Fidei Defensor Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 What is my life worth? Nothing. Im such an idiot. I cant stand this anymore. Doubts are ripping me apart. Curiosity kills the kitten, and ive pretty much stabbed the kitten to death. I read too much. I get into what i shouldnt and have no faith whatsoever. If God even exists, he would disown me and beaver dam me to hell. Im such a moron. I cant even keep a chastitiy promise. I want to be shot. Nothing in the world can help me now. I envy you all who can just prance around and be so faithful. I want to die. I have no purpose. I want to curl up and die and be forever alone. Slowly I die, and wither away to nothing, not that anyone would notice anyway.
Catholictothecore Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 I NOICE!! How much are you worth? [b]Absolutely, 100% nothing less than the Blood of Christ!!!![/b] Do you have faults? Your wise to admit it! Are they so bad that your never have a chance to recieve forgiveness? [b]THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT WILL REMOVE YOU FROM THE LOVE OF GOD![/b] I've been there...[b]YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS [i]RIGHT NOW[/i]!!!![/b] Mother Mary, pray for Fidei Defensor! I unite my prayers to yours! JESUS WILL REFUSE YOU NOTHING, MARY, SO PRAY FOR HIM!!
BigRedJ07 Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 !newsflash! JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! im prayin for ya
Dudette Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 You're in my prayers right now too! God's love is wayyyyy greater than you can imagine! He can forgive the worst sin!
Azriel Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 You are in my prayers. I am currently in a crisis myself, so I know how dark it can be. Hold on to the thread of light.
corban711 Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 Blessed Mother, take fidei defensor into your loving arms and comfort him with your loving gaze and tender touch. fidei...rest your head upon the Sacred Heart of Jesus and allow yourself to be calmed by the rhythm of His Heart beating with such love for you. Jesus desires so much for you to encounter Him as He is, full of love and Mercy. don't allow yourself to be discouraged by these sins. our Lord is full of goodness and mercy and surely He won't let you go.
Seven77 Posted March 13, 2005 Posted March 13, 2005 [quote name='fidei defensor' date='Mar 13 2005, 06:19 PM'] What is my life worth? Nothing. Im such an idiot. I cant stand this anymore. Doubts are ripping me apart. Curiosity kills the kitten, and ive pretty much stabbed the kitten to death. I read too much. I get into what i shouldnt and have no faith whatsoever. If God even exists, he would disown me and beaver dam me to hell. Im such a moron. I cant even keep a chastitiy promise. I want to be shot. Nothing in the world can help me now. I envy you all who can just prance around and be so faithful. I want to die. I have no purpose. I want to curl up and die and be forever alone. Slowly I die, and wither away to nothing, not that anyone would notice anyway. [/quote] like Catholictothecore said. what is your life worth? what is my life worth? look at a crucifix.. you know, satan hates us so much that he would like for Jesus to have died in vain. think about that. dont be surprised at your sinfulness..get up. guess what? we are all a bunch of sinners here at Phatmass! and guess what else? "With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption." do you know this? He wants to give you new life this side of the grave just like Lazarus in todays Gospel at Mass. just go to confession--rise, come out of the tomb! as my priest put it---just like Jesus wasnt afraid of the stinkiness of the tomb He is not afraid of the stinkiness of our sins. He just wants to breathe His Spirit back into you. and i know that you dont want to die forever. Responsorial Psalm Ps 130:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7-8 R. (7) With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption. Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD; LORD, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to my voice in supplication. R. With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption. If you, O LORD, mark iniquities, LORD, who can stand? But with you is forgiveness, that you may be revered. R. With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption. I trust in the LORD; my soul trusts in his word. More than sentinels wait for the dawn, let Israel wait for the LORD. R. With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption. For with the LORD is kindness and with him is plenteous redemption; And he will redeem Israel from all their iniquities. R. With the Lord there is mercy and fullness of redemption.
