rachael Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 i wonder how many will get this.. how many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? 2, 4, 2, 5, 2, 5, 2, 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stargirl3:16 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? Nun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp2_rules Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 haha, that's good. even though this is a lightbulb thread, i can't help share a few other musician jokes i know.... how do you know there's a drummer at the door? he's knocking too fast and comes in too early How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando? Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm. Why do bands have bass players? To translate for the drummer. What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? Counterpoint. Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed? There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other didn't have any money either. Why don't bass players play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them. What do you call a person who hangs out with the band all the time? The Drummer. What's the definition of a bass player? Halfway between a drummer and a muscian. How do you confuse a bassist? Put one of his strings out of tune, but don't tell him which one! sorry for all the bassist digs....lol...there are a lot of guitarist jokes as well. we all love each other---honestly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 sadly some of those bass jokes are true.. nobody looks for me in hide and go seek... since we have some non lightbulb jokes ill do some too h/o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stargirl3:16 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, but I could look it up for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 10 Ways to drive Guitarists Crazy 1/ Use a whammy bar better than they 2/Consistently use drop D tuning so they can't cheat off your hand position 3/ Use a fancy preamp with nicer sounding distortion and/or FX 4/ mimic all their leads, you can do it better, anyway 5/ Use a Pitch Transposer or Piccollo bass. 6/ constantly remind the guitarist that it takes them 6 strings to do what you can do with 4 {may not work if the guitarist can count past 4 and you have a 5 or 6 string} 7/use an 8 string bass 8/ keep telling them they're out of tune, they usually are. 9/ learn the acrobatics and finger tricks, and do them better 10/have the biggest......floor controller If you as a bassist do these things correctly, you may achieve the ultimate accolade: The GTR may walk off the stage in midset, leaving you to finish. If they keep mouthing off, just put some sheet music in front of them, that usually shuts them up...... A missionary goes to the most remote part of jungle. As soon as he arrives in the village he is to visit, he hears drums beating wildly in the distance. He asks the Chief what the drums mean. The Chiefs reply is "Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad." During the missionaries entire month long stay he frequently asks the Chief about the continuous drumming. The Chiefs reply is always the same. "Drums play good. Drums stop bad. Finally as the missionary is leaving he asks the Chief again about the drumming. The Chief says "Drums play, g..." "I know, I know" says the missionary. "Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad. But why is it bad when the drums stop?" The Chief shakes his head and says" Drums stop, bass solo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delta557 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Q. How many fighter pilots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. None, cuz it'll be your sorry butt doing it for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 PM edited light bulb joke Q: How many Phatmassers does it take to Change a light bulb? A: 1950: 1 to change lightbulb 23 to share similar experiences of changing the light bulb 7 to exclaim their horror at the thought of changing the light bulb 63 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 45 to flame the spell checkers 23 to write to the list administrator via the list and complain about the light bulb changing discussion, saying that it's inappropriate 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames 34 to post that the list is not about lightbulb changing and to please take this exchange to debate 111 to defend the posting to the list saying that we are all interested in Lightbulbs and therefore the posts ARE relevant to the list 45 to post URLs where one can see examples of lightbulbs that could be used 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs 12 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to the list which makes the light bulb topic relevant to the list also 45 newbies to paste in all posts to date, then quote them, including all headers and signature files, and then add, "Me Too." 21 extremely new newbies and 1 troublemaker to quote the "Me Too's" only to say, "Me Three." 12 geezers to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the lightbulb posting fiasco 19 more geezers to post after the thread has been going on for a week and say that the lightbulb topic is now a dead horse 6 to suggest that posters request the light bulb changing FAQ and 500 not to respond to anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 [quote name='JazzforJesus' date='Feb 4 2005, 03:10 PM'] PM edited light bulb joke Q: How many Phatmassers does it take to Change a light bulb? A: 1950: 1 to change lightbulb 23 to share similar experiences of changing the light bulb 7 to exclaim their horror at the thought of changing the light bulb 63 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 45 to flame the spell checkers 23 to write to the list administrator via the list and complain about the light bulb changing discussion, saying that it's inappropriate 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames 34 to post that the list is not about lightbulb changing and to please take this exchange to debate 111 to defend the posting to the list saying that we are all interested in Lightbulbs and therefore the posts ARE relevant to the list 45 to post URLs where one can see examples of lightbulbs that could be used 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs 12 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to the list which makes the light bulb topic relevant to the list also 45 newbies to paste in all posts to date, then quote them, including all headers and signature files, and then add, "Me Too." 21 extremely new newbies and 1 troublemaker to quote the "Me Too's" only to say, "Me Three." 12 geezers to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the lightbulb posting fiasco 19 more geezers to post after the thread has been going on for a week and say that the lightbulb topic is now a dead horse 6 to suggest that posters request the light bulb changing FAQ and 500 not to respond to anything [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp2_rules Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 [quote name='JazzforJesus' date='Feb 4 2005, 03:10 PM'] 12 geezers to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the lightbulb posting fiasco 19 more geezers to post after the thread has been going on for a week and say that the lightbulb topic is now a dead horse 6 to suggest that posters request the light bulb changing FAQ and 500 not to respond to anything [/quote] rofl...you know it's only a matter of time... i liked the guitar ones as well ....i got 'em... btw, how do you know if the stage is level? when the drummer drools evenly out of both sides of his mouth. --can't forget our good friend, the drummer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I just thought of this one. How many Phatmass addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they are afraid that while they go to change the lightbulb to manythings will happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp2_rules Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 [quote name='JazzforJesus' date='Feb 4 2005, 04:59 PM'] I just thought of this one. How many Phatmass addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they are afraid that while they go to change the lightbulb to manythings will happen [/quote] lol!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeTeamFamily Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 youi forgot the 13 that complain that light bulbs are too neo-con and the 34 that argue that lifeteen is abusive to the liturgy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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