Non-catholics At Mass

[ICTHUS]

Nothing against your priest or your diocese's policy, but I've never liked that.  It's basicly saying that the Holy Sacrifice is less important than being policitally correct and not hurting anyone's feelings.  I definitley want a Mass at my wedding should God be calling me to the married life.  I don't care if my bride is Catholic or not.  I mean, are we not going to ask Christ and the Holy Spirit to bless the marriage if a Christian and a Jew get married, or a Muslim, or a Budhist, or whatever?

The question you should be asking there is "Why the HECK is a Catholic marrying a (Muslim or Buddhist), whatever, when Scripture tells us plainly NOT TO BE YOKED WITH UNBELIEVERS!!!!????

[Anna]

Whilst Mass may be celebrated at a "mixed marriage" usually the priest will advise against but he cannot refuse as far as I know at least in Australia.

As far as ignorant behaviour is concerned during Mass or any of the other sacraments are concerned I have usually been more disturbed by the behaviour of some "Catholics". Protestants and others who disrepect the liturgy of the Church and the Sacraments often do so out of ignorance or embarrasment at not being used to the idea of the holy.

Catholics should know better. "To him who is given much, much will be demanded...." Luke 12:48

You are, of course, correct, Father.

Many brides and bridal parties dress immodestly, knowing that they'll be at a Mass, yet choosing tight and revealing formals. Some act very giddy (perhaps partially out of nervousness) which seems disrespectful. I remember one wedding in our parish years ago. My pastor was so embarassed and angry, I'd never seen his face so red.

I had gone down to the community room, where the copy machine was, to insert pro-life materials into our weekly bulletin, and the bridal party had left the room in a wreck. They'd been boozing it up down there before the ceremony!

(But I have also noticed a non-Catholic in-law of mine who jabbers all through weddings as if she's in a protestant gathering. As an Episcopalian, you'd think she'd know that silence is to be observed during the Mass. She calls her services "Mass," and her minister a "priest," but when in a Catholic Church, she talks right out loud...very aggravating! )

:(

[Good Friday]

The question you should be asking there is "Why the HECK is a Catholic marrying a (Muslim or Buddhist), whatever, when Scripture tells us plainly NOT TO BE YOKED WITH UNBELIEVERS!!!!????

I don't want to get into an intermarriage debate, because frankly I think that intermarriage isn't always a good idea. Marrying a non-Christian can sometimes be a bad idea, since many non-Christians will either want to raise their children in their faith or raise them in neither faith to allow them to make a decision later in life. Even intermarriage with other Christians can be a bad idea. They may not care that you're Catholic when you marry, but when you go to raise their kids Catholic they might be a bit repelled by it -- even the non-Catholics who aren't very active in their own faiths. So, personally, I don't think it's the best idea in the world. There's also the problem that many other religions and other Christian denominations think contraception is okay, whereas it's a grave sin in the Catholic Church. These differences in belief can cause marital problems, though they don't always cause them.

However, I thought I should point out that -- even though I don't like the idea of intermarriage on a personal level -- the Church does permit it, provided that the Catholic will continue to practice his/her faith and that it's understood that the children must be raised Catholic. So your assertion that Scripture says not to intermarry is out of context.

You cannot privately interpret this or any other Scripture. You must look to the teaching of the Catholic Church for the interpretation of this and all other Scriptures, and the teaching of the Catholic Church is that intermarriage can be permitted as long as the Catholic spouse continues to practice the Catholic faith and as long as the children are raised Catholic.

[ICTHUS]

Well how's about this. I interpret that Scripture, for myself, to mean that I am not to marry an unbeliever, under any circumstances. I dont believe that it's Gods will for us to marry unbelievers.

[ICTHUS]

Another question: Petrine/Pauline privilege in dissolving marriages - how often is it used??

[Good Friday]

It's fine for you not to marry an unbeliever. I would encourage you not to. But what's not fine is for you to say that the teaching of the Church is wrong, and the Church teaches that intermarriage is acceptable. I understand that you don't want to marry an unbeliever, but my question is: Do you deny that validity of the Church teaching that states one can marry an unbeliever?

