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preisthood? could it be me?


Phikoz

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i have had a very interesting year and a half. last year i felt such a call to become a priest, but things prevented me from delving into it deeper and attending different vocation retreats held by the diocese. i then began dating this wonderful girl, she introduced me to so much and i am now able to do more on my own. before her i didnt go to daily mass, i now do, before her i didnt go to adoration, now i do. i look at the relationship with her so highly and realise it was a great teaching tool to teach me more. and now i am once again back to where i started, somehow still feeling that feeling of a call. while dating, i did sometimes feel a slight murmur, but mostly disregarded it. its interesting, whenever i hear someone pray for an increase of vocations to the priesthood, i jump inside and become nervous. it happens every single time, and everytime during mass i want the priest to say for an increase of vocations to the priesthood. its interesting.
i have had at times people tell me that i would make a good priest (like a friend told me last year, which was out of the blue, not pertaining to our conversation) and friends at school of course say that to me as sort of a joke, because im pious i guess. i even over heard my brother and sisters say that i would become a priest, as sort of a joke, (they didnt know i was listening). so yeah, i am in an interesting situation. i almost want to go to the seminary in the fall of this year, even though i have already been accepted into a nearby college. my youth group is putting on a vocations retreat in two weeks, and the diocese vocational director will be there. i have talked to him many a times, and if i still have this inside me, i might ask him about attending the seminary this fall.

so i guess pray for me, i want to do God's will in all of this.

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It sounds like you are falling in love with Christ! A deep love for Christ is the foundation of every vocation, no matter what it is (priest, married)... but keep praying and you'll know which one, and feel comfortable and at home when you find out what it is.
Jesus likes to test our patience and fidelity by making us wait to discover our vocation until we've let go of our timing and accepted His... whenever that may be. We'll be praying for you fo'sho :)

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Phikoz, thanks for your honest sharing. I had some similar events in my discernment. Two weeks after i'd made an act of submission to God's will -- and He began to show me that His will was priesthood -- i met a girl who rocked my world.

But as in your case, the relationship really brought me closer to Christ, as she and i attended Mass and received Communion together. Powerful times!

What i realized later was that it was God's will that she and i should date, because it was part of my discernment. I now realize that no matter how good a romance i find, marriage is not a path to lifelong fulfillment for me.

This gives me such a strong commitment to priestly celibacy. I don't have any "what-if" questions, and even in those times when i feel attracted to a young & holy laywoman (cauz it still happens, ya know?), i can set the feelings aside, knowing that they will not fulfill me.

May Jesus lead you as you discern His will,
D.Be

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I've been going through similar things to the first post. I've had people tell me that I should look into discerning the priesthood. It's kinda disturbing when it's from a priest you respect and in confession (of all places), but you personally don't feel it. I've wavered a lot, but I have noticed that I'm all messed up when I'm trying to do any formal discernment. I get all worried about that to the point where I'm not paying attention to things I should. It's like a big weight on my heart when I've done it.

Part of the problem is that I feel [i]obligated[/i] to have a ministerial role, because I care about my faith. I hear a lot about the lack of priests, and I feel obligated, like it's something pushed onto me.

Yeah, a lot of my friends and family (of my generation) are getting married, and having their first children; I'm feeling left out. I'm finding myself more drawn to the babies, as time goes on. (They seem scared of me, though...)

Anyway, that's some thoughts from the dark cave of my over-analysis....

God bless 70x7 times,
Ciao,

SCardella

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lots of prayers for you phikoz! thank you for sharing this with us--i know it must be hard and scary--discernment and answering God's call can be so at times....but i think your on the right path of listening and trusting.....

God bless you so!!

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[quote name='scardella' date='Mar 4 2005, 11:54 AM'] I've been going through similar things to the first post.  I've had people tell me that I should look into discerning the priesthood.  It's kinda disturbing when it's from a priest you respect and in confession (of all places), but you personally don't feel it.  I've wavered a lot, but I have noticed that I'm all messed up when I'm trying to do any formal discernment.  I get all worried about that to the point where I'm not paying attention to things I should.  It's like a big weight on my heart when I've done it.

