Charity

[homeschoolmom]

Hello fellow converts and reverts...

I have discovered that converts can be among the most zealous members of the Church. I'm wondering, however, if sometimes our zeal can come off as self-righteousness when dealing with Protestants. I don't know how to explain myself... (I'm sure I'm doing a carpy job of it)... So, how do you balance the zeal and passion for Truth with humility and compassion?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Well, I'm a revert from secular "Catholic" nominalism...I held Protestants and secularists in distain for a long time after coming back to the faith, usually when they were just honestly seeking the good and true path.

I think that sometimes it is important still to be firm and that can come across as self-righteousness (there are some converts on the phorum who will tell you that I can be very firm at times, lol), but we also have to be understanding. It took me a long time to realize that instead of talking about "when you do this, you commit such and such a sin," I should say, "when we do this..." It comes across much softer because I am including myself as a sinner. I think that using soft language does a lot. Chatting about things and discussing as if in armchairs by a fire instead of at stations at a debate. I think being prayerful helps, too...taking time with answers to reflect on how to phrase things. Being a little laid back makes us so much more powerful when we really have to be serious and get down to solid business on an issue. Patience with diligence.

[Dreamweaver]

Sometimes when engaging in theological discussions and debates, I find myself looking down upon other denominations and people following those denominations since they don't have the fullness of truth found in the Catholic Church. I try my best to love all people, since by looking down upon non-Catholics, I would be looking down upon a younger me. All religions have some truth to them, some more than others.

All in all, we share much more in common with all our Christian brothers and sisters than what we have different.

But sometimes those darned theological discussions bring out an elitest attitude. My zeal in being Catholic shouldn't be used to hurt anyone or make them feel hurt.

[Sojourner]

I find that I can pretty easily slip into this attitude ... I have issues with pride anyway, so it's not at all uncharacteristic for that pride to manifest itself in theological discussions.

I've found that imagining myself in their shoes (which is, after all, where I was not too long ago) really helps to check me in this area. It's a scary thing to start questioning things you've believed all your life, and to think about leaving the network you've been a part of forever ...

[theculturewarrior]

convert syndrome. I am guilty of this common neurosis...but fortunately it is usually temporary.

[drewmeister2]

I think it is wonderful that some converts and reverts are so strong in their faith. They can be models and examples to other "less-strong" Catholics. While the majority of converts are strong in their faith, I have met a few weak ones. And of course, there are strong cradle-Catholics as well, and also many weak ones, unfortunately.

The Catholics who are weaker should look to those who are stronger in their faith, which do primarily happen to be converts. That is what I love about converts is that so many of them are strong in their faith, and for those that aren't, the strong Catholics need to help the weak ones become strong. God bless!

[Quietfire]

Yeah, but isnt it aggravating to hear someone say, "Well, I worship God in my own way." (something I used to say, as well as 'it dont matter what church you go to as long as you show up')
Cause now my response is, "Oh, so youre comfortable creating a God that fits into your wants? Fine then go ahead."

Yeah, I can be a stinker at times.

Edited December 28, 2004 by Quietfire

[journeyman]

point of reference - a convert or revert has made the decision for themselves - either as a matter of personal conviction or after significant research/study . . . as such, their own personal self identity is at stake in any "denominational" discussion . . . part of that zeal may be in defense of that earlier decision . . . and may come across as over-zealousness or self-righteousness . . . a "cradle Catholic" who has "always" been Catholic can always blame / credit their parents

As a convert for less than a year, I have neither enough knowledge, nor enough self-esteem, to put down any other denomination. I do study the subject more than some of the cradle Catholics I know - the leaders of my RCIA group professed astonishment at the amount of reading I did outside the class, and I still haven't done more than scratch the surface.

Zealots, as someone noted, are not limited to the converts. My eldest son probably fits the label "militantly orthodox." I'm struggling with being more "liberal" than he is. He might label my wife (a cradle Catholic) as, what was the phrase someone used (peek, copy, paste), a secular Catholic nominalist. (Honor thy mother, indeed!)

One of my greatest obstacles to converting was the holdover mentality of "outside the Church, there is no salvation" and papal infallibility. (ok, that is two)

Even though the orthodox attack the ecumenical teachings of Vatican II, (as I understand them, not having worked through the Vatican II documents yet) the current teaching makes sense to me. Groucho Marx is supposed to have said . . . "I wouldn't want to be a member of any club willing to accept me as a member." The Church is so large, and so diverse, that I don't mind being a member. I haven't figured out which orders don't get along with the others, but as long as the Jesuits can get kicked out (3 or 4 times?) and still be under the "big tent" I figured there would be some place for me.

Especially in light of the priestly abuse scandals, and a lifetime time of skepticism about the "real" intentions of elected officials, infallibility is a tough topic. I'm probably still not completely over that hurdle, as it is a useful tool in the secular political world, but the Pope gets the benefit of the doubt (maybe I'd better say that another way . . . as long as I understand what is required of me, even if I don't understand the why, I do it anyway . . . as long as it doesn't conflict with my prior understanding of right and wrong . . . and I don't ask out loud . . . what is he smoking?)

In the final analysis, at least for the moment, I think I converted because of the Catholic notion of grace. I couldn't quite grasp the fundamentalist concept of being "saved" simply by accepting Christ as Savior . . . and didn't like the idea that beneath a coat of whitewash, I was still the same old sinner I always was. The idea of rebirth through baptism (too long ago to help much today) and traveling toward Christ in the faith/life journey fits my "need" to believe that I can be a better person today than I was yesterday and even better tomorrow than I am today. By following the example of Jesus, Mary, various saints, etc, I progress toward a place I want to be.

I don't feel a need to prove other people wrong (and have never been all that fond of conflict anyway), so I don't think I come across as zealous or self-righteous. (I could be wrong) I think it is important to try to live my faith, and hope, at some point, maybe, that people will look at my life and say "I wish I had what he has." At this stage, I wish I had what some others have (a couple of friends come to mind, as well as several members here, like hsmom).

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Dec 12 2004, 04:06 PM'] Hello fellow converts and reverts...

I have discovered that converts can be among the most zealous members of the Church. I'm wondering, however, if sometimes our zeal can come off as self-righteousness when dealing with Protestants. I don't know how to explain myself... (I'm sure I'm doing a carpy job of it)... So, how do you balance the zeal and passion for Truth with humility and compassion? [/quote]
Yes it can come across that way. But consider it a pearl of great price that many of you have struggled to attain. We who were born into the faith can take it for granted, you do not.
You are far more likely to hear" well done good and faithful servant" than many a cradle catholic will simply because of the journey you made to reach this point.

Your zeal renews the Church, by showing us concrete examples of grace in action, as you come to have what too many people take for granted.

[mom25angels]

When anchored in great love, zeal is good!! Ask the Holy Spirit to come to your aid when you are talking to our seperated brethren. I always say....Come Holy Spirit, by the powerfull intercession of Mary, In the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 'course I wouldn't do this out loud.....they'd run
Adoration helps, too, pray for Charity. IMHO Adoration helps evrything. If you've been refreshed in the Lord it's always easier to speak with greater Charity.

[akamarymag]

pray for an increase of love, compassion and enlightment on there perspective. Its hard for me to but praying about these things has helped a lot. It might also help a lot to connect with some of our brothers and sisters in heaven who know how we feel. (EX. St monica and her son, St john vienny and St. Paul.) I found personally that what i really need besides an increase of love is an increase of patance....its not easy at all, i still struggle with it in my house and at school.

A little prayer goes a long way, imagine what a lot of deep prayer, meditation and fasting can do.....WHOA!