Personal preferences and absolute truth are entirely different ball games. I could choose not to eat pork like many Jews and Muslims do, but to state that one must not eat pork as an absolute truth would be wrong. I'm just trying to ascertain whether or not this is your personal preference, or if you think it applies to everyone.

[Ellenita]

Talking of disrespectful behaviour, I was really upset when a woman who had been making really loud negative comments all the way round a Church I was visiting, blew out the candles which people had lit for other people for whom they wanted prayers to be said. I really felt that even though she was very anti Christianity she should have shown respect to other people's beliefs.

On another occasion I nearly fainted when a visitor to a really beautiful 11th Century church walked right across the front of the high alter. It's an high anglican church and only the priest and servers are usually 'allowed' in that area.

[Joolye]

Even though I am a Protestant, I agree that it is rude of people to be making loud noises, laughing etc, during that wedding service, and other masses and whatever else has been mentioned.

[foundsheep]

Well how's about this. I interpret that Scripture, for myself, to mean that I am not to marry an unbeliever, under any circumstances. I dont believe that it's Gods will for us to marry unbelievers.

1 Corinthians 7:12-16

12

To the rest I say (not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her;

13

and if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to go on living with her, she should not divorce her husband.

14

For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother. Otherwise your children would be unclean, whereas in fact they are holy.

15

If the unbeliever separates, however, let him separate. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases; God has called you to peace.

16

For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

[marielapin]

I feel really sorry for this couple. If this happened at my wedding, I would have been very very upset.

3/4 of the guests at my wedding were non-Catholic. It was a beautiful service. Most of the folks had never been to a Catholic service of any kind. Everyone was very respectful and it was appreciated greatly.

On top of being disrespectul to Our Lord in the Eucharist, they were being disrespectful to the bride and groom. How awful!

[VeraMaria]

never mind.

[Azriel]

Just chiming in as one of those crazy Catholics who married a non Catholic ... our Priest gave us a choice in whether to celebrate the Eucharist our not. I felt it would be uncomfortable for my groom's family, so we did not. I regret it, now. But that is the decision we made at the time.

Have to say though, I've never been to a wedding Catholic or otherwise where so much disrespect is shown. Folks need to get a clue.

[cappie]

I have found myself giving a 5 min pep talk before any of the sacraments these days as to behaviour during and after the celebration, e.g. Baptism. Again I find Catholics the worst behaved. For Protestants especially of the "born again" variety the church is only a hall or meeting place, so I explain for catholics it is a sacred place, a sacred site if you will, people seem to understand this as there is great respect shown to indiginious aboriginal sacred sites in this country.

Once again I find catholics the worst behaved. Last Sunday I had a number of baptisms and at the end the parents, all of whom are catholic asked if the could take a few pictures. I said sure and went into the sacristy, when I came out one baby was seated on the Altar for a picture another was seated on his mother's knee on the Presider's Chair and the other on the ledge in front of the Tabernacle!!! I nearly had a heart attack!! All these were catholic and had been to catholic schools.

At least in Australia I have never witnessed overt disrespect that seems to happen in the US. but I am still concerned at the behaviour of my own faith community

[Jake Huether]

I have found myself giving a 5 min pep talk before any of the sacraments these days as to behaviour during and after the celebration, e.g. Baptism. Again I find Catholics the worst behaved. For Protestants especially of the "born again" variety the church is only a hall or meeting place, so I explain for catholics it is a sacred place, a sacred site if you will, people seem to understand this as there is great respect shown to indiginious aboriginal sacred sites in this country.

Once again I find catholics the worst behaved. Last Sunday I had a number of baptisms and at the end the parents, all of whom are catholic asked if the could take a few pictures. I said sure and went into the sacristy, when I came out one baby was seated on the Altar for a picture another was seated on his mother's knee on the Presider's Chair and the other on the ledge in front of the Tabernacle!!! I nearly had a heart attack!! All these were catholic and had been to catholic schools.

