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Sanvean

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As the subject says, sometimes it is so hard being a convert in her early twenties. My roommates have spent so long, it seems, living as Catholics, and are, at this point, relatively sure that they don't have a vocation.

Me, I was received into the Church at the end of my second year of university. I guess you could say that this makes it very, very clear that I don't have a vocation to the religious life - I am going to be paying back these student loans of mine for a very long time. Everything is very much set in my life.

But the thought doesn't go away... what if I do have a vocation?

I ignore it, for the most part... it's important to not confuse the religious fervour of a convert beginning the path to holiness with a religious vocation.

So, I keep plugging along, memorizing my biological reactions, spending most of my free time in prayer, and deepening my life in the Sacraments. After all, that's what we're all called to do.

Nevertheless, that little nagging question just doesn't go away. It's really pretty frustrating, and a little saddening.

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Why saddening?

You mention that you were received into the church end of your 2nd year at Uni. I was received at the end of my first. Before i was confirmed i got the hagging you talk about. Now, only 6 months after my confirmation, i have realised i am being called. My priest agrees and says it isnt religou fervour, as i never really had the inclination for it, until the nagging started.

The nagging is how most people start their quest to religous life. Have you spoken about this to your priest? I was a bit embarrased asking my priest if he thought i may be being called, after i all ive only been 'in' a few months, i've barely found my feet. My priest has said this isnt unusual at all.

If you believe God called you to become a Catholic, then vocation is simply an extension of that call. But dont ignore it, talk to priests, sisters, nuns, fellow Catholic friends. Pray on it, buy some books on it, write to any orders that interets you, ask them to send you some stuff, there may be one you can meet up with and have a chat.

Remember, some people dont get called until their 50's or 60's so if you are still in your 20's, you are still young, like me!

Its not easy making that first step, but you may have tripped on something amazing, dont you want to check it out?

God Bless

Adam

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First of all...everyone has a Vocation! Now I am guessing you mean a Vocation to the religous life...well, just know that the issue with the student loans...'Yahweh Jhira'(sp?) God will provide. Vocation's are tight because it will come to you...there is no need in being depressed because you don't know what it is...our vocation (with a little 'v') is to be Holy! That's what I am going for right now...God will show me where he want's me to serve later.

Totus Tuus

Andy

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[quote name='Sanvean' date='Oct 4 2004, 02:35 PM'] As the subject says, sometimes it is so hard being a convert in her early twenties. My roommates have spent so long, it seems, living as Catholics, and are, at this point, relatively sure that they don't have a vocation.

Me, I was received into the Church at the end of my second year of university. I guess you could say that this makes it very, very clear that I don't have a vocation to the religious life - I am going to be paying back these student loans of mine for a very long time. Everything is very much set in my life.

But the thought doesn't go away... what if I do have a vocation?

I ignore it, for the most part... it's important to not confuse the religious fervour of a convert beginning the path to holiness with a religious vocation.

So, I keep plugging along, memorizing my biological reactions, spending most of my free time in prayer, and deepening my life in the Sacraments. After all, that's what we're all called to do.

Nevertheless, that little nagging question just doesn't go away. It's really pretty frustrating, and a little saddening. [/quote]
Whenever a person nags that means they want you to do something you are not doing. If God, in whose image and likeness we are made, is nagging you I would imagine that something is going on there.

I explained it to 3rd graders the other day like this: You know when you hear someone whispering your name in the dark, but you just don't know who it is, then you hear them getting closer, and whispering a little bit louder, then when you turn the light on you finally see who it was whispering?

God does the same thing, only He does not stop...believe me, He does not stop. No matter how much you run, no matter how much you hide, no matter how much you ignore, He will continue to call. If He is calling you it might be a good time to explore that more, and, in fact, bring it to your prayer. You say you want to grow in prayer and the sacramental life, I would bet that if you start bringing this into your prayer your prayer will take a whole new turn and open doors that have been shut or some you may have never known existed.

