Vocation Revelation

[franciscanheart]

just wondering if anyone had any cool stories about their vocations....
im about to start a journal about my vocation journey.... anyway.... post on!


*sits back with her popcorn and waits for responses*

[Maddalena]

Hey, that's a cool idea. Unfortunetlay, just when I think I've found my vocation, it always ends up being wrong.

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

you could take a look-see at my blog... it started to talk about my journey in an entry...

[url="http://handmaidofthelord.blogdrive.com"]http://handmaidofthelord.blogdrive.com[/url]

But I think they are doing some mantinence right now, but you could check...

[franciscanheart]

thats awesome. what a saint. my respect is overflowing.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I could tell you, but since I'm still trying to work my vocation into admitting that she is, in fact, my vocation...

[franciscanheart]

rofl... well you could tell your story up until this point.... or just tell us all when you finally convince her

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Dec 5 2004, 10:42 PM'] thats awesome. what a saint. my respect is overflowing. [/quote]
Are you talking about me?

[franciscanheart]

yes

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

oh... thanks... I dunno what to say... I'm not really very saintly...

[franciscanheart]

psh!

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Dec 5 2004, 11:54 PM'] psh! [/quote]
FISH! [img]http://www.schools.pinellas.k12.fl.us/gallery/variety/fish.gif[/img]

[franciscanheart]

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Dec 5 2004, 11:44 PM'] rofl... well you could tell your story up until this point.... or just tell us all when you finally convince her [/quote]
Okay...this will be long...keep in mind that with the particular calling I feel, my personal life and my vocational life are very close:

In kindergarten, I was asked by my mother if I wanted to go to Catholic school or public school for first grade. I told her that I wanted to go to Catholic school, because I wanted to be "friends with Jesus."

Now, in addition, I should mention that my grandfather was a major donor to Boys Town and a friend of Fr. Flanagan, the founder. Thus, I was a friend to Fr. Peter, the current director, since I was just a tiny little guy. He's a great man...reminds me of Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter.

Fast forward to fifth grade. I learned sex education and it scared the heck out of me. Seriously, I was deathly afraid ot sex. Anyone else have that problem? I mean, it's something so important to our lives and I was terribly afraid of it...it's such an awesome responsibility. The same year, I was sent to a special weekly class for formal dancing lessons (and one lesson on how to eat properly). I hated it. How can you teach a bunch of kids about sex and then make them dance together?

Well, out of this came my first crush, Jennie (yeah, that's right), a short (yeah, that's right), sweet (yeah, that's right), cute (yeah, that's right), smart (yeah, that's right) girl in my class. I dance with her, both shy and beaming at once, at the final dance of those lessons.

In fifth grade, one day, I was sitting on the couch and I was thinking about something, I don't know what, and my mind just cleared of everything...have you ever thought about nothing...not even the concept of nothingness...it's weird... In any event, this moved me deeply.

Well, from there, I continued on my bizarre little path through struggles, experienced my preteens, when I developed into philosophy and science (I had a lot of doubts about God), then my early teen years, when I tried unsuccessfully to be popular, then my middle teens, when I was once again bothered by sex, but this time I was bothered in a different way and out of my fear of it grew my slavery to it. I thought about lustful things all the time, made terrible jokes, used dirty words, and started noticing things about girls in a way that made them seem like objects and not human beings. I can't apologize enough for that to all of you women out there. I was one of those guys. I feel so sorry, but thankfully, God brought me out of it and now I can use my experience for good.

Anyway, how God did bring me out of it was that I had my girlfriend, who was a sort of nominal Catholic (as I was too at the time). She had some problems. I won't say what they were anymore, since my brother is not a Phatmasser and he knows her, but I think most of you know. Anyway, I began to help her and counsel her and that's when I started learning that I had the power to help console people. At the same time, I started learning apologetics because people at school were attacking the Church (especially this one agnostic kid). I was terrible at it, so I joined a forum on a very secularist site and started debating there. I misunderstood a lot of Catholicism and probably led a lot of people astray, but at least I was trying.

Then I went to Italy with my Latin club (and I was going to take Japanese until, for some strange reason, I felt at the last moment that I should take Latin). While we were in Italy, I didn't enjoy myself. My girlfriend was in Denver, studying in a special program for high school students at Regis University and I missed her. I remember that she finally gave me a picture of herself and I kissed it all the time one the bus through Italy (unfortunately, when I was with her, I also was very lustful and we made out a few times and French kissed). I was finally beginning to feel real conversion in my life. Whenever we went to churches on tours, the first thing I would do was go and kneel at the front. It was a pilgrimage, and one which would change my life.

