 

[tinytherese]

On 4/19/2025 at 12:26 PM, little2add said:

If  I passed away there isn't a much I could do?  If I was a surviving spouse, I would pray!

 

Yes, prayer is good. No one in this thread is questioning that. Several of us are confused about your posts that make irrelevant points about the topic of wives having careers.

The question is "If stay at home mom has a husband who dies should she get a job to support herself and her children?"

[little2add]

yes

14 hours ago, tinytherese said:

If stay at home mom has a husband who dies should she get a job to support herself and her children?"

 

[Anastasia13]

On 4/21/2025 at 1:59 AM, little2add said:

yes

 

And what could she do to make that easier should she find herself as a widow with young children? Is that something that women should be considering when choosing how to be at home?

 

(I am posting on the assumption that there are things between being a full trad wife making homemade cereal every morning and being a career-driven mom who is barely at home).

Edited April 23, 2025 by Anastasia13
Clarification of assumptions

[little2add]

foster care with relatives was done in the past.  

[little2add]

On 4/20/2025 at 2:34 PM, tinytherese said:

your posts that make irrelevant points 

In your opinion, my thoughts about this subject are beyond your understanding. They are, however, relevant ( in my humble opinion,)

you on the other hand,,  be slightly naïve about this subject, no offense

 

 

[Anastasia13]

13 hours ago, little2add said:

In your opinion, my thoughts about this subject are beyond your understanding. They are, however, relevant ( in my humble opinion,)

you on the other hand,,  be slightly naïve about this subject, no offense

 

 

I found TinyTherese to be more reasonable and honestly agree a bit with her in that point. I say that with my nativity based in having almost been a widow and being privileged upper middle class near relatives.

[little2add]

In today's day and age, it is nearly impossible for a family to survive on one paycheck, granted.  I myself raise my three children on my single income and my wife stayed home and made many sacrifices. We didn't have money for our Kids college tuition or new clothes or vacation to Disneyland like all my friends and neighbors but we got by.

In the last 20 years, it's become much more difficult to live (support a family) , virtually all my family and neighbors, friends need two paychecks.  

Losing a spouse is a tremendous burden and money (or lack thereof) is only a small part of the pain.

 

 

 

 

Edited April 24, 2025 by little2add

[Anastasia13]

I agree with this:

[Luigi]

Go jump in a lake.