NO ONE FALLS IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT (LAFS)

[Frankcdnj]

[b]NO ONE FALLS IN LOVE LAFS [/b]

[color=blue]The leader of a youth group in the South Bronx put it this way: "You don't fall in love. You fall into lust. Love is something you grow into." True love is a process that takes time, and effort.
"Love at first sight" is a myth. You may, of course, feel an intense romantic excitement for someone you meet. You may feel that this is "Mr. Right" or "Miss Right," someone you would enjoy having as a partner. But no matter how many powerful hormones and emotions "love at first sight" may unleash in you, this does not constitute love. You cannot love someone you do not know. Love grows gradually, going beyond mere sexual attraction to include a balanced understanding and appreciation of the other human being. It goes deeper than feelings alone. Love is unselfish, a willingness to share. These are not perceptions and attitudes that you "fall" into at first sight.
Genuine love is an attraction to another's inner beauty. It is not superficial, but soul deep, a union of soul mates. They find happiness in helping to bring out what is best and most beautiful in each other. Just as our inner beauty can keep growing as long as we keep working at it, so too our relationships of love can continue to grow and enrich our lives, provided we continue to value and work at them.
An ancient maxim teaches that "passion clouds reason." Sometimes, in the heat of anger, people kill someone near and dear to them. Their rage blinds their reason. Only when their blood has cooled, only when it is too late, are they able to see clearly the horrible consequences of their anger. It is said that "love is blind." But it is lust that is blind. Lust clouds reason. In the heat of sexual passion people make poor decisions, they violate their own moral standards, their better judgment. It is only when they have cooled down that they may be able to recognize the harm caused by their blind passion.
Please do not equate lust with love. Sexual infatuation, obsession, or passion are not necessarily signs of love. Our emotions are gifts of God; they give us energy. But they can also narrow our focus, even blind us; they can be fickle, impulsive, and exhaust us; they can undermine our goals, and our integrity.
Love grows slowly. But it is positive, motivating, enlarging. Are you really in love? Is your relationship based on the description of love given by St. Paul?[/color]

[XIX]

I concur. The best that can happen is a curious emotional attachment at first.


But I want to clarify that we are called to love everybody, even our enemies. So it's not 100% true that we can't love somebody we haven't even met yet. It's just that we can't love everybody in a romantic way.

[PennyLane]

I agree.

I'm guilty of liking someone after everything I heard from other people about him too.

[Don John of Austria]

I completly disagree -- I know from Personal experiance thatthis is simply false, it isn't comforting to know that it is possible as I like everything to be ordered and an act of will when it comes to such things but it is possible and does occur, even if only rarely.

[heyyoimjohnny]

Love at first sight... real? Maybe not. But I don't like to rule out possibilities just because people might say "it can't happen."

[J.R.D]

Love is a state of mind

[DancesforLove]

I completely agree with that. Personally It would be a bit of an insult for someone to say I've loved you since the day I met you, because that says you've loved my appearance not me. You can't know someone by looking at them or even being involved with them, you have to actually communicate and spend time with that person.

So many people consider knowing someone to be the person you're intimate with and it's not.

[Paladin D]

My mother had love at first sight, and my parents have been married for 25 years now.

[DancesforLove]

It is a common thing to say it was love at first sight once you are actually IN love with the person but no one truly falls in love at first sight. I think you can have a gut feeling or intuition about a person very easily though.

[azaelia]

I don't think the actual term is "I fell in love at first sight." but rather "It was love at first sight." There is a slight difference there. The first expression implies a deeper connection, and probably refers to 'Lust at First Sight' as it is called, since being in love with someone you don't know is just about impossible. But teh second expression could be possible. Love and being in love are different things. I love my best friend, but I would be in love with my husband. Love at first sight implies a connection or spark that could possibly grow into a deeper love. Like let's say I saw someone that caught my interest, and I thought to myself "The person seems worth getting to know." and it just so happened that that person ended up being my one true love. Love at first sight is an acknowledgment of an instant connection, not neccesarily passion. It's often portrayed by film as being this instant passion that clouds all reason, but since when did movies tell the truth about real life?

I think real "love at first sight" can and does happen.

[Don John of Austria]

Look I am telling you it is certianly possible you unromantic ninnies. I am telling you with out a doubt it is possible, it has happened to me and it was not lust, if aything my love for her cooled my lust for her. It wa a long time ago 11 years or so but I loved her than and I love her still, by the way (incase kilroy is reading this) that in no way diminishes the Love I have for my wife which waqs anything but love at first site, I didn't like her at all when we met. That doesn't mean I didn't love her, I can assure you no one was shocked by the realities of love at first sight than was I, still it occured, it is real.