Well, meanwhile, my exgirlfriend cheated on me while I was in Italy (and spent about $75 on gifts for her from here and there). When I came back, I was terribly upset. I gave my mother my pocket knife so I wouldn't have the temptation to kill myself and I just listened to sad music for hours. Actually, this is when I really developed my taste in music, which is in oldies, but has now expanded to praise and worship, chant, classical, country swing, swing, big band, etc.

Well, I gave the gifts to friends and eventually I got back together with her.

I was stupid. Anyway, we had a very sudden break-up and she dumped me in October. We had a lot of the same friends, so I let her tell them that I dumped her (which made them dump on me), but it spared her the embarassment. A few months later, someone asked me what I wanted to do and I said, "become a priest." I don't know why that came out, but it just did. So Christmas Eve, we were opening presents, and my little brother, who had heard the rumor spread through school, was asking about it. Well, hehe...I didn't want to tell my parents yet, so I told him, in Latin. He was never as good at Latin, so it took him a little while to catch on, but eventually he figured it out and then blurted it out. It was funny. The next night, we watch Going My Way and the Bells of St. Mary's and my mother was very excited. We didn't tell anyone else after that for a few weeks, but I told my priest in Confession and he was happy about it, but couldn't tell anyone.

So my mother and I stopped in at the Catholic bookstore, Gloria Deo, and she blurted out to the woman behind the counter, "he wants to be a priest!" Well, her best friend was the Vocation Director's secretary...what a mess. As it turned out, the Archdiocese of Omaha found out about my desire to be a priest about one week before the sex abuse scandal broke. It was not good. I was insulted a lot at school, even by my little brother.

My exgirlfriend called me to "give me her permission" to go to the seminary, and once again, to spare her bad feelings, I let her think that.

Anyway, a year of discernment went by and I was ready to be a priest. I had the persona and everything. Everyone knew I was going into seminary and they either respected me for it or hated me for it.

My senior year, I was invited to the seminarian Christmas party. I got to meet a lot of interesting people, including Archbishop Curtis. When I sat down, I was next to a very nice man, a priest, and we had a long discussion on proto-Christian saints and Baptism of Desire. I went away thinking that he was a cool priest and I'd have to get to know him. He mentioned something about being the head of the Oratory of John Henry Cardinal Newman...I didn't know what that was.

About two weeks later, I saw his face on EWTN. I was shocked. Huh...I had a long chat with Fr. Peter Stravinskas...and we actually had a decent intellectual chat, too...

That spring, I went to visit the Pontifical College Josephinum, but when I returned, the Archdiocese had decided to send me to Conception Seminary College. So I prepared to go. During the summer, I went to the seminarian retreat, where I got to meet Fr. Benedict Groeschel. He's an awesome man and a holy priest.

I went off to Conception and was immediately struck by the heterodoxy by some of the monks. It upset me greatly that they used glass chalices for the Precious Blood and that one monk taught it was okay to overrule the Magisterium with your personal conscience, instead of informing your conscience by the Magisterium. However, I got to meet a lot of interesting seminarians there, including PaxVobis, i.e. Tony, who lived down the hall from me and is pretty good at Age of Empires tournaments. I also got to meet former Abbot Primate Marcel Rooney, who was my Liturgical Theology teacher. He's a great kind old man with a good sense of humor. I also was honored to meet Fr. Bill Whelan, head of the Institute for Priestly Formation, who became a friend of mine, and who was also my spirituality professor.

One day while there, I realized a gift God gave me, which is to take charge and leadership, but only when necessary. We were driving along a country road on a stormy night, coming back from the nearest real town (25 miles away) and I noticed a bright light. I ordered the driver, my friend Jeff, to pull over and we got out. It was a pick up truck. It had smashed head on into a steep embankment on the other side of a large ditch and the driver had crawled out. He was cursing terribly to himself. The three of us ran over too him and I ran up to the nearest house, a few hundred feet, and knocked on their door and woke them up to call the police. Well, the three of us stayed, one of us, who is now working on a counseling degree, began to console him while another, who is still in seminary, began praying the rosary. I held my umbrella over him and asked if there was any way I could help. I ran to meet the police and rescue workers and told them what was going on while they approached the driver. When they got their flashlights out there, I noticed the driver's "Female Body Inspector" t-shirt and his Mason ring. A shiver ran down my spine, but I realized that I had just helped a man that I might not have bothered with if I had seen all that before hand. It drove home the "least of my brothers" idea to me. I was called to serve.

