JenfromSVDP Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 So what do y'all think of peeps dating in youth group? I mean, like, they met in youth group, don't go to the same school, and are dating. Just wanted to get opinions...not like it's me or anything...no really, it's not.
Andrea348 Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 i was never in a youth group, but that has been discussed at our Newman Center. it doesn't happen too often that any of us date...well, because in general there is a lack of guys. But anyway, it is very tricky because if anything happens to that relationship, both of the parties feel awkward and may decided that they can't still be involved with the Newman Center because they can't stand being around the other person. Then there is the issue of what happens after the breakup. THat is happening with us right now. There were two students, now sophomores, who dated in high school and they came to college as an item. In the middle of their freshman year they broke up, and now the guy is dating another girl at the Newman Center. It is really awkward for the other girl and she is somewhat jealous. It is also difficult making sure that the couple doesn't inclusively hang out with each other during events. There are a lot of cons, but if you meet the right person for you, you meet the right person for you. It would be foolish to ignore it. I think it requires a lot more work and the relationship must be built carefully so that if something happens in the relationship, it doesn't affect the dynamics of the group. Just my .02.
HomeTeamFamily Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 they could have met at a worse place thats for sure....
shelly_freak Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 I think it's a great way to meet people. I'm just not too keen on dating in youth group. It always seems that it becomes everyone in the group's buisness. And then when they go break up there's alot of tension and it's just not fun. I think if two kids from youth group were to date but keep it seperate from the group then it would be fine. I've had a few nasty experiences with dating in my youth group.
StColette Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 Depends upon how old they are. For one thing they shouldn't be dating just to be dating, because that's not the real purpose of dating. Get my point ? If they met each other in youth group and are old enough to realize that hey this could be the person I want to marry then I see no problem with it. Generally a person who is at the age to make that type of realization can either drive or arrange for them to meet outside of youth group. Youth group I would consider a good place to meet a "potential" spouse because you know what that person's faith is like. However responsibilities and purpose comes with dating and it's not something just to do for the fun of it. God Bless, Jennie
Thy Geekdom Come Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 [quote name='StColette' date='Nov 15 2004, 01:56 PM'] Depends upon how old they are. For one thing they shouldn't be dating just to be dating, because that's not the real purpose of dating. Get my point ? If they met each other in youth group and are old enough to realize that hey this could be the person I want to marry then I see no problem with it. Generally a person who is at the age to make that type of realization can either drive or arrange for them to meet outside of youth group. Youth group I would consider a good place to meet a "potential" spouse because you know what that person's faith is like. However responsibilities and purpose comes with dating and it's not something just to do for the fun of it. God Bless, Jennie [/quote] :wub:
Thy Geekdom Come Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Nov 15 2004, 02:02 PM'] Awwww... young luv.... :hearts: [/quote] I agree with Jen. Dating has become so much about going out and having fun. That's what friends do. Dating, or courting, as I prefer, should be with a person who is a friend...your best friend, in fact, but it also includes the possibility of marriage. It should be fun and enjoyable, but it must also not try to exclude other feelings. Couples should not only be willing to "put up" with the difficulties and stresses of one another, but they should embrace one another, including everything from fun times, to hard times, to stressful times, to angry times, to happy times, etc. This will mean that courting isn't always fun...sometimes it's gritty and painful, but you embrace it. This is something our society doesn't like. Children are raised now to suppress their problems and not to work them out, not to share them with one another, etc, too. Courtship needs to be centered around the possibility of spending your lives together, which is a thought most teenagers aren't capable of. That being said, as long as that is the aim of dating a person from youth group, then I think it's an excellent place to find a person to go out with.
homeschoolmom Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 and they should spend time babysitting other people's three children so they can really expeience family life together.... Any takers...?
StColette Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Nov 15 2004, 01:18 PM'] and they should spend time babysitting other people's three children so they can really expeience family life together.... Any takers...? [/quote] me lol I babysat 6 lol fun times
shelly_freak Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Nov 15 2004, 01:18 PM'] and they should spend time babysitting other people's three children so they can really expeience family life together.... Any takers...? [/quote] I wanna babysit! I love little kids! As long as the parents come home I'm all good!
Thy Geekdom Come Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Nov 15 2004, 02:18 PM'] and they should spend time babysitting other people's three children so they can really expeience family life together.... Any takers...? [/quote] I'm double-Red Cross certified and I love kids...but I don't live anywhere near you...
Janana8706 Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 I think its fine, b/c hopefully if they go to yg. they would be staying w/ in church teaching, of abstaining and so on. Besides I think if they go to y.g they prolly have the same priority on God or at least same beliefs. What more would you want w/ a date then those similarities right away
BLAZEr Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Dating Bad. Killing the Malaysian Prime Minister Good.
AfroNova No Limit Soldier Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Casual dating is bad. Period. Within youth group or not. Courting is good. I'm pretty sure SVDP has been exposed to Jason Evert & Matt Smith. What is their opinion of him, Matt Smith, and their message?
shelly_freak Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Yeah, not so much into that casual dating thing.
ryanmeyersmusic Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 my wife and i met in our high school youth group...
shelly_freak Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 [quote name='ryanmeyersmusic' date='Nov 16 2004, 09:27 PM'] my wife and i met in our high school youth group... [/quote] That's so cute
franciscanheart Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 [quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Nov 15 2004, 01:18 PM'] and they should spend time babysitting other people's three children so they can really expeience family life together.... Any takers...? [/quote] *raises hand*
franciscanheart Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Youth group dating is a big topic of discussion, especially at my parish. Well, it used to be anyway. When our youth minister first came she established the no dating within the youth group rule. It was a good rule especially because we were all so young. As we got older she kept the rule (of course) and for good reason. People would try to sneak around and date anyway and it just caused a lot of tension. Even when them dating was out in the open (and they werent allowed to show it in youth group) when they broke up it again caused tension in the group. It never really worked out because none of the people going were of the age to really even think about marriage. They certainly didn't have the necessary maturity level!! There are a lot of things you could say that would be for dating within the group but in my experience it generally creates more problems than it's worth. I do though say too that I have seen some people work out very well after meeting in youth group. I guess mainly it's the age and maturity level thing. And if you are dating someone in the youth group it doesnt need to be a topic of anyones discussion during that time. I saw a couple once who met in youth group and started dating and no one new it. They were so completely pure about their relationship that it was never an issue. They didnt cling onto each other or blow kisses during talks. It was all very mature. It can happen, it just doesnt happen a lot. Okay im done rambling i think....
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