Part of the problem is that I feel [i]obligated[/i] to have a ministerial role, because I care about my faith.  I hear a lot about the lack of priests, and I feel obligated, like it's something pushed onto me.

Yeah, a lot of my friends and family (of my generation) are getting married, and having their first children;  I'm feeling left out.  I'm finding myself more drawn to the babies, as time goes on.  (They seem scared of me, though...)

Anyway, that's some thoughts from the dark cave of my over-analysis....

God bless 70x7 times,
Ciao,

SCardella [/quote]
i feel that too at times--that the Church needs me and I must answer. but i also think I cannot be someone that I'm not. I mean sometimes God can use that call to urge us, to move us to think about it, and be calling us to say Yes. but God hs a role for all of us.....its just figuring it out and much discerning....

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Yeah, it's crazy... It almost seems to me (at the moment) that I just have to leave my heart wide open to God and just take what He gives me. I have to pray every day that I desire what He wants for me. In some ways it seems like God almost wants me to anti-discern, in that He just wants me to be faithful and leave it up to Him.

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as the days go by, and it grows closer to the day when i finally am able to talk to my vocation director about going into the seminary this fall, the priesthood is just always on my mind, and i enjoy it. i mean thinking about serving the Church and being able to revitalize the priesthood just seem like me.

this past weekend i actually organized a training session for all of our altar servers (since i noticed they were not exactly reverent) i am actually still an altar server so they knew me and i believe i struck in them some discipline. but what was so surpising was a lot of the older parisoners at the parish just praised me for doing it and just love me for it. and my grandma is so proud of me when i go to church meetings and everything (she gave me 20 bucks yesterday).

i dont know, the priesthood right now (like last year) just fits me, but i must not say anything for sure, becuase God could call me to something totally different, and i shall accept.

so just keep praying for me, as this weekend will be a big decision time when i meet my vocation director and ask him about the seminary, i am willing to do anything for God.

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thats wonderful phikoz! keep us updated......

its hard sincewe dont know where our path of faith shall take us but we do know where it shall and will lead us (God)....

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[quote name='scardella' date='Mar 7 2005, 12:19 PM'] In some ways it seems like God almost wants me to anti-discern, in that He just wants me to be faithful and leave it up to Him. [/quote]
Welcome to discernment. God has given us the free will to choose and make the choice. He does not want to control us like a puppet but to get us to realize that we have to step aside, so that He can work through us. If you feel the inclination to let go, then let go, God is waiting, it just seems you are not ready.

God Bless

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[quote name='Phikoz' date='Mar 7 2005, 10:09 PM'] i dont know, the priesthood right now (like last year) just fits me, but i must not say anything for sure, becuase God could call me to something totally different, and i shall accept.
[/quote]
As one who discerned for many years, I can completely relate to what you are saying. However, it seems like you are afraid to admit that He is calling you. Yes, you say the priesthood fits you and that, on some strange level it makes sense to you, but, and I love this line, because I said it probably as frequently as you are saying it: " i must not say anything for sure, becuase God could call me to something totally different, and i shall accept." Now is it that God [i]could[/i] call you to something else, or that deep down there is the hope that He is calling you to something else?

Personally, I don't think the doubt is on God's side as much as it is yours. I don't mean that in any derogatory sense, nor am I picking on you, because I have been in your same shoes and felt the same way. There will come a time when you will be able to say God, let your Will be done, and instead of being nervous and unsure about that you will be able to be confident in knowing that His Will indeed will be done, when you are ready to let His Will be done in you.

You will be in my prayers..

God Bless

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so i talked to my vocation director and...i am now on the road to entering the seminary. i have to get all the paper work done, have a pyscialogical exam, go through a panel of questioners and finally the bishop. so there ya have it, the journey begins.

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Awesome! I pray that your journey is filled with love and awe of God and that He will grant you the graces you need! God Bless and Mary Protect!

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