A week before Easter, I went down to my cousin's wedding and I remembered how much I loved the vocation of marriage...and children. During that week, the Easter Triduum, actually, I had a dream that I was on my honeymoon (no, it wasn't that type of dream). I was in Capri with my bride and I gave her a little kiss while we looked out at the ocean, and I was just holding her as we watched the waves and the seagulls. I woke up the next morning and wanted to be married. I was called to marriage, I just knew it, and nothing could convince me otherwise. I told my spiritual director, Fr. Albert, and he was disappointed, but ultimately left it up to me. After the year ended, only three other seminarians (the two who had been in the car with me and another friend from the Wichita diocese) knew about my decision. I went to chat with the VD (Vocation Director) for the Archdiocese of Omaha and he was unconvinced until I told him that the only things which drew me toward the priesthood were those things I could also do as a married man (counseling, service, etc.), but that those things which drew me to marriage were exclusive to marriage (wife, children). He told me that he accepted my decision and I suddenly wasn't a seminarian anymore. It felt odd...like "okay...I'm happy...but what do I do now?"

Well, I didn't have much time to apply anywhere else, so I came to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. This is in the most orthodox diocese in the country, so it's got to be good, right? Wrong. The school is terribly secular, which includes condom hand-outs and frat parties. My consolation: the Newman Center, the most orthodox parish in the diocese is five minutes away. So I got mixed in with the right crowd, made a lot of friends, and had a lot of fun. I went to my first Tridentine Mass. It was fun. I went on my first Koinonia Retreat. It was fun.

Now at this time, I had had a crush on a certain Phatmasser for a while. I don't think I need to say whom. I told her about my feelings and I was rejected, but not harshly or anything. I persisted for a while, but gave up, so I started looking around again (by the way, I have had crushes on a few Phatmassers, but none except you-know-who recently, lol). Well, everytime I found something about a girl I liked, I could only think how much greater that quality was in my Amata and I realized that I loved her.

Around this time was the start of the Year of the Eucharist and I made some hours of adoration for the Forty Hours Devotion in preparation for it. You all know the story. Long story short, I felt a deep call to go to Steubenville, and so did my Amata. I also felt like I was told that I would marry my Amata and that I should not worry. It's hard not to worry, especially with my fear of rejection, which is only natural, given my history. I fell in love with her on my birthday, October 26th, on the way to Mass. I couldn't stop thinking about her and I haven't stopped thinking about her since.

I started studying the Theology of the Body and getting involved in the NFP phorum here. I felt called to study it more and more and eventually I started seeing parallels between what was happening in the courtship between God and man and between myself and my Amata. Eventually, I started realizing that the Bible isn't just everything else we consider it, it's also a giant romance novel...the greatest romance we can imagine. I started taking my strategies from it and they seem to be working.

Anyway, most recently, I have felt deeply called to use my experiences in this and my understanding of it to help advance TOTB in relation to courtship and marriage. I feel called to making it my life's work, and I can't detach it from my private life.

Metanoia is a beautiful thing.

God bless,

Micah

[melporcristo]

[quote name='FutureNunJMJ' date='Dec 5 2004, 10:32 PM']you could take a look-see at my blog... it started to talk about my journey in an entry...

[url="http://handmaidofthelord.blogdrive.com"]http://handmaidofthelord.blogdrive.com[/url]

But I think they are doing some mantinence right now, but you could check...[/quote]
Hey Angela! I checked out the site and it is very cool. I was actually drawn to what you said about not telling people you want to be a nun when you first meet them. I can definately understand. I think it is great how you have been discerning. Well ... since I don't talk that much here is my on-going story ... I have always felt a longing to become a sister and live in community with others, loving Christ, and serving His people inthe Church. But when I became a teenager I shoved it to the side and even shoved my faith out of the picture. I started worrying my parents because I began to hang out with goths and wiccans (which my parents didn't know) and was interested in what my friends did. Yeah ... this could go onto the Phorum about things we've done that we regret. So eventually after terrible relationships with people, sucide attempts, and lots of drinking, I came out of the darkness and decided I wanted something better. SOOO 4 years later, this summer I went to work for the LIFE TEEN camp and had some good time to reflect on my vocation. When I got home, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and here I am discerning ... praying lots and going to a discernment retreat in Rhode Island with Regnum Christi!
And there it is!

I do want whoever who reads this to know that you should at least go to ONE discernment retreat. I am praying for you!

