Carnanc Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 lol, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamweaver Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 [quote name='JazzforJesus' date='Feb 4 2005, 04:59 PM'] I just thought of this one. How many Phatmass addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they are afraid that while they go to change the lightbulb to manythings will happen [/quote] Huh? A lightbulb just burned out? Meh, I've been basking in the warm glow of my monitor for the past several hours. Who cares? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbo Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 How many Knights of Columbus does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change it, and 9 to serve the Parish breakfast... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JazzforJesus Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 [quote name='Dreamweaver' date='Feb 5 2005, 02:33 AM'] Huh? A lightbulb just burned out? Meh, I've been basking in the warm glow of my monitor for the past several hours. Who cares? [/quote] its so conveinent that the screen is white Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLAZEr Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician. How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience. How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb? None---Hanover doesn't have electricity. How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure. How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he gets six credits for it. How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest. How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb? None--New Haven looks better in the dark. How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb? five --one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch. How many Vassar students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven--One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation How many Middlebury students does it take to change a lightbulb? Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion. How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb? One, dude. How many Oberlin students does it take to change a lightbulb? Three--One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one. How many Georgetown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Four--One to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. students. How many Duke students does it take to change a lightbulb? A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket. How many Williams students does it take to change a lightbulb? The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do. How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two--One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student. How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a lightbulb? Five--One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it. How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight--It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress. How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to change a lightbulb? One--she calls a Smithie to do it. How many Boston University students does it take to change a lightbulb? Four--One to change the bulb and two to check his math homework. How many Amherst students does it take to change a lightbulb? Thirteen--One to change the bulb and an a capella group to immortalize the event in song. How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a lightbulb? Wesleyan's boycotting GE . . . you know, military-industrial complex and all that. How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two--One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out. How many Bucknell students does it take to change a lightbulb? One--but he'll only change it if he can put in a white-light bulb. How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a lightbulb? Three--One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in. How many Bard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One--but she'll only do it if it's an alternative light bulb. How many Boston College students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven--One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time. How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb? One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform Birkenstocks. How many Notre Dame students does it take to change a lightbulb? Well. . . One to distract the rector, one to make a bulb run, one to change the bulb, one to light a candle for it at the Grotto, three to discuss the unparalleled lightbulb-changing tradition at ND, seventy to sing the fight song, and eight thousand to check ND's ranking in the lightbulb- changing polls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azaelia Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Q: how would you define perfect pitch? A: when you toss the flute into the toilet without hitting the sides of the seat Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY! Q: How many abstract artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three to unload the giraffe, plus don't forget the blue paint. Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Hey, wanna ride bikes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 [quote name='JazzforJesus' date='Feb 4 2005, 03:10 PM'] PM edited light bulb joke Q: How many Phatmassers does it take to Change a light bulb? A: 1950: 1 to change lightbulb 23 to share similar experiences of changing the light bulb 7 to exclaim their horror at the thought of changing the light bulb 63 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 45 to flame the spell checkers 23 to write to the list administrator via the list and complain about the light bulb changing discussion, saying that it's inappropriate 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames 34 to post that the list is not about lightbulb changing and to please take this exchange to debate 111 to defend the posting to the list saying that we are all interested in Lightbulbs and therefore the posts ARE relevant to the list 45 to post URLs where one can see examples of lightbulbs that could be used 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs 12 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to the list which makes the light bulb topic relevant to the list also 45 newbies to paste in all posts to date, then quote them, including all headers and signature files, and then add, "Me Too." 21 extremely new newbies and 1 troublemaker to quote the "Me Too's" only to say, "Me Three." 12 geezers to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the lightbulb posting fiasco 19 more geezers to post after the thread has been going on for a week and say that the lightbulb topic is now a dead horse 6 to suggest that posters request the light bulb changing FAQ and 500 not to respond to anything [/quote] Of course, you forgot about the: 10 who will complain that there is uncharitableness in the light bulb thread 14 who will argue whether the light bulb changer should change the bulb facing the people or with his back to the people 3 who will try quote Early Church Fathers opinions on light bulbs 5 who will start their own debate in the debate phorum arguing that light bulbs did not exist in the times of the Early Church Fathers 7 who will issue a general call to go to other non-Catholic boards to invite them over here to discuss light bulbs and, of course, 8 who will state that they are discerning whether or not it is not their vocation in life to have a working light bulb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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