At least in Australia I have never witnessed overt disrespect that seems to happen in the US. but I am still concerned at the behaviour of my own faith community

I couldn't agree more Father. I had a few protestants at my wedding, and it was perfect! Thank God.

But every Sunday at Mass I feel like getting up during the announcments and telling the churchgoers how sad they make me.

Half the congregation stands during the consecration! The Extraordinary Eucharistic Ministers (most of which stand at the consecration) all go to the alter before the priest recieves Jesus in the Eucharist. It's a severe abuse of the GIRM, which none of them have probably read.

Not to mention, we have the Tabernacle at the side of the Church, and people still kneel to the center of the Church (to nothing really)! And people pass by Jesus in the Tabernacle like he was nothing.

"Catholics" are the WORST, because they have no excuse.

Ugh!

If only they knew what they had!

But, Vera, I'm interested in knowing what the Bridal Party did. If that was my wedding, I'd have a few less friends after. There is NO excuse for that carp.

[Norseman82]

"Catholics" are the WORST, because they have no excuse.

I remember in Catholic grade school misbehavior in church was NOT tolerated....

You know, we may not have as many nuns as we used to....but we DO still have rulers!!! :lol:

Edited October 28, 2003 by Norseman82

[marielapin]

Half the congregation stands during the consecration!  The Extraordinary Eucharistic Ministers (most of which stand at the consecration) all go to the alter before the priest recieves Jesus in the Eucharist.  It's a severe abuse of the GIRM, which none of them have probably read.

Not to mention, we have the Tabernacle at the side of the Church, and people still kneel to the center of the Church (to nothing really)!  And people pass by Jesus in the Tabernacle like he was nothing. 

"Catholics" are the WORST, because they have no excuse.

Ugh!

If only they knew what they had!

But, Vera, I'm interested in knowing what the Bridal Party did.  If that was my wedding, I'd have a few less friends after.  There is NO excuse for that carp.

I can't believe your priest allows the congregation to STAND during the consecration. That is the part of the Mass where everyone is required to kneel!

And as for the Eucharistic Ministers, I have never seen them approach the altar when they are supposed to (i.e. after the priest has taken communion). They always rush up during the Agnus Dei. It just makes me very very very sad.

I've found you can really tell if people know why they are genuflecting on Good Friday. There is no Eucharist in the Tabernacle and in most places it is open and empty. Yet people genuflect away. You could move the Tabernacle to the back of the Church and still people would genuflect towards the front. They simply do not know why they do what they do.

[M.SIGGA]

I have found myself giving a 5 min pep talk before any of the sacraments these days as to behaviour during and after the celebration, e.g. Baptism. Again I find Catholics the worst behaved. For Protestants especially of the "born again" variety the church is only a hall or meeting place, so I explain for catholics it is a sacred place, a sacred site if you will, people seem to understand this as there is great respect shown to indiginious aboriginal sacred sites in this country.

Once again I find catholics the worst behaved. Last Sunday I had a number of baptisms and at the end the parents, all of whom are catholic asked if the could take a few pictures. I said sure and went into the sacristy, when I came out one baby was seated on the Altar for a picture another was seated on his mother's knee on the Presider's Chair and the other on the ledge in front of the Tabernacle!!! I nearly had a heart attack!! All these were catholic and had been to catholic schools.

At least in Australia I have never witnessed overt disrespect that seems to happen in the US. but I am still concerned at the behaviour of my own faith community

This is soo true! I went to a Baptist Church in August to hear a friend sing and I was amazed at how well behaved their congregation acted! Other than the fact that it was a fairly large congregation, everyone turned off their cell phones and didn't walk around the church until everyone was standing and people who showed up late went into the balcony rather than parade into the sanctuary during the prayers and scripture readings. And parents with small kids actually utilised the Crying Rm and all the people were dressed respectably. I then noticed that guidlines for attending the service were written in bold letters in the church bulletin that was handed out before sitting down. I really wish more priests would do something like this b/c mass is louder than people talking in a movie theatre. Kids are playing with toys, cell phones keep going off, and people are constantly moving up and down the aisles and walking in and out of the door. Arghhhh....!!!!