I would encourage you to explore it more, as it seems that there might be something going on there more than just being converted.

God Bless

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First and foremost, I apologize for any misunderstanding in my initial post, Andy. I have been rather under the weather lately, leading me to be a little more lax in my communications than I would typically prefer. You would be quite correct in your assumption that I was referring to a vocation to the religious life, as I iterated several times later in the post. I seem to have created some obscurity with my periodic alterations between the more full, proper terminology, and the more vague shorter terminology I was using.

I'm certainly not depressed about the situation, but thank you for the encouragement. My frustration is more that I have a nagging suspicion as to what my Vocation may be, and balk a little at what that might involve, not that I have no idea, but you are quite right... God will indeed provide!

Adam, Theologian in Training, and FutureSoror... thank you for your responses. No, I haven't talked to my priest about this(who, was, incidentally named the Associate Vocations Director for my Diocese)... as you said, Adam, it does seem really embarrassing to talk about this sort of thing with my priest so soon after my reception into the church. I know he would be very gentle about the matter, regardless, but it seems so awkward to take away from the time he has to juggle administering the Sacraments and acting as Associate Vocations Director.

This is definitely something that has been part of my prayer, which, since I returned to school and started attending Daily Mass again, has only intensified the nagging suspicion. The question, I suppose, is whether or not the nagging is coming from God.

I know... which is why I should be exploring the matter more. It's just a somewhat frightening concept.

-Veronica

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Sanvean,
I know what you mean about others thinking that your fervor for the Church is just because it is something new. I thought about Rel Life while I working on becoming Catholic, but hadn't quite made it into the Church. When I told Father (which was about a week before I entered), that I was thinking about Rel Life he was not surprised at all.
I, too, have lots of student loans to pay back, but I have no worries. November 29 will be my 2 year anniversary and should be when I can finally apply for entry into the convent. (I want to enter the order of St Dominic!!!)
I don't know if you know this, but most Order say that you must be Catholic for at least 2 years before applying. By then one should know whether or not it just because you are a 'newbie' or whether you have a true calling.

Daily Mass, prayer, and talking to a priest are the greatest things you can do! Know of my prayers!!

*HUGS-n-PEACE*
FV

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I'm not a convert, but I know how you feel about the loans. I have a ton of loans from undergrad (luckily I got a full ride to grad school and graduated form undergrad in 3 years or it could be pretty impossible).

In my experience, God is a bit of a nag. Not like how my mom nags me to do the dishes, but in a kinder, gentler way. I think part of that is because I chickened out in entering after high school in 2000 yet always knew that no matter how hard I tried to create my own path, God's is truly the happier one. If you are questioning that you might have a vocation, you should test it. Go visit communities or go on vocation retreats. I'm visiting a community this weekend, and hopefully will be able to make my decision of where I am going to end up, and then work my butt off when I get my MA in May to pay off my loans ASAP.

I think the loans are God's sense of humor. I made him wait, so now I have to wait!

Jen

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Thanks, Drewmeister for the side note, but upon my reading of canon law and the well-educated Dominicans I have talked to it is not in the Canon Law about waiting two years for Religious Life. It is general practice, but the period of waiting is up to the founder in writing the group's constitution from my research. I believe there may be a Law for priests though. THANKS, again! :)

*HUGS-n-PEACE*
FV

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Finally! I got two of my midterms out of the way today, so I have a few days of free time to breath and catch up with the rest of life.

Thank you all for the info and responses. I know I owe it to myself and God to look into this further, and I'm working on raising up enough nerve to talk to Father about this.

I already knew about the time limit in most orders... works out just fine, anyway... the way I figure it, if I graduate next year, I can get a job as a seasonal biologist/technician. That would enable me to pay off my loans in about a year by my math, assuming I don't have too many more expenses than I do now. By that point, it will have been three years since my conversion.

-Veronica

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