PEACE with you,
Mel

[franciscanheart]

[Andrea348]

i've had some pretty intense moments in my discernment....i'll post them later....after my physcis test

[Piccoli Fiori JMJ]

[quote name='melporcristo' date='Dec 6 2004, 03:21 AM'] Hey Angela! I checked out the site and it is very cool. I was actually drawn to what you said about not telling people you want to be a nun when you first meet them. I can definately understand. I think it is great how you have been discerning. Well ... since I don't talk that much here is my on-going story ... I have always felt a longing to become a sister and live in community with others, loving Christ, and serving His people inthe Church. But when I became a teenager I shoved it to the side and even shoved my faith out of the picture. I started worrying my parents because I began to hang out with goths and wiccans (which my parents didn't know) and was interested in what my friends did. Yeah ... this could go onto the Phorum about things we've done that we regret. So eventually after terrible relationships with people, sucide attempts, and lots of drinking, I came out of the darkness and decided I wanted something better. SOOO 4 years later, this summer I went to work for the LIFE TEEN camp and had some good time to reflect on my vocation. When I got home, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and here I am discerning ... praying lots and going to a discernment retreat in Rhode Island with Regnum Christi!
And there it is!

I do want whoever who reads this to know that you should at least go to ONE discernment retreat. I am praying for you!

PEACE with you,
Mel [/quote]
wow! That is pretty cool! Yeah, for some reason vocation discernment is an on going story... I'm pretty sure that this what I am called to do, but I haven't really taken any action... So, I'm still going... thanks for the comments btw...

[Andrea348]

ok....i've got a little more time now....

First story...after I got back from my first retreat with the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist last October I was in a daze. The sisters had been everything I imagined they would be and more. The weekend was nice, but VERY stressful for me because I got some pressure from the vocation director to see if I could drop school and pay of the money and enter the next year. I had never seen this as an option and quite frankly I had no idea where the money would come. The rest of the retreat was nerve wracking because she told me to pray about it and tell her what I found. Well, I didn't really get an answer, but I went home in love with the sisters and their way of life but still stressed about the money and not finishing school. I WANTED to finish school....I HAD to finish school. Well I was in my first class the day after I returned....Music History III to be exact. We were watching some opera on video, I can't remember which, but I was bored and started thinking about the whole weekend. I found myself a couple minutes later crying right in the middle of class (and i don't cry). Something came over me and changed how I felt and I was willing to drop out of school if need be. This scared me soooo much. After the class was over, I immediately called my campus ministers to schedule an appointment to talk later in the day. So I talked with them and it made me feel a lot better. This was a big step in my vocational journey because I gained the willingness to let go of my plans.

Second story...my favorite....this was the February following the last story. It was right before the Valentine's Weekend Retreat with my college. We got an e-mail that Wednesday from the campus ministers telling us what we needed to bring and one of the items was a "piece of our heart" (i.e. some small item that is meaningful to us that we can tell a short story about) I had no idea what to bring...I was looking around my room, but found nothing, all the "pieces of my heart" were at home. My eye finally glanced to a holy card I have from the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist that I have sitting next to my computer. That was it. So I decided on that....two of my roomates were in the room at the time and I casually mentioned that the next retreat was next weekend. They asked me why I'm not going. I was firm in my beliefs and was like I can't go....it's too much money, i don't have the time, i just went in October....i had every excuse in the book. God sure does have a sense of humor. After they left the room, I was still justifying myself for why I can't go and decided to check my e-mail. There waiting for me was an e-mail from the airline I take out there. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. So I consulted my campus ministers to make sure it wasn't a rash, bad decision....and called my mom the next day to tell her. The very next weekend I was out in Michigan again. As the vocation director says, our God is a God of surprises. He certainly had one in for me.

Third story, now that I'm a senior in college I really have to start figuring out what I'm supposed to do. I'm graduating in May, but with $20,000 in student loans that need to be paid off before entering. I was going to work my tail off and beg for money, but my schedule didn't really permit it. I had stooped down and told myself you'll just have to wait another year. That's the message I got on senior retreat too....It's ok to wait. Just as God did before, as soon as I admit to follow His way, things start to work out. My grandmother died at the end of October and my brother and I are the only grandchildren, so my parents are gifting us $10,000 each towards our loans. My aunt, my dad's sister, also received a lot of money and might be giving us each $10,000 as well, which would take care of my loans. So that is where I am at now....seeing if my aunt comes through and then going out in May to maybe get entrance papers....how exciting....I also feel a little bit of a call to work for a year though....we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Sorry so long....I had a lot to say.....

[franciscanheart]

im so totally loving this thread right now

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Dec 6 2004, 05:59 PM'] im so totally loving this thread right now [/quote]
Are you gonna post yours, Laura?