DonCamillo Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Fidei, I will tell you a story of mine. I hope that it can help you. One day at was at this point too. I felt that I had nothing to offer in my life. So I made a prayer to God. God, I am a sinner. I am worth nothing. Look at me, what have I done in my life? God give me a sign. If you do not want me to live anymore, I will take away my life. If you want me to live on, let me know. But I am ready to die. My life is not worth it. I was in University at this time, living on campus. So I wrote something on a paper (I don't remember exactly what). And I put a paper in the slot where the door closes. I told God, when I wake up tomorrow morning, if the paper lies on one side, I will take away my life, on the other side, I will live on. I went to bed on my prayer... It is hard to express, but when I woke up in the morning, my room was full of the Spirit of God, and the Love of God. God was present, like a special light filling my room. And the paper not only fell on the "life" side, it was not blown away from the door. It was very clear to me, despite my limitations, despite my sins, despite my denials, despite my falls, GOD LOVED ME and FILLED MY WITH HIS GRACE. My message to you Fidei is that God loves you more than our sins. As a matter of fact, Jesus has ALREADY redeemed our sins by dying on the cross. Jesus died for us, for the love of us all. (That's the greatest gift one can give, the gift of one's life.) TODAY, and in the future, God Loves you. And God wants YOU with him in heaven. Don't let Satan discourage you into believing that you are not worth anything. You are worth so much to God, you (and I) cannot even comprehend it completely. Look at the parable of the prodigal son, despite everything wrong we do, God will always welcome us with open arms. I asked God how much he loved me. He streched his arms, said "This much", and died on the cross. Complete, unconditional love. So instead of focusing on our limitations, focus on the glory and the love of god. You are right, we are not worthy of the Love of God, we are sinners. But God always love us. Let us love him back. Thank you for your love God. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you Jesus. I love you too. God bless you Fidei.
Catholictothecore Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 and you wouldn't have posted this if you didn't want to listen, if you didn't know deep down inside that we will bring you to God in prayers and encourage you.
the_rev Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Please pray... this is what fidei's away message on aim says: God, I am a sinner. I am worth nothing. Look at me, what have I done in my life? God give me a sign. If you do not want me to live anymore, I will take away my life. If you want me to live on, let me know. But I am ready to die. My life is not worth it...
Sarcastic Stare Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 you are worth the infinite love of the lord. you are worth the prayers of strangers. you are worthy of the gift of life. you are not the only sinner. i am a sinner. i pray for you.
cmotherofpirl Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 [quote name='fidei defensor' date='Mar 13 2005, 08:19 PM'] What is my life worth? Nothing. Im such an idiot. I cant stand this anymore. Doubts are ripping me apart. Curiosity kills the kitten, and ive pretty much stabbed the kitten to death. I read too much. I get into what i shouldnt and have no faith whatsoever. If God even exists, he would disown me and beaver dam me to hell. Im such a moron. I cant even keep a chastitiy promise. I want to be shot. Nothing in the world can help me now. I envy you all who can just prance around and be so faithful. I want to die. I have no purpose. I want to curl up and die and be forever alone. Slowly I die, and wither away to nothing, not that anyone would notice anyway. [/quote] Everybody falls, everybody sins, nobody deserves grace. But God gives it to us anyway. There is no sin that can make God stop loving you and giving grace to you. No matter how bad you feel, or whether you even believe in Him, He is always there, loving you. Prayers.
Colleen Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I am praying. St. Catherine of Siena said, "God is closer to us than water is to a fish." God is there for you, even if you don't feel His presence. Don't give up! God loves you so much. You are in my prayers.
Chorusgirl Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 God loves you SO... much!!!!!!!!!!!!! God created and loves you unconditional, Jesus died for us all, your life is SO... valuable and your life isn't worth any price, nothing can amount to your worth. Know you are in my prayers, and you are loved.
mamasboy1210 Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I was once in a place so dark you could feel Satans breath. I was in with drugs sex alcohol anything. I hated it. I defyed god. Then i went to Steubenville and went to adoration. There is a God my friend. He loves you. Go to confession he forgives. Just think the Universe is a Grain of sand in his palm. And he knows your name. GOd doesnt turn his back on us. We turn our backs on him.
ForHimAlone Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Jesus knows what you're going through. I would really suggest praying the rosary. I have personally experienced the power of the rosary. Spend time with Him in the Garden of Gethsemane, walk with Him along the Way of the Cross, and draw near to Him as He breathes His last and dies on the Cross. Look into His eyes. He's doing this for you because He would rather suffer and die than to lose you.... you. He loves you that much, and nothing can separate you from that.
InCircles Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Hang in there. Mary will help you...i'll pray for you...dont think your alone more people have the same problems then you think....here's my screen name if you want to talk: [i]milesimmaculatae[/i] may God bless you... your brother in Christ -Julio
lilac_angel Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1: 5-8. Doubts are very normal and plague most people's minds, but they're definitely something to be overcome. "...because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Hebrews 13: 5 also Deuteronomy 31:6. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend (Jesus) who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:25. I definitely care, partially because I feel like I can emphathize with some of your feelings. I'll pray for you.
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