The most funny Catholic jokes

[God Conquers]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Mar 3 2005, 04:14 PM'] I am offended.

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A Franciscan and Jesuit were debating which order was the greatest. So, they decided to ask for a sign from God. This is what they received falling down from heaven:
My sons,

Please stop bickering about such trivial matters,

Sincerely,
God, O.P.
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Someone has plagurized the original and factual work. Here is the correct version:

A Franciscan and Jesuit were debating which order was the greatest. So, they decided to ask for a sign from God. This is what they received falling down from heaven:
My sons,

Please stop bickering about such trivial matters,

Sincerely,
God, T.O.R. [/quote]
No way!

It's:

A Franciscan and Jesuit were debating which order was the greatest. So, they decided to ask for a sign from God. This is what they received falling down from heaven:
My sons,

Please stop bickering about such trivial matters,

Sincerely,
God, C.C.

[God Conquers]

One day St. Peter decides he needs a break from the gates of heaven, so he asks St. Andrew to fill in for him while on vacation in heaven.

"Alright Andrew," says Peter, "This is all you have to do: when someone approaches the gates hold up this crucifix in your right hand and this bag of gold in your left. If the person goes for the crucifix, open the gates and let them in. If the person goes for the gold, then pull this lever and send'em to hell."

"No problem!" Replies Andrew

Several days pass without disturbance when suddenly peter sees St. Andrew running towards him from the gates.

"Peter Peter! I have a dilemma, I don't know what to do!" cries Andrew, "What do I do when someone goes for BOTH!?"

Peter answers without delay:

"Oh, let him in, it's a Legionary"