[Balthazor]

I agree with the Don, Love at first sight is possible, and it happens.
Sometimes you are just drawn to someone and have a connection, and it isn't lust at all, it is like you look at this person and you just know them.

[peach_cube]

I agree that love at first sight is possible, sometimes things are fated.

[Lavender]

Love at 1st sight, eh? I believe that it could happen; I don't have any personal experience to relate to yall, but I have most persistent reasoning to believe that God is an insufferable matchmaker. I swear, this is true! Sometimes, you have to believe that it is God at work, because love can appear due to the oddest circumstances. (just ask jeramy and rayvn lol)

[ironmonk]

[quote name='Don John of Austria' date='Dec 2 2004, 03:31 PM'] I completly disagree -- I know from Personal experiance thatthis is simply false, it isn't comforting to know that it is possible as I like everything to be ordered and an act of will when it comes to such things but it is possible and does occur, even if only rarely. [/quote]
Don...

Looking on a woman's beauty and feeling strong for her does not equal love. It is lust, or admiration of beauty... it is not love.

One could think they've fallin in "love" at first sight with someone beatuiful only to find out she's a jack chick disciple, muslim, nazi, etc...

It is impossible.

Love is a gift from God, that a man and woman grow into.

One could feel strongly at first sight, and then grow to love that person... but it is not love when you just look at someone.


God Bless,
ironmonk

[Balthazor]

It isn;t the beauty.....it is something else monk. It has nothing to do with looks, I know the saying is love at first sight, but that sight is so insighted that you see more than just the physical

[Luthien]

I dont think calling attraction between the sexes lust is fair. Like azaelia said, it draws us to one another, as God designed it. Being sexually attracted to someone isnt inherently evil, though it can be. But that isnt to say you should build a relationship on sexual attractiveness alone. But neglecting the element of attraction between the sexes isnt a good thing.

I did not fall in love with my boyfriend, it grew as I got to know him, as did my attraction to his masculinity. So for me they both happened at the same time. I fell in love with all of him, I love him for him. Its a great thing.

[Don John of Austria]

[quote]It is impossible[/quote]

I'm suprised at you iron--- NOTHING is impossible. And I don't recall saying anything about beauty, I recall saying love.

[BLAZEr]

I'm with Don on this . . . in fact it has a theological identity as well . . . its called presentiment . . . the awareness from the first glimpse of someone that they are for you . . . it's an awareness that this person in front of us is for us in a way different from everyone else . . . and you can immediately give your heart to this . . . you can fall in love . . .

Why?? Because real love should be love at first sight . . . all love should be that free . . . in fact this is the gift of the virgin, that she can love at first sight . . . love everyone at first sight . . . in fact the love within marriage is meant to reflect the love inside of the trinity . . . their love is present from the beginning, from the source of its being . . . this is love's greatest quality, that it can be given immediately . . .

Of course, most of us don't love rightly . . . but it doesn't mean we can't . .. that its not possible . . . of course its possible . . . its possible in romantic love because romantic love is just a particular aspect of love . . .

God forbid love stay at first sight . . . it should develop into something more beautiful, but it can certainly be present at first sight.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Don John of Austria' date='Dec 2 2004, 08:17 PM'] Look I am telling you it is certianly possible you unromantic ninnies. I am telling you with out a doubt it is possible, it has happened to me and it was not lust, if aything my love for her cooled my lust for her. It wa a long time ago 11 years or so but I loved her than and I love her still, by the way (incase kilroy is reading this) that in no way diminishes the Love I have for my wife which waqs anything but love at first site, I didn't like her at all when we met. That doesn't mean I didn't love her, I can assure you no one was shocked by the realities of love at first sight than was I, still it occured, it is real. [/quote]
Don John, you as a romantic makes me smile. Not in a mean way, either, but in a very genuine happy way. I don't generally think "romantic" when I think of you, usually it something along the lines of "chivalry" or "militant", but of course those should include "romance" as well, so its not really a suprise but more of a pleasant revelation of something I hadn't thought of before. Bah, I guess I'm not making much sense.

I do, however, agree with you. I can't exactly say it was "love at first sight" for me, more like "love the first time I met him"--I did genuinely love Matthew the first time I met him, we spent alot of time talking and getting to know one another, looks didn't have much to do with it since we both pulled an all-nighter and were smelly and disheveled. The second time we "met" we decided to date--the rest is history.

I'm still giggling at the phrase "unromantic